How do I tell my fiance that I don't like the wedding ring?

Question

Not particularly liking the wedding ring doesn't signal "trouble ahead." Thanks for the super unhelpful response; you're welcome for the free two points. :-)

Answer 1

Tell him the truth.  Then ask him as a wedding present if he wouldn't mind trading it in and getting you a different style band to go with the engagement ring.  

Tell him you think the one he bought is  beautiful  and you wouldn't hurt his feelings for all the money in the world but its just not you.  

Jewelers will give you the full value of a ring when traded it in for another one of equal or higher value.  

Ask him if you could both go together to pick it out.  Then when you both find a few you like try to pick out the one he loves the most so he will feel that his opinion does matter to you.

Answer 2

I think you should just be honest and tell him. My friend didn't like her engagement ring - she told her husband and they went back to pick out another one. He wasn't mad - he was actually happy she said something rather then living with something she didn't like.

You could always offer to pay the difference if you decide to pick out a different ring...but I would tell him. You do have to live with this band the rest of your life.

Answer 3

Find a pattern or design that u like and confront him. Tell him how nice it would be if it looked like this (the pattern of ur choice) and how u could show it off to ur gurlfriends and just coax him until he gives in. Hey, u would be wearing for the rest of ur life with him so its all ur gig.

Goodluck!

Ps: Didnt had to provide so much info hun.

Answer 4

whats wrong with it?

i dont care for my band but my husband piked it out and i love him and his thoughts.

Answer 5

I went through the same thing. The engagement ring was beautiful. The wedding band that came with it looked like a pop top from a coke can.

You should of said something immediately. You might of been able to exchange it. But now you would have to buy a new ring.

Personally I kept it. I figured it was his ring to give to me and he picked out that ring for a reason. I had my two rings joined  and added on some thickness to the back of them. Looked much better to me.

You always wear your engagement ring and wedding ring. so wearing the wedding band on its own shouldn't be an issue.

So it isn't you. After 23 years of marriage I have learned my husband and I have different taste. Either I buy my own jewelry(which I have done) or I accept what he has chosen as being beautiful for me.

Answer 6

I think the fact that the wedding ring doesn't look right on it's own may be a way to subtly introduce the subject. I honestly understand how you feel about this, and I am quite sure that he will, as long as you assure him that you don't want some horrendously expensive replacement.

Answer 7

we have the same situation before i get married, my husband also picked a wedding ring that doesnt thrilled me, but you know what i just ignore it because i saw that he did an effort to bought that king of wedding ring,i think its a simple thing but thats therir fulfillment....till now im still wearing that ring... and its wonderful.......and im thrilled.

Answer 8

I see trouble ahead.

Answer 9

How about, "I don't like the wedding ring."?  If you can't talk openly with your fiance, how are you going to communicate after you are married?

.

Answer 10

Many women keep the engagement ring on with the band, but if you can improve the ring in any way - speak to your fiance. If you explain that it's a little plain & could you spruc e it up at the jewellers, if he loved you he'd be fine with it.

It's you who has to wear it after all. It's only a small detail in your marriage, so it's up to you whether you think a ring is important enough.

Answer 11

Why don't you grow up?  You're the one marrying the guy, yet you can't even tell him the simple truth that you'd just prefer a different band.

Answer 12

Tell him that you have a real dilemma because you want the option of not wearing your beautiful engagement ring to work or to the gym because you are both afraid of losing it and because you don't want your boss to think that you're rich and don't need a raise.  Say that you know that he wants you to be happy, but as much as you love the engagement ring, you just don't like the wedding band well enough to want to wear it alone and there are times when it isn't appropriate to wear the engagement ring.  Ask him if you could, please, trade in the band for one that would be more comfortable.  Preface and end the conversation by saying, "I love you," or, "You know I love you."

Answer 13

I would suggest just talking to him about it. Just explain to him that you really don't like it and want to look for a different one. Tell him that you have seen other ones that you would rather have. The place he purchased it from may be willing to trade it for one that you do like. We couldn't find a band that I liked. (my ring was purchased without the band) and my jeweler wanted to trade my engagement ring in for a complete set. I didn't do it of course, but it's just an example. So just tell him nicely and explain that you don't want to hurt his feelings. I mean, you're the one that has to wear it for the rest of your life :) Good luck! Hope this helps and congratulations!!!

