How do I tell my parents that I am g*y?

Question

Its not like I have done this before.

My family is full of "Religious" people that do not like nor agree with homosexuality. They all think that it is a choice & that "Jesus can cure anything"

I am not religious at all.

Answer 1

As this is an open question I feel free to say what I think ....homosexuality is not a normal thought or a normal life style it is in fact a distorted view of sexual behavior in both male and female....this view is held in the psych professions if not overly then certainly in covert thought ...I know this is not what much of the public thinks however this is still a fact, homosexuality is a maladjusted mental condition generated by the mind first ...sure tell your parents ....and receive professional  help ....religion has nothing to do with it ..

Answer 2

Just tell them.  It's not like you can change your sexuality for them.  Everybody is different, just make sure they know it's not a phase.  If they don't like it, that's their problem.

Answer 3

You could always write them a letter. Tell them you feel like they deserve to know and you hope they can love you through this decision or choice in your life....

Answer 4

I would say that if they are that willing to judge g*y people then they are going against their own doctrine.  Jesus said that the two most important things to do in life are to put God first and love everyone unconditionally.  He did not say to judge them, or shun them because of the way they are.  And really, God made g*y people too, so your parents have no room to judge you.

I does seem that they have bitten on the form of christianity that is meant to simply control the masses in a sort of theocratic collective mind that dictates what people can and can't do whether or not God really said anything against it just to promote their own agendas.  And by 'their own' agendas I mean that of the priests and other church leaders.  This form really has nothing to do with religion and it makes me shudder to think that this is what christianity has become.

Sorry about detracting from the question, but I really feel for you in this situation.  I think that just telling them over dinner, (but not in public) or having a family gathering in the living room is the best.  You should be in a place that makes you feel comfortable, and take a deep breath because it's gonna take a lot to courage.  I can't predict their reaction but I have heard similar reactions to this same scenario.  

I have heard of parents who freak out and completely disown their children for being sinners, some who have tried to change their children and make them straight, and those who have re-evaluated their own beliefs and realized that they really loved their children no matter what.  I hope that in your case they respond similarly to the third option.

The key element here is to be couragous enough to start the conversation in the first place, and then have the strenght to work through it.  It will definately shake things up at first, but you have to realize that it is because of their beliefs about sexuality and not about you.  You know who you are and what kind of a person you are, and they are the ones to blame if they can't get over their own issues about it and accept you for who you are.  And what you are is their child, and not something that can just be judged as wrong and cast aside as evil.  This will be a test of your courage, but it will more over be a test of their character.

I wish you the very best, and I really hope that everything works out for you.  This will definately be a milestone in your life, and I hope that you will be better for it once things are resolved.  I have confidence that you will be able to do it, all you have to do now is begin.

Sincerly, Chong Won  

Answer 5

This is really difficult, I believe that you should just come out and tell them, give them a little time but be prepared. This is not easy to hear or accept for most parents.  I hope the best for you, but make sure you have a support system of good friends to be a soft landing for you.  It may be that you have to create your family out of the ones left that support you and the friends you have in your life. I do not have a set of parents, I have a mother that does not support me and an absent father. Even though I am 37 with a daughter of my own it still hurts to not have a loving set of parents.  We all have our issues, while I don't have the g*y issue, I had my daughter early in life and chose after a few years to go it alone, my mother has befriended her father who is no longer in my daughter's life.  I look to my grandparents and an aunt and uncle for the family love I need. Familes are hard to navigate some times.  I treasure my friends and make the family I want from the ones I love.  Good luck to you and know that you'll be okay no matter what.

Answer 6

I don't know if there's an actual way to tell them. I mean, I think you'll just have to tell them in whatever way is natural for you.

Now I think you're asking this question because you're worried about their reaction and you're afraid that they may not accept you. If they are religious people who do not agree with homosexuality, there is a possiblity that they might give you the "Jesus cures all" lecture. And I really feel for you, because that lecture is...in a way, a form of rejection. Well, at least it can feel that way.

I don't know if I can tell you of a way to tell them, but you seem to know yourself very well and even if it seems difficult I think it's more important to let them know who you are....regardless of how they react.

And maybe they'll be shocked at first, but in time, if you are strong and self assured, they will begin to open up.

I know you care about your parents very much and you don't want to upset them. But being yourself and being honest with them is the best way to show them this. You're not doing anyone or yourself any good by denying or hiding who you are.

I hope this helps and I hope it works out for you.Be strong with yourself and take care.

Answer 7

Tell them that you are, plainly, just like that. Add that you cannot reverse this. Don't tack on the atheist part, because they might explode, but make sure they know this isn't reversible. Remind them that you love them, and that you hope they respect your lifestyle.

Answer 8

This is between you and your parents; everyone else has nothing to do with this.  Get them in private and tell them.  It may be something of a shock so be patient.  Explain that you're 100% sure, than you're not ashamed, not planning to get straightened out and that you'll appreciate their ongoing love and support while you finish growing up.  If they threaten or reject you, understand that they're ignorant and may need time to adjust to your reality.  Try to not judge them even if they do you.

Answer 9

This page has insight into how one might tell their judgemental Christian parents of his/her homosexuality

http://www.chopra.com/thirdjesus  

Answer 10

I just wanted to say that I think its so amazing that you know who you are.

I would stand up tall and tell your parents who you are. Say it proudly.

Sadly, If they don't approve of you. That is their choice. And something you have to be ready to deal with.  

Do you have another person in your life that is constant that you can count on for support?

In the end, I just really want to stress how great it is that you know who you are and what you want!  Don't ever forget how much courage and strength that takes.  

Answer 11

I have a lot of g*y friends, they tell me fast and short works best. Tell them you love them and you thank them for raising you so well. Tell them you never quite felt like you fit the so called normal male role and you know it is because you are normal however your  g*y. Let them know it is not something you can change, you are still the child they raised and love and you love them. This doesnt change the man they know, only changes your sexual preference. BTW Christians which I am should always remember you will be judged by the stick you judge others by. We all fall short of the glory of God. Your being g*y will not cause God to fall off his thrown, lots of g*y people have come before you. Its not about religion, which I hate, its about Gods undying love, and he still loves you. Be true to your self.Good luck!