How do I tell my mum that we think she is mentally ill?

Question

A lot has happened in the last 2 years, including my mum being upset because I am now going to university so will no longer support her, she needs to do this herself. But instead of being happy for me, she got very angry (she is only in her early 40s) and I have never really done anything for myself because since 17 I worked to look after her and my siblings. She got so angry that she went around tarnishing my name to family, friends and just about anyone - All of it being lies. Initially people believed her until she started doing the same to my 14 year old sister including emotionally abusing her, then she was onto my dad, then her best friend and so on. I took her back in to help her look for work, etc and tried to forgive but she carries on with the gossip and says the most hurtful things, so much that if I were underage I would report her to social services. When she calls my dad and siblings and even grandma they now run away or pretend the lines are dead. We think she may be going mad but not sure how to tell her or her doctor without her getting even more angry. She is constantly causing people within the family to fight but now we all know what she's like. Is there a way I can call her doctor and ask him if she can get counselling or work with a psychiatrist? The only thing is that her doctor would obviously probably tell her about the family's concerns but we don't really want to hurt her feelings especially because we are not sure what's going on with her.

Answer 1

First, break her legs so she can't chase you. Then yell at her for no good reason. Then, for the closing statement, say, "And you're crazy!" and then leave.

Answer 2

She needs to be happy and not so angry. She needs help!

Answer 3

There is a national foundation called NAMI--National Alliance of Mental Illness. There're amazing. Go to the link below, then click on your state.

NAMI offers all kinds of services, but they can definitely help you decide the best approach to take with your mom.

Answer 4

is there any way that your whole family could sit down with you mum and explain to her how this is affecting all of you. This way her anger/blame will not be directed solely at you. Maybe you could suggest that all of your family goes with her to a family counseling session so that all of you can understand what is going on with her.  

My mother has depression and she is prone to very bad and severe mood swings where she will yell at and insult  anyone for virtually no reason and say some really hurtful things. Talking to a professional (such as a doctor or psychiatrist) about it would probably be your best bet as they may be able to prescribe some medication that might help your mum.

Also have a look at this site www.reachout.com.au it has some really great information about depression and other mental illnesses and it also has a really great section for those who have people close to them suffering from mental illness and some great tips on what you can do to help out

Answer 5

Judging on your description of your mum, it doesnt sound like she is they type of person who respond well to counselling. More than likely she would just blame you and your family for everything, then tell everyone who will listen how horrible her family is for making her see a shrink.

Now that all of your family know what she is like, its easier to stand back and put some distance between you and her. If by soing this, she talks to other people behind your back, they will know why you have done it.

Look, everyone in their family has a person like your mum. And if people say they dont, they're lying! If you give her some space, not contact her as much as usual etc, you will be a happier person and she will realise that she cant get a rise out of you. This might just be the thing for her to realise how she is treating those around her.

Im not saying cut all ties with her, but you know, get out of the house for a while, do things on your own etc. She'll get the hint. Dont be rude to her though, but just be short and to the point when you talk to her. She may get cranky and say things like "what arent you talking to me now?" or whatever but just smile and say "of course I am" and leave the room.

Good luck with it. I think whatever you choose to do, you have to stick with it though.