Do you have a picture of it that we could see??

Answer 14

How can you think about that. I'm getting married in Sep and I've always hated yellow gold but I love my ring because he picked it out for me.

Answer 15

If you're going to get married, you should be confident enough with your love for each other by this point that you can and should be able to tell each other anything.

It's a ring...an object, not how you feel about him.  Your love for each other is much more imporant than a piece of metal.

Tell him how much you love him and that he means everything to you....and tell him the truth.  You're going to hurt his feeling if you don't tell him and then he finds out later. . . it will mean more to him if he knows you feel secure enough in your love that you can share anything with him.

He's to be your partner for life....and if you can't talk about a band of metal, you have bigger problems than the choice of a ring.

Answer 16

what you wrote and how you wrote tells my you will be plenty sensitive to your fiance when you tell him that it isn't growing on you.  make sure there are no distractions, but other than that, be yourself, and be kind.  he will respond.  i am assuming he is not a hot head (the kind that broods for three days when his favoite team looses).

its better to get it out in the air now then to have that ring in all your wedding photos.  right?

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Answer 17

First I recommend you don't tell him that you don't like it but do find a way to get something you like.

We had a special band made for my engagement ring (because it had an irregular shape) but we still wanted matching bands so we found something we both liked and now I have the diamond sparkly and the simple band. (For the record I love both but I use the simple band for work and the other for special occasions.) It wasn't that expensive to do and it made it special. Good Luck!

Answer 18

Do you like it when it's set together with ring?  If it does, maybe you can get another band where when you want to wear it alone you have that.  If you just hate it all together.  Be honest with him.  maybe where he got the ring, they can swap it for you OR they can melt it down, and you can customize exactly what you want.  But you have to hurry, because it may take awhile to find a ring that you like and want.

Answer 19

i agree with the post that said a picture is needed!! and i also liked the idea of picking out a seperate band that you can wear when you're not wearing the set!

but it sounds like you want a different band altogether that you can wear with OR without your e-ring.

did he pick out his wedding band, or did you? or did you pick it together?

if you picked it out, i would say something like ' i wish i would had your help picking out your ring, are you sure its your taste?' and that should open up the dialogue for you.

if you both or he picked it out, i would say 'i think it was really special that we found your band together, that really meant a lot to me. do you think it would be ok if we went to pick out a band for me? i know my engagement ring already came with one, but i'd like one i could wear on its own sometimes. see that little notch there? it looks kind of weird when i wear it on its own, no? ..."

men are very practical, i think it you present it on the practical notes it will go smooth.

Answer 20

You only have two options; tell him or live with the ring. Since you "communicate" so well, why didn't you tell him then? If you know him well enough to MARRY him, I don't understand why you can't "guage" if he will be offended. But, you will post this question to a bunch of strangers who don't know either of you! A year and a half is a long time to think you MAY come to like a ring you will wear for eternity. Thus, you led this man to believe that you loved this ring for a year and a half. You shouldn't get mad at the answerer's, because you posted the question. No offense, but your question doesn't make you look very bright. Also it makes it appear that you don't really know the man you are going to marry. Sorry.

Answer 21

Can you say something like it's not comfortable? Say, "I hate to split up the pair because they go so nice together, but to me the band isn't very comfortable. If' I'm going to be wearing it everyday, I want it to feel just right."

Saying they go so nice together won't be a lie- they probablly do go nice together! They were made for each other hehe. Just not what you would like to wear.

I don't think this means trouble for your marriage at all! I don't think I'd trust my fiance to pick out my band only because if I am going to wear it EVERY SINGLE DAY, I better love it and it better feel nice on my finger.

Answer 22

Well at least you like the engagement ring.  There are so many young women that have to tell their fiance they just don't like the engagement ring he chose.  The reason why I always suggest a man take the girl with him.

He probably bought it as a set.  Try to take it back to the jeweler & see if they'll let you trade it in on something you do like.

Accept the fact that your fiance's feelings are going to be hurt.  Tell him how much you love him, but that you just don't like the ring (for whatever reason)  

Not knowing him, I don't know what his reaction will be, but if he is a mature man, he will realize that the two of you have different tastes about A LOT of things & that this is trivial to what is going to come up in your marriage.

Best of luck to you!