How do I tell my clinically depressed husband that he needs to work more?

Question

He tends to take things rather personally, and he needs to get out of his current job and into one that pays more and he works more! Right now he only works part-time and I work full-time and we need more income coming in to pay for all of the things he wants to do with our house. He doesn't seem to take my subtle hints and I can't tell/ask him to do more without him going into a depressive state. (He is on meds for the depression already.) Any ideas on how to tell him that I need his help without making him feel like he is worthless???

Answer 1

It sounds like he is stuck in a groove and can't get out.    Suggest some therapy and perhaps a change in meds.    Be direct with him and tell him you support him, but he needs to take some action.

Good luck!

Answer 2

leave him and find a real man

Answer 3

Start talking to your husband about what plans you have to do with your house. SUGGEST to him that if could work a few more hours, you would be able to save up $$ to go toward your project and you could start it earlier.  See what he says then.  

Answer 4

I understand depression because I have it.  I also understand that a lot of people use it as an excuse for not trying.  You can't tiptoe around your husband forever because he may get more depressed if you say something he doesn't like.  Just tell him the truth about your finances - that you need more help from him.  A lot of times, just by doing something to improve your situation, you can overcome depression.  He needs to realize that you can't support him forever while he hides behind this curtain of depression.  

Answer 5

He's probably having trouble working because of his depression.  Why don't you talk to him about seeing his doctor and modifying his meds?

Answer 6

I have an anxiety problem and I can tell  you right now that medicine is not going to help it is just going to make him feel more tired, depressed and lazy, and he will not be motivated to do anything. They tried prescribing me prozac or whatever that medicine was called and my husband would not allow me to take that stuff and i would not allow myself to take it either. i can tell you what he does need, and what you need. A realtion ship with Jesus Christ. I do not care what no one has to say no one can function in this life alone and without God. That is the problem with many people now is that they want to live their lives according to how they want to live it when God created us he had a plan for all of us not to destroy by being depressed. That is one of the devil's strategy's he does not want us to be happy. In the bible it says to seek first the kingdom of heaven of heaven and everything else shall be added unto you. You guys should find a church and surround yourselves with positive people your husband needs to be around men of God, you both should surround yourselves in a more positive atmosphere and pray always for your husband. Just give it all to God he can help your husband to see that his depression is getting him nowhere but he alone has to be willing to change for himself.I would not be wasting my time telling you this if it weren't true and if my life hadn't changed from giving it up to God. It is priceless.

Answer 7

well, but he is worthless. u mean he doesn't know it? maybe u better enlighten him in that case. and he really is worthless. if i were u i would kick him out that fast door wouldn't slam him on his butt. hate lazy losers. my first husband was like it. here is revelation for u - he ain't gonna change