How do I tell my co-workers that my baby will be adopted?

Question

I work with a great group of people, but I am unsure as to how they will react when they find out. I don't want to have the baby, then come back having to explain. I'd rather do it before I give birth. I am 33 weeks along right now. How should I approach this?

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with you putting your baby up for adoption. I think that's a great choice if you know that you are not willing or incapable of raising a child. There's definitely no shame in it.

Maybe the next time a co-worker mentions your baby, depending on the context, you could say something. For example, if somebody says "well you won't be getting much sleep once the baby is born" you could somehow let them know that you're putting the baby up for adoption.

If they don't like it, it's THEIR problem. I wish more women had the courage to do what you're doing. I work in a high school where we have pregnant teens and none of them are brave enough or unselfish enough to do this. They'd rather keep the baby, "my baby" they say, and condemn it to a poor life instead of giving it the opportunity to live a better life in better conditions.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First of all, from an aunt with two adopted children in the family, YEY for you for doing the right thing...You should tell them maybe if it comes up, but get ready for all the people they will know who would take the baby..You are probably really going to hear how so and so has tried having a baby, but now they want to adopt..So, try to stop that one right away..Tell them you already have your baby placed, and that your decision is final and not up for discussion..Anyone who doubts your choice does not have an understanding of love as you do..You are loving your child more than most because you want the best for him despite your feelings. So, maybe start with telling one person who is the closest to you, and she can help you with dealing with the others..Good luck, and again, thank you so much!

Answer 3

You should simply let them know that you've made the decision to make an adoption plan for your child.  If they ask you why & the reasons are not ones you feel comfortable sharing (remember, once it's said, you can't take it back), then let them know that you feel like it is in the baby's best interest.

God bless you as you do one of the hardest thing any woman can ever do.  Without selfless women like you, there would be a lot less fulfillment in a lot of families.

Btw, Rox is off her rocker.  She berates the folks here trying to help.  That's ludicrous.  I, personally, am just trying to be supportive of you.  If you change your mind and choose to parent your child, I'd be just as supportive as long as you can provide for your child & it will have the basics.  I think it's beautiful when a mother can keep her child.  I think it's beautiful when a mother makes an adoption plan if she can't provide what the child needs.

Answer 4

First of all THANK-YOU for choosing this option.  You are a loving, wonderful person - you are a hero and KUDOS to you!!!!

Could you tell them via e-mail?  Perhaps emphasize that this was the best decision for you and the baby, but it was difficult and you would prefer to not have any advice or criticism?

Answer 5

Making this decision may be creating a whole range of emotion from being scared, to being embarrassed, wondering what other people are going to say, will my child be loved, will they be safe, will this be a mistake. Your decision is courageous and admirable.  You do not need to worry so much about what others think of the decisions you make with YOUR life.  That goes with everything in your life, not only adoption.  You will have many opinions, both good and bad.  Keep your head high and go with what you feel in your heart.

Regarding telling your coworkers.  Tell someone who has a big mouth.  This way you will only have to say it once!

Answer 6

If they are a great group of people you should be able to tell them, give a reason why you made the decision and even if they don't agree with your decision at least respect it.   When they stop by your desk to ask how things are going -- make the decision if you want to share with that person or not.   It is probably better that you do it soon though so they won't host a baby shower for you.  

Good luck

Answer 7

You should do it before you give birth- or it will be really hard after.

Is there a time you could sit down with them? As a group? Why a group? Because otherwise, you will need to explain over and over and over- and in the midst of that- rumors circulate as to the real reason or what have you.

Talk to them and tell them all at once. Plan a way to say it so that you get to the point and they are likely going to want to know why.

I think it takes a really big person to give the baby up for adoption- so you are in my prayers as is the baby.

Good luck to you!

Answer 8

well you can tell them or not its up to you but i would just say we are adopting this baby out i have not the time and anything and that is what we've planned to do leave it at that and there should be no questions.

Answer 9

Tell the people that you feel will be the most supportive first.  They will be able to back you up if others are less supportive.