How do I tell this to my Mum?

Question

I'm 16. My dad died 2 years ago and then my brother died a year later. I've been feeling rubbish about it for a long time and my family hasnt been the same since. I started hanging round with a bad crowd and smoked weed, now I take drugs regularly. My mum suffers depression and shes usually too wrapped up in herself to notice. I stay out late at parties and bring girls back but she doesnt seem to care.

I dont want to be like this any more, Im just taking drugs to be happy and Im not the person Im acting like. How do I tell her that Im addicted to drugs? How can she help me when shes so depressed?

Answer 1

I think the best thing would be for you to get help for yourself. You don't want your mom to go through even more after being in depression. Its good that you relized that you need to change so it shouldn't be hard at all, or maybe itd be just a little easier for you to quit. Get yourself help get into rehad or talk to your doctor to get you on medication. And once you get back on your feet help your mom out, not only did she loose her child, but she lost her love, and you mean a lot to her im sure. Once your all drug-free take her out places, so that she will feel nice. Talk to her and make her feel happy. She needs that

Goodluck to you and your mom;-)

PS: sry about your dad and brother

Answer 2

you need to help your self and not expect someone else to do it for you...yes even your mom.  Do your best to be your best and everything else will follow...GOOD LUCK!  And sorry to hear about your father.

Answer 3

help her, and she will help you.

Seek counsiling and other medical advice.

As long as you want to change and help, you can do it. Believe in yourself and you mother.

Answer 4

sweetie you have to help each other.

take yourself to the Dr's and explain all this, also tell your mom how bad things have got, and tell her you will help her if she can support you.

things have been very hard for you both but I'm sure you both know how important you are to each other and can find the strength to overcome this.

I'm sure your father and brother would be proud of you for admitting you have a problem and allowing yourself to get help.

good luck  

Answer 5

i feel so sorry for you..i think ur mom and you hav encountered a really hard time that cause ur to feel depressed..i know u love ur mom but u urself as a teenager too encounter alot of problem..the problem turn worse when money become one of the problem..and you r very confused,rite?u want to help urself but u scared that u would increase ur mom burden..

so,i think maybe u can get some help from teachers..if u tell ur mom,it may further increase her anxiety.so,if possible,dont do that first(find a suitable time,dont go thru it urself,discuss with counsellor)..get some help from school,u can tell school counsellor about it ,they may help you..or u can get to the place where drug-eater overcome their problem there(like lindsey lohan went to one,she changed alot,isnt it?)

or u may go to see psycologist(i not say that u hav mental problem,but  one advantage from it is that this professional is always deal with these     problem and they have experience.u can seek advice)

u may think that it is too bad to do so cos u r telling someone :hey,i am having drugs!!come and catch me!!..but ,no, pls dont think so..as a teenagers,they wont blame you too much,and they will mostly help u ..dont care what others think about u(it is possible that they may discriminate u,but,so what,huh?what important role they play in ur life,do u want to suffer or do u want to avoid facing it cos u hate the embarassing feeling?u choose it urself)

ask urself:"do i want to stay with drugs as my friends the rest of my life?or i want to be somebody else?"do u want a normal life and being a normal person who is able to study,marry,raising children and all that u dream?if for me,i would choose to overcome it earlier ,not until when i cant do anything..i konw it si hard to overcome those addiction,but,try imagine ur future and u will get strength from it(prove to ur dad and bro that u r able to survive in this world)...dont u feel that u r very lucky tat u r still alive,cherish those chance that ur bro and dad had miss it..good luck!!

Answer 6

dude go talk to your mom theres no one else in your family to talk to anyways so ur kinda gunna have to sorry pal. and go find a new group of friends  

Answer 7

go to see a school counsellor, if your mums not able to deal with this due to her problems then see a counsellor either at school if you have one or go to see your doctor and see a counsellor through them, you need to stop the drugs and stay away from these bad people, you need help and someone to talk to to help you through these awful last few years you've gone through.

Ive worked with a lot of young people who have been through traumatic times, and turn to drugs and unfortunately if they don't get the help early enough they end up being very addicted, withdrawn, unsociable, completely detached from society and the world outside and developing a mental health problem like psychosis or schizophrenia.

