How do I word my wedding invitations?

Question

Ok my parents are paying for the majority of the wedding (They are only not paying for 2 things). They even paid for my gifts to my bridesmaids. So obviously we are putting them on the invitations. One of the things they didn't pay for was the photographer because my fiancé’s father and stepmother wanted to pay for something and they are also hosting the rehearsal dinner. The second thing is the videoographer, my fiancés mother offered to do that. However she never came through, went months without paying and we had no idea that was going on until my fiancé and I got a call from them saying if someone didn't start paying they wouldn't be working our wedding. So my fiancé and I are paying. His mom keeps saying she wants to do something, but never does finalize the offer with a payment. Finally we told her if she wanted to do anything she can pay us back for the videographer, this way if she doesn't pay she's not messing anyone else’s payments up (We're not counting on getting anything). Anyway the point is we want to include my fiancés father and stepmother on the invitation. I'd feel bad not including them since they've helped out. I know his mother would be upset if we didn't put her on the invitation also, but in the same respect it isn't fair to include her when other people are helping out. Not only monetarily, but also they've all helped me plan things and as much as his mom claims she wants to be involved she turns down every chance I give her. Like my fiancé and I went out to dinner with my parents his & dad and step mom to the place where we're having the reception. They got to see the hall and we all decided on a menu and booked everything together She and her husband were invited, and they were supposed to come but canceled last minute as usual... So I don't know if there is a proper way to word these invites so no one's feelings are hurt and the correct people get the credit they deserve.

Answer 1

As a general rule of etiquette, the parents paying for the wedding are the ones issuing the invitation. It sounds like your parents are paying for the wedding, right?  Your fiancees family is helping with the rehearsal and photographer but they are not paying for the wedding.  So, your parents names should be added to the invitations.  

Answer 2

I can see how complicated this is but I think I would stick with tradition and simply use your parents names. At most weddings nowadays the Groom's parents help, and sometimes help financially, but only the bride's parents are named as hosts. By simply sticking with tradition no one's felings should be hurt.

Answer 3

There is a book called "The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day" by Mindy Weiss that has all types of sample wording. Mindy is one of the most famous celebrity wedding planners in America. She planned the wedding of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Heidi Klum and Seal, and so many more. This book is top notch.

You can find it online at www.amazon.com or at www.barnesandnoble.com or go to any Barnes and Noble to purchase it. It should retail about $19.95 depending on your location.

Answer 4

Since when has it become the custom that your name is on the invitation because you coughed up some money for the wedding.  

The invitation should read that the parents are inviting people to the wedding of their children.  No one cares who is paying for the whole affair, that is your problem.  His mom gave birth to him, that entitles her to be on the invitation.  Put every ones name on the invitation.

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry too much about who is paying.

Do it the traditional way of

bride's parents names

would like to invite you to the marriage of their daughter xx, to xx,

the son of dad & step-mom and mom & step-dad.

Normally the mom should be