How do I tell my fiance that I was sexually abused by my father as a child?

Question

Please don't be rude, I've already dealt with people telling me to suck his **** and calling me a w***e.

I'm an adult now and haven't had contact with him in years

Answer 1

a discussion of this magnitude is never going to be easy. I would just sit him down and say it. If your fiance loves you he will support you no matter what.

And for what it's worth if the woman I loved told me that, in no way would it change the way I saw her. In fact it may even clear up some things.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I was abused too,went through the same bs with the names and such.People have no right.Any way.I personally wouldn't say anything unless it comes up in the bedroom.And good for you for not contacting him.He needs to apoligize.

Answer 3

That's horrible that people would say those things to you. If your fiance really loves you, it won't make a difference.

I'm sorry that, that happened to you. That should never happen to any child, but unfortunately, it does. What's done is done. Move on with your life, get out the things that you need to tell your fiance, and then let it be.

Life throws you a lot of curves...keep your hands steady on the wheel.

Best Wishes To You

Answer 4

You should be able to discuss ANYTHING with the person you choose to marry. If you don't feel comfortable talking with him about it, you may have a problem? Anyone else, who cares. Your husband - this is huge.

If you don't, this is something you have to carry ALONE. A husband is supposed to help you carry life's weight. Don't underestimate him. Give him the opportunity to help you carry the weight. Just start talking.

Answer 5

I am truly sorry to hear this. I would just tell him. If he loves you, it won't matter anyways. Good Luck!

Answer 6

You first make sure that your fiance is sensible and sensitive and respect you for who you are.  They you tell him.  If he isn't sensible and sensitive, don't even think about telling him.  And, in that case, my advice would be to not marry him and make sure you find a guy who meets those standards.  

  Now, are you functioning well and happy with your life?  Folks who were abused as children often need some help.

Answer 7

Hey girl you have a lot of guts admitting you were sexually abused by your father as a child.  You are not alone because there are literally millions of boys and girls who have been sexually abused by their parents.  Now to answer your question.

It seems you want to either be honest with your fiance, or you want to be comforted by him or you feel somewhat guilty but I will not go with the guilt thing because it is hurtful.  My advice for you is don't tell your fiance about this.  Tell a priest, counselor, minister but do not share this with your fiance because later you will think he married you out of pity.  Hope this helps  

Answer 8

The best way is to start by telling him that it wasn't your fault.Give him all the details you want to give.If he really loves you,he will appreciate you telling him

Answer 9

As his fiance, you are really entitled to tell him what happened to you.  This could be an issue that comes up later in life.  When I say that I mean as far as it could come up because of certain fears you have, it could be used to explain these fears.  It could come up a million different ways.  Plus, you don't want to have anything between you and your significant other.  If he truly loves you like he says he does (he obviously does or he wouldn't be marrying you), he will comfort you on the subject.  Just don't hold anything back, don't lie in a relationship.  

Good luck and be strong.

And I do not care what any one says, because if they call you a w***e for this, they are just completely ignorant.  You are at no type of fault for this happening.  It was your sick twisted father who did this to you.  He should be getting the repercussions, not you.