How do I tell my mom that I can't deal with memories of abuse?

Question

My mom has been wondering WHY I've always been so reserved and emotional and she yells at me for it. It seems like she has a certain image of how she wanted her only daughter to be and I'm not like her pictured daughter. I don't know how to tell her that remembering sexual abuse as a small child affects me now more than ever for some reason. I don't want to make her uncomfortable to the point where she starts crying because then I would feel horrible-er. So please help!!

Answer 1

you should tell her in a calm way and if she starts to cry tell her not to because that is what makes you sad as well...then you can stop suffering about your memories and she will understand you more

Answer 2

I am assumming you are a teenager and this will effect you more at this age when you are entering into stages of relationships, s*x, etc.  Talk to your mom, if she cries it is not because she is uncomfortable, she is crying because YOU are hurt.  You need to open a line of communication with her about this, you will need her in years to come to help you through other stages of your life when this bothers you again.  It took me 10 years to have a heart to heart with my mom about what happened to me as a child and she cried and I cried and it felt like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.  As much as you are hurting about this, your mom is hurting too-just in a different way.  It is uncomfortable to bring up and talk about at first, you have to just take a deep breathe and open your mouth and start talking.  Express your feelings about it and let her express her feelings too.  I never realized how hurt my mom was about my abuse until I talked to her.  I kept thinking how could she be hurt?  it didn't happen to her...but then I realized she felt guilty for not protecting me, she thought she should of known what was going on-should of been able to tell.  Talk to your mom, it never hurts to try.  If you don't get the same response with your mom as I did, then find a couns. to talk to.  It will make you feel better to just get everything off your chest.

Answer 3

honey, don't ever feel stupid, YOU DID NOT LET IT OR ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN. It was not your fault. Did you know that 7 out of 10 females are sexually assulted and abused by someone in the family. The best thing you can do is talk to someone about what happened to you. And if your mom cries. Just tell her that it happened to you and not her. She should of had that creep arrested and put in jail for what he did to you. I am 52 years old and I still remember all the times I was sexually assulted by guys that were friends of my brothers, friends of my dads or even related to me. I have a daughter who is now 24 years old and it was only a couple of years ago that she finally told me that she was assulted by my son's friend. I felt so bad because

I knew just how she felt. But what saddened me most was the fact that she thought that she couldn't tell me because she thought that I would blame her for it. For as long as I can remember I have always told her that she can talk to me about anything. Because no matter how bad she may think something is, there is always a way to resolve the problem. But I will tell you right now, that if she had told me, that guy would have been arrested and taught a lesson. It is not right for anyone to touch you in any way that you are uncomfortable. If you need someone to talk to please email me. [e-mail] . I wasn't able to help my daughter but maybe I can help you. First of all, you need to talk to your mom, just say to her mom i need to talk to you without you getting upset with me and crying because that only makes me feel worse. I need you to listen to me. If that doesn't work you can email me and I will give you my number to call me collect . ok

I wish you all the luck in the world . and may God Bless YOU

Answer 4

If you don't feel you can tell her exactly why you're struggling, just tell her that you're going through some emotional problems and that you'd really like to talk to a professional about it...was she the one that sexually abused you?

Answer 5

wow. im so sorry he did this to you. you need to tell your mom so she can get you some help. yes she probally will cry, but do not fell bad you did nothing wrong. PLEASE tell her right away. if you are afraid maybe you can tell someone else and have them tell her. good luck