How do I tell my husband that its ok?

Question

I've been married for two years. My husband hates his job and complains about it every day. I can't/won't advise him to get a new job because he was out of work for quite a while before this job opened up, and I know it'd take him a long time to find something new.

I used to try joking with him, saying things like, "Well if work was fun, we wouldn't get paid for it" but that doesn't seem to lighten him up any. I really don't love my job either, but its a job, it pays the bills, so I don't complain.

His major complaint is that a certain person he works with doesn't exactly pull his weight at work. It drives my husband crazy, and he complains about it to me every single day. Well, its getting kinda old. I don't know how to respond when he's ranting about work all the time. I want to be supportive, and be a good listener and wife, but I don't know what to say anymore! Its the same thing all the time. What should I do, and how do I tell him that this is not the end of the world?

Answer 1

Tell him if he's that unhappy then he should find another job BEFORE he quits this one. Gently remind him how long he was out of work before he found this job.  

Answer 2

I can relate to how your husband must be felling. I use to work at a casino, in the finance department, by that, I mean I pulled the boxes out of the slot machines, emptied the boxes in a secure room(believe me there is nothing more aggravating than pulling someones' load while they sleep,) "yes the guy actually was sleeping" As with all casinos, surveillance is a given, meaning management was aware of it. You may need to tell him in a not so unconditional way. ( the way you would speak to a child). Sounds as if, in this case, your just gonna have to tell him work is a way for providing necessary means of life, you need it to make money, to pay for bills and every day expenses of life. When he starts ranting and complaining just ask him what other type of job would interestst him,( this way you could look for that type of work for him) with out his knowledgede. when you find what strikes his interestst, you could simply say," hey, honey, i was reading through the classifieds, (or you place of resource) and I think I seen a job you may be interested in". This way it will give him the feeling he is not carrying the stress load alone, that you can relate to what he is dealing with..

Answer 3

All you can do is listen.  

Answer 4

In deed lucky is the person that loves his job. Tell him if he doesn't like his job to look for another one.  Unfortunately there is not many out their and few jobs are fun to go to anyways.

He should really grow up and learn to suck it up.  It is just a job, not his life,  you are his life and  he should be happy he found you.

Answer 5

two things come to mind.  He should talk to his supervisor about this other person.  Talking to you helps, but won't solve the problem.

Also, he can always post his resume online at places like monster.com or careerbuilder.com.  That way he may find another job while he's still working, and won't have to be out of work.

Answer 6

When he comes home, have a drink ready for him, his slippers at the door, and rub his shoulders.  Let him know you love him, he is doing the best he can in a bad situation, for the both of you.  

Answer 7

You try to reinforce the positives.  For example, if you have a vacation planned out ahead of you, and he's complaining about having to endure another day at work, a comment like, "Well, that's how we're going to be able to go to_____" can go a long way on making him refocus.  Or reminding him that you haven't had any utilities shut off because they're getting paid on time.  

Most of the grumbling about work is because there's no system of rewards in place.  I suggest changing all of that!  Plan on a date night--just the two of you--and actually go somewhere.  You don't have to spend much money (in fact, keep it reasonable so that you don't introduce financial stress), but get out of the house.  And DON'T TALK ABOUT WORK.  Avoid it like the plague.

Plan a vacation.  It can be as simple or as extravagant as you can afford.

Allow him to save up for some gizmo that he's always had his eye on.  It gives him something to pull for.

If all else fails, of course, there's pounding the pavement.  Dust off the old resume and seek out other employment in fields that interest you (and him, of course) more.  You don't have to stress over it:  You have employment now... but go looking.  See who's hiring and what the wages are like.

Answer 8

Maybe he should just take a couple of afternoons off and go see if he can line up some interviews else where. Don't let him quit his current job until he has a new on. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I know whats its like to absolutely hate your job. I would rant about it every single day until it about drove everybody around me nuts. But I couldn't help it, it was just so awful.

The best thing you can do is just listen. Its really a venting kind of thing. And if its truly that terrible, eventually he will reach a conclusion with his rants...he'll leave his job and get a better one.

Answer 10

Question do you work?.  If you do not work maybe do this for him go get a job and let him find something he enjoys working at something you hate can be very stressful and boring.

Answer 11

Just tell him straight up. And you should advise him to get a new job. BUT he has to be accepted to the new job first in order for him to quit the old one. Help him out.

Answer 12

The same way you just told us.  Tell him that it's bad enough that he has to deal with work while he's at work, but that it's terrible to bring it home too.  Leave work where it belongs.  You already know how he feels.  Tell it to the boss, you can't do anything about it.  When he starts talking, change the subject, start massaging his shoulders, or just strip naked in front of him and tell him you're gonna make it all better now.  lol