How do I tell my future sister in Law ( who is 13) she can't invite her friends to my wedding?

Question

My future sister in law who is 13 wants to invite some of her 13 year old girl friends to my formal wedding. The background is that she is a bit immature and not understanding of this type of social event. I do not want to cause waves with my future in laws because she is the little princess of the family.

Answer 1

This has a simple answer: just say no. It might be better to make arrangements with your fiancee and allow the sister to have 1 friend so that they don't feel alienated (something I went through at my boyfriend's sister's wedding,) but this is YOUR wedding, not Princess's Tea Party featuring a Bride and Groom. If you let others walk over you on your wedding day for the sake of family politics, there will be more long-term damage than short-term.

Answer 2

Tell her it is invitation only.  That the bride, groom and maybe parents do the invitations.  If they have a say they gotta help pay.

Answer 3

Just let her invite one of her friends.She should obey you,its your day.If she doesn't and her friends show up at you guys wedding,kick them out.

Answer 4

I'm willing to bet that the other members of the bridal party have invited dates - dates whom they probably won't have a lot of time to talk to - and that there are lots of relatives around their ages. But they are still bringing their husbands/wives/girlfriends/boyfriends along!

Since this girl is too young to date, allow her to invite a girlfriend along as a "date." JUST ONE! That was she has someone to dance with at the reception and chat with, etc. There's nothing worse than having to dance with your male cousin just because he's your age. A female "date" would help her feel more engaged in the party.

Answer 5

You are the bride and this is your special day.  Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings.  13 is young.  I wouldn't want her friends there either.  I didn't have anyone under 18 at my wedding, not even family.  If your inlaws want them there then they should pay for them to attend.  Just tell your sister in law to be that 13 is young and that since she is in the bridal party she won't have time to entertain them.  Why should she have her friends at your wedding? That is nervy of her.  You could also tell her that you only want people at your wedding who you know really well or just tell her no plain and simple.

Answer 6

i will tell her its my day not yours and you can not invite your friends for my event  due to you want to keep it with your family and friends.  but i would let her have one friend  that way she will be out of your hair and have someone to dance an have fun with that night esp if there is not going to be other kids her age there

Answer 7

I think it would be good for her to have one friend and make that black and bold ONE FRIEND because that one friend might be able to tame her down and keep her in control for the night.  

Answer 8

I would let her invite 1 friend, just so she is not lonely. Look at it from her perspective: a room full of people gaping over her brother and you and she will be bored out of her mind. She prolly will know few people (and no one on your side of the family). She needs someone to talk to.

At 13, she might be immature, but by treating her like another one of the kids is just going to exacerbate that. She needs to be treated like one of the adults, receive a seat at the adult tables, receive adult favors, and be given the opportunity to invite ONE guest.

Relatives are not the same as friends. I have loads of cousins who are the same/similar age as me, but in our teenage youth we were all at different stages of maturity, were not that chummy with one another, and all have different interests.

As your future sister in law I think you should treat her like a sister and let her invite a "guest". Who she chooses as her guest will have to be between her and her parents (I'm sure they have a good idea which friends would be better, or maybe they would allow her to invite a guy friend).  

Answer 9

You don't have to, your fiance(e) does. It's his (her) family, and (s)he knows her better and so better undersatnds how to effectively deliver the message.

Basically explain that this is your event, not hers. You can use the "can only invite so many people" line (but it shouldn't be required).  

Answer 10

If you don't want her to bring friends. Try telling her? If that doesn't work try convincing your fiancee to tell her? If you plan on telling her, tell her that it's your wedding and you want YOUR friends and FAMILY there. If it was HER wedding she could bring whoever she wants to but its yours and you have every say!Same with the fiancee choice.Just ask him as nicely as you can.Try to see if he could tell her.

Though it's true about her being immature.Sometimes, kids her age would be bored at that kind of stuff and that's why they find the need to invite their friends.It may be a bad thing, but think about the good?She won't be bothering you with childish things or she won't ruin your mood or something like that.She'll stick to her friend.

Best of wishes!!!

Hope your weddings AMAZING!

Answer 11

just  tell here

Answer 12

You don't. You have your FI talk to his parents i.e., her parents and explain that this is not a social event for her friends. I could see maybe one friend to keep her occupied.

Answer 13

It's your wedding. You send out the invitations. She does not.

This might be a little bit tricky if the in-laws are contributing financially to the wedding. However, even if that's the case, you're entitled to have guests at your wedding that you want. This might require a conversation with your future in-laws (probably without the little sister present).

If you want to extend an olive branch and try to be more welcoming to your new family member, perhaps invite one or two of her friends so she doesn't get bored at the reception with all of the adults. However, you don't have to let her have a free-for-all with the invites. Talk to her parents, and see which of her friends would be the most mature and comfortable at the event.

Answer 14

Tell her she can have one friend to keep her company and entertained.. and that's it.  It might be best to talk it over with your fiance and let him tell her.

Answer 15

Tell future hubby

that his parents should

explain the situation to little

sis, and let them handle it.

Don't stress, pass this

one on the in-laws!

Answer 16

tell ur husband to tell her!! and if that fails then tell her that this is a realy special day for you and u would like it if only YOUR freinds and family were their!! and then say something like"but how about sometime i take u and ur freinds to the mall" and by them slurpies or something!!

email ma how it goes!!!!!!!!

Answer 17

I agree with the first answerer. If it won't break the bank to allow her one friend, that would probably be the best way around this situation, so as not to tick off the princess' family and keep everyone happy.

But if you're on a tight budget, and every head counts, then stand your ground, and explain to her family (her parents are the ones who should be telling her she can't bring friends) that you've got limited seating, or some generic excuse like that, and you simply cannot afford to pay for people you're not personally close to.

I remember when I was 13, and I was socially awkward and didn't like large social events, either, so she might want to bring one friend for that reason. But multiple friends? PUH-lease. She's not the queen ... she can't so whatever she wants.

Answer 18

I have to ask what would be the harm in having 3 or 4 thirteen year olds hanging around.  They don't have to attend the ceremony, just the reception.

If she's this immature, it's not like you're going to get much usefulness from her as part of the wedding party anyhow.  Do the official thing in the church, have the official bridal supper and when the dance starts let her friends show up.

You're happy because the wedding went fine, she's happy because she's hanging with friends, the family is happy because all has gone smoothly and because Princess is happy, and you look like the master of compromise.  No downside here.

Answer 19

This shouldnt even be an issue!