Don't waste any more time, you've made a great step by writing on here asking for help, go to your doctors and ask to see a counsellor/psychiatrist, they may also be able to get you help with your drug addiction if there is a rehab unit locally.

good luck  

Answer 8

My dad died also I understand and I am sure your mom would too so just help her and try your best with your addiction then when she get better than tell her

Answer 9

SHES UR MOM AND SHE CARES SHE DONT SEE THIS BECAUSE SHE THINKS U CAN HANDLE IT GO UP TO HER AND TELL HER U NEED HELP!!! SHE WILL ASK WHY AND TELL HER THAT U ARE ADDICTED TO DRUGS AND CANT QUIT ON UR OWN IF U REALLY WANT TO QUIT THEN GET HELP EVEN IF UR MOM IS GOING THROUGH THINGS AND UNABLE TO HELP U THEN FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL OR TAKE THE LIBERTY TO CHECK YOURSELF INTO A DRUG REHAB!!!!!! U HAVE MADE IT TO THE FIRST STEP ALREADY CONFESSION AND KNOWING THAT IT IS BAD AND UR NOT URSELF!!!! U CAN DO IT I HAVE FAITH IN YOU

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear that, i no it's going to sound harsh but your mum needs to open her eyes to whats going on around her i'm depressed and my daughter is still top priority, have you tried talking to her? you shouldn't be dealing with this by yourself at such a young age just sit her down and tell her everything including that you need her now more than ever, she will be upset about your drug use but at the same time she will help you, if you both pull together you will find it easier to grieve for your dad and brother, tell her your there for her and give it some time and things should start to get better.

i don't want to sound like a lecture but weed is a depressant and the more you smoke the worse you will get.

good luck.

Answer 11

Hi, Luke! This help is from me, and my 16 year old son who is right here by me.

Stop the drugging - you know it's wrong and that it's digging you in a hole. You are not yourself, obviously. The drugs have been running your life. You need to get into some sort of counselling or rehab program right away.

The first thing you need to do is isolate yourself from this group of people you have been hanging with, totally get yourself away from them. Find, or rediscover, real friends that you can get along and talk with - who are decent guys - and perhaps you could talk to one of their parents, either a mom or a dad, about the situation. Parents 'know' how other parents are.

If you are still finding it hard to approach your mom, then it's totally fine in a case like this to have a parent of a friend talk to her - or maybe you have a trusted teacher, or an auntie, uncle or grandparent whom you could tell the situation to.

I know you have been through a lot with the horrible deaths in your family, but don't let that continue to take away YOUR life. You are deserving of a long, happy and healthy life - yes, with joy in it, people who love you and care for you. If your mom is in a bad place and can't be there for you, make a family for yourself that isn't of 'blood' relatives - friends, and other extended family members.

I wish you luck, and here's a big HUG from me to get you started on your new journey!

Answer 12

I'm sorry to hear about everything that you and your family are going through.

I've been in a similar situation to you. When I was thirteen, my Dad died and my Mum started drinking more and more. She became an alcoholic and started beating me and my siblings. I turned to drugs and she wouldn't even care, which made me rebel even more. It was a cry out for attention, most likely. I would stay out every night and she wouldn't even ask me where I'd been. She was then diagnosed with clinical depression and became even worse than she already was. And I was addicted to heroin, even though she didn't realise/care.

Your Mum, however, is different to mine. She hasn't done anything to show you that she doesn't care. She's going through a hard time and it is easy to get wrapped up in her feelings. I think that she cares about you greatly but just can't see what's happening. You should go to your school counselor and explain your situation at home. There is a lot of support available for people in your position. Living with someone who has a mental illness isn't easy, especially when you may need help yourself. Talking to somebody about your addiction is the best idea. These people you're hanging round with clearly aren't your friends, so get rid of them and find someone who really cares. It's great that you're admitting you have a problem, now you need to get help for it. You can visit your GP and explain the problems you are having. They will then be able to offer you advice and support on the situation and you might benefit from seeing a psychiatrist.

There are people who want to help - including your Mum. I think it's great that you've realised this isn't how it should be and I wish you all the best.

Answer 13

go to a rehab talk to your mother if you don't to something now your life will be ruined DRUGS KILL U!!!

Answer 14

As far as I can see, you know yourself that whatever you are doing is no good for anyone. Probably your mom needs even more help and support that you do. But I don't want to judge. First thing is to help yourself. There are so many free institutions that will take care of you, especially, because your are still so young. YOur GP might be the first person to go to. He/she will give you numbers and addresses to go to , where you can get help for you and your mom. There is seriously no need to be scared of to go to a GP. They are there and paid by the government to help you. They will deal this kind of issues with high confidentiality. Otherwise, if you are someone who goes to school or church, ask them they will definitely to be able to help you/ your mom.

Don't give up! Get someone who will stand next to you and help you out of you present situation! I wish you good luck and strength!!

Answer 15

if you know what you are doing is bad, then stop doing it...i mean...somehow you want me to feel pity for you? Oh please...everyone has his/her own problems...take me for an example, my dad killed my L*****n mother, and he died in the war 3 months later. they all died right in front of my eyes. without any parents or relatives to take me in i was enlisted to the military as a 13 years old kid. (no i wasn't born in the united states the easy going country where everyone complains about a lot of trivial matters).

