How do I word a rehearsal dinner invitation from myself and my ex-wife

Question

The wedding is formal and there are 90 people that will need to be invited to the rehearsal dinner

Answer 1

Use both of your full names on separate lines.

Mr. Father of the Bride

              and

Ms/Mrs. Mother of the Bride

request the honour of your presence...

Answer 2

I would say Mr John Doe and Mrs Samantha Connor, the parents of Jonathan Doe, wish to invite you to the rehearsal dinner.  

I wouldn't bother with step parents or anything.  Just both your names.  And if you happen to both still have the same last name you could put your names but separate.  John Doe and Samantha Doe would like to invite you.  Instead of Mr and Mrs John Doe.  That way it is obvious you are not one item but you are also both his parents.

Answer 3

You could say, "Your full name," and "Your ex's full name," cordially invite you to the wedding rehearsal dinner in honor of their daughter (or son), "your child's name" and "fiance or fiancee's name"  on such and such a date.

Answer 4

Under the most rigid standards of traditional etiquette, you should not be co-hosting events with a lady to whom are are not married. Entertaining requires any number of arbitrary decisions of style, fashion and judgement on which the hosts need to be in agreement: one must imagine that you and your ex-wife must have one or two differences in style or judgement, or you wouldn't be "ex-".

So the preferred course of action by a stickler for traditional etiquette would be for your wife (with her current husband, if she has one) to host the dinner. If she's unmarried and indigent you can always surreptitiously provide her with the necessary funds to do so. If she cannot or will not act as hostess, then you and your current wife should host the dinner, or if you are unmarried you might ask a sister or aunt to act on your behalf as your hostess.

But few people nowadays are going to let considerations like traditional form prevent them from doing what they had planned to do anyway. So word it as for any formal invitation, but put your and your ex-wife's name on separate lines to visually suggest your separateness:

Mr John Smith

and

Mrs Maidenname Smith

request the pleasure of your company at the rehearsal dinner for the wedding of their son

Mr John Smith Junior

to

Miss Jane Jones

on date at location at time

And good luck to you!

Answer 5

Both of the first two answers are excellent.  Yes, just use both your current names, with titles IF you prefer [Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, etc].  The third answer above is not well thought-out -- this is not the 19th century.

Though you're no longer married, you're still the parents of the bride or groom.  And if you're both hosting the event, your names should be on the invitation -- it's surely no secret that you're giving the kid away.  :-)