How do I wean my son?

Question

My son is almost 18 months and still breastfeeds at night before he goes to sleep. He sleeps in bed with me and sometimes wakes up during the night and wants to latch on again until he falls back asleep. So many things in our life has changed, including moving in with my parents and me going back to work with him in daycare so I wanted to wait until everything settled down. I am just really unsure about what to do because I know that he is breastfeeding out of comfort. What do I do? He is so independent and developmentally ahead but this is the one thing that neither of us seem to be able to let go of. Can anyone give me some good advice?

Answer 1

I had the same problem. I weaned my daughter at 11 months. slowly introduce the bottle at night. Make the bottle warm and put enough milk so that he fills himself and doesn't suck air (because when you remove the bottle he will cry). After a while he will forget about the breast.

Three weeks after I did this I tested my daughter by introducing the breast and she was like, "I dont want that mommy." :-)

Answer 2

If you are okay nursing him, its okay to keep going for awhile. Especially now when things have changed in your lives and there might new stress. It is very comforting for him to nurse. Ditto on the sleeping in bed with you-- now is not the time to throw more changes into the mix. Ease into it.

I read the book The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning...and that helped. You are supposed to gradually take away one nursing session away at a time.

It is FINE to sleep with him and its FINE to nurse him now. If it were me I would wait-- do some research on it and then start weaning him when you are ready.  

Answer 3

First I would suggest that you break him of his sleeping with you now.  When he gets used to that the need to breastfeed will not be there for him in the middle of the night because you won't be there to "latch" onto.   Secondly...just stop breastfeeding.  Give him a sippy cup of water if he really wants something to drink.  My daughter is 13 months old and I had to stop breastfeeding because I just found out I was pregnant again and didn't want to continue anymore.  (I need a break before the next one)  I quit doing it in the morning, and then a few weeks later I quit doing it at night as well.  She only cried once and now really doesn't care.  I'm suggesting you give him water at night because you don't want to put him to bed with milk and let it rot his teeth (it would ruin the brushing)......

Anyway, that is my suggestion.  It's easier said than done....but if you really want him to be more independant he's got to stop sleeping with you and you have to quit the night time feedings.  

Best of luck and God bless.  

Answer 4

Hi, I just pulled up the home page and saw your question.  I'm a single mom of a boy, 27 months, and I'm still nursing him.  He nurses in the morning when he wakes, and I put him to sleep for naps and at night nursing.  We also went through some very trying times and a move when he was a year and a half and my therapist said to wait on the weaning.  A lot of mom's nurse their children well into the toddler years.  Please, don't let other people persuade you to do something you don't want to do, because of their judgements.  My ex and even some friends can't believe I'm still breastfeeding my son.  Months ago, I started lying to my ex that I wasn't.  It's none of his business.  Do what feels right for you.  

I love nursing my son and sometimes he sleeps with me too.  He will be my only child and there is nothing more sacred and special between a mother and child.  The bonding and the health benefits for you and for your child are wonderful.   I will fall asleep with my son in the afternoons for 3 hours.  He'll sleep and nurse the entire time.  It puts me to sleep too.

I have stopped nursing in public,but at times he wants to, I just whisper in his ear, "No, not now , we'll ne ne when we get home".  His word for it is, Ne Ne.  My ex has no clue what that is.  Here recently I have told my son that we aren't snacking any more throughout the day either.  He likes to "check in" all day and nurse several times a day for about 30 seconds.  So, now it's down to nursing just before nap and bedtime and mornings.  I've heard it best to do the weaning gradually.  I'm also shortening the duration, even if we do this for several more months.  Eventually, we will gradually and slowly stop.  I don't want it to be emotionally upsetting to him.  

Check with your local La Leche group or other similar groups in your area.  They will have toddler meetings.  It's a great place to go to get support with other women who are also nursing their toddlers.  They can give you support and ideas on weaning as well.

Hope this helps, best of luck to you.

Answer 5

I told my girls when the sun is asleep, mommy is asleep and they couldn't nurse until daylight (which they didn't do, so it never was an issue) so then they were only nursing right before bed.  The unhappiness really wasn't as much as I expected, and only lasted a few nights.  Then once they really wanted a bid (toddler) bed instead of crib, we just changed the bedtime routine so it didn't include nursing.

Answer 6

If you don't have to then you don't have to.  You've made it this far and kids eventually grow out of it.  If its that important to you then you can give him a new object of comfort like a teddy bear or something.  No matter what its beneficial for his health but you've made it so far.  Congrats on your accomplishment.

Answer 7

I breast feed my son until he was 15 months.  Like you, it was only at nighttime.  For me, it was just making that decision and sticking to it.  From then on when he woke up in the middle of the night I would rock him back to sleep.  I also used other things to comfort him.  Things that was also a comfort before we stopped nursing.  For example, he loved (and still does) to hold on the my hair.  So I would rock him and he would hold on to my hair.  Sounds weird but worked like a charm!! In the end I don't think he need it as much as I thought he did.  He didn't have much trouble at all and I am sure your baby won't either.    But I think after a couple rough nights he'll get the hang of it.  

Something else I did was started to ween him off the nighttime feedings.  I would feed him only at bedtime and once or twice during the night if he woke up.  After a few days I cut back a little more.  Maybe at bedtime and once through the night.  Then eventually only at bedtime.  

But of course if neither of you is ready then wait till you are.  

Hope this helps.