Answer 16

First sorry to hear about your dad and brother, what seems to come out from your question is that you and your mum need to support each other, you´ve both lost people close to you so on the basis of that alone you should start to be there for one another, depression is a very hard thing to deal with, your gonna need outside help for that. I´m an ex substance misuse and mentor to youth who were your age and a lot younger, the things you say you are now doing i.e smoking weed regular, hanging out with a bad crowd etc. These are all familiar signs of someone who is starting to rebel and is pissed off and is a good candidate for getting caught up in the drug circle, the important part of your question is when you say you don't want to be like that any more and you recognise your not the person you act like, those are two excellent signs that tell me you have a great chance of getting out of this mess. First thing you gotta realise is not how can your mum help you but how can you help your mum and as a result help yourself? you cant expose your drug taking to your mum while she is suffering depression she will not be in a position to help and may add to her depression. You obviously feel you need to communicate how you feel and what your doing so i would find someone outside the family preferable someone connected to drug counselling field, i know exactly how you feel and why your dealing with it in the way you are, your on self destruct mode at the moment, but from the moment YOU wake up everything starts with choice your in control of that, so whats it gonna be? take back control and help your mom that's where your gonna help you, i believe you love your mum but its not coming back so you´ve got to help her find it again, i´ve been where you are its hard work and there's loads of times you think Fxxx this go smoke some puff or get pissed and that's where things get complicated, ain't the way, trust me you need to talk about how you feel to someone clued in, you lost your dad and brother what would they want you to do? i think you and your mum need to express how you feel about that its what i had to do with mine and it was deep a lot came out and it was hard but the result is were closer than ever before and the bottom line is she´s my mum and i´ll be there for her. Remember mate help her and you´ll be alright show her how to care by caring for HER, penetrate her depression by being stronger than it. Wish loads of luck but i feel you´ll be ok. Everything starts with choice, no what i´m saying?  

Answer 17

Call narcotics anyomous.

Answer 18

All you can do is sit down and talk with her - tell her everything especially that you don't want to life your life the way you are, that you are unhappy. She's still your mum and it's important you communicate with her, it will be hard, but you'll be able to sort things out together.

You really have had a huge amount to deal with in such a short space of time so it's no wonder you and your Mum are unhappy.

You doctor can refer you to a councellor (free of charge) and you might find that really helpful.

If not below is a really helpful site where you can talk anonymously to people that may have had a similar experience to you. They may be able to give advice or even point you in the right direction for help.

Either way it's good that you have realised that drugs aren't going to make you happy, you've made the first step.

Answer 19

I think you just need to tell her you think you need help. I think opening up and talking to her about it might make her realize she is not the only one going through the pain and suffering. I'm not sure you need to tell her that you have a drug problem, just tell her how unhappy you are, and that you can see yourself going down the wrong road. If you were addicted to drugs, you would not be able to tell yourself that-most addicts don't know they are. You are just using the drugs to numb the pain you have.

I suggest therapy, perhaps for both of you together.  

Answer 20

You should just sit down with her and tell her you need her help. And let her know that you realize what she is going threw too. Maybe you both need to see some professional help, when she sees that you are hurting and in trouble she will start helping herself in order to help you.

It sounds like you are a smart teenager to realize you have a problem and want to get help. It might take your mom a little while, but maybe there is another adult you can talk to and help you get on the right road. Also you might try going to a church and talking to a pastor or prie

st. Good Luck!

Answer 21

well i am glad to hear that you recogonize youhave a problem . now sit your mom down and tell her what you have told us . yes she might get mad , but remind her that you are asking for help . if she doesnt hel b/c of her depression then go find a family memeber that will . and also help her. good luck !

Answer 22

IM NOT REALLY SURE BUT I JUST LOST A FREIND LAST SUNDAY NIGHT TO PARTYING EXTRA HARD SO I REALLY HOPE U SLOW DOWN EVEN IF YOUR ONLY DOING THAT BECAUSE UR DEPRESSED. IM 16 AND MY FRIEND WAS 16 TOO, IT WAS HER B-DAY WEEKEND WHEN SHE DIED. SO U NEED TO KEEP OTHER THINGS IN CONSIDERATION. CUZ ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!

YOU NEED TO JUST SIT DOWN AND HAVE A LONG TLAK WITH YOUR MOM, START OUT SLOW IF YOU NEED TO BUT I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FMAILY GET WELL!

BEST WISHES... YOUR IN MY PRAYERS!

Answer 23

Tell her you need to see a doctor and while you are there, ask the doctor for help and advice.  I'm sure they would help you explain the situation to your mother, especially when they know your history.

Good luck - and this might be the thing that makes her snap out of her depression.  I hope so, anyway.  But get someone's help, a professional.

Answer 24

Be honest with her.  She will respect that you are asking for help.  Tell her that you don't want to be like this any more and that you just want to be happy.  Tell her that you are coming to her because you are in trouble and you need help.  Tell her you are sorry and that you need her to help you.

You both have been through a lot and she won't want to lose you too, she will come around and you will get your help.  Just be honest with her.

You could also write her a letter.  Tell her everything that you need to tell her - just be sure that you are home when she reads the letter.  She will freak out if you are not home when she reads a letter about you out doing drugs.

Good luck!