How do I tell my mom nicely?

Question

My mom is on an anti depressant, and in the beginning it seemed to be working nicely. Now she just seems to be her old self again. My aunt has the same problem, and is on the same meds, but she upped them, and is herself again. My aunt and I think my mom needs to do that too, but my aunt's not supposed to know my mom's taking them, so she can't explain what we think should happen, and I have no idea how to go about it. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Blackbere said it perfectly. My husband is on those meds too, due to his PTSD from Viet Nam. He was giving me lots of "attitude" a few weeks ago, and I asked him if he was taking his meds. He stopped and told me he didn't realize he was being so nasty, and apologized, saying that he'd check with his doctor and see if he needed to up the dosage, or change meds. He's in regular therapy too, but only gets his meds checked every six months. Sometimes they need to be checked sooner, even though they take a while to take effect. Just gently remind her that she's acting more grumpy than usual, and suggest the doctor check to see if her meds are doing their job. Say, "Mom, I just want you to feel better, so let's call the doctor and get an appointment". You're to be commended for trying to find a loving way to approach your mom. Too many kids would say horrible things about their parent being nasty to them, not realizing that their parent has bad days too. I guess parents aren't supposed to have those, huh? Hope things work out for your family, especially between your aunt & mom. Life's too short to hold grudges. At the end, family is all you've got. <*)))><

Answer 2

seriously, just flat out tell her that the meds arent working right.  she might just want to switch to a different kind, instead of uping a dose.

my mom is on anti-depressants too.  i reemmber when she was given the generic version instead of brand name... wow that made a difference... she was pissy like you wouldnt believe. and she was being really mean to me one day and i just flat out said "i think you need to have your meds checked" and it hit her that she wasnt acting like herself at all and pinpointed it to the switch in the meds.  if someone hadnt said anything (and i wasnt the only one that noticed the change) then she would never had noticed it, because you cant usually see it in yourself.

now you dont have to be as mean about it as i was, my mom and i have the same personality so we're really blunt with each other and dont have a problem with it, but at least tell your mom flat out that the meds dont seem to be working and she needs to go back to her dr.  there are sooooo many different kinds out there, she'll find what works for her, you dont even have to let her know that your aunt knows, just make sure that she knows that there is a big difference in her behavior again and you've noticed it and want her to get better again

Answer 3

This is a very touchy subject because people who are depressed can be really unreceptive and can sometimes take things the wrong way.

Here's an idea.  Sit down with your mom and ask her how she is feeling and if she thinks her medication has stopped working.  If she doesn't seem to think she's okay, tell her you've noticed she doesn't seem like herself lately.  Ask her if she's talked to her doctor about her medication.  Suggest that she ask her doctor if she should be on a different medication or maybe on a higher dosage of her current medication.

Don't bring your aunt into the conversation since there are some issues there.

Be sensitive, but be sure your mom knows you care about her and want her to feel better and have more energy and such.

Answer 4

Is your mother in therapy along with the antidepressants? Antidepressants are not a long-term solution; they should be taken while in therapy in order to allow her mind to focus without being deterred by her depression. She can't expect them to solve her depression if she just takes the pills everyday and nothing else. Your mother's doctor or therapist are the only people who can increase the dosage for her so make sure she's not self-medicating. That can be very dangerous! Talk to your mother and let her know that you want her to feel better but that she needs to go about this the proper way. Some people aren't keen on therapy but it can make a major difference. If money is an issue, talk to your family doctor about therapists in the area that do sessions for free or discounted. There are lots of clinics that offer family counseling for free so maybe it would help your mother if you went with her. Let your mother and your aunt know they are both in the same boat and need the right kind of help, instead of just popping pills. Be supportive and loving but firm and clear- you are family and being safe, happy and healthy should be the family goal. Good luck!

Answer 5

Maybe you could tell her doctor and have him suggest it or you can just suggest it by comparing her to your Aunt.  

Answer 6

hey mom call your dr. up your dosage yup that easy

Answer 7

try to explain the whole thing to your mom nicely

Answer 8

Maybe you and your aunt could find some reading material, whether it be from a library or internet, to show her about the differences in anti depressant meds.  It sometimes takes people years to get on the right meds and the right dosage to help with treatment.  That way she would think it's just coming from you and not your aunt.  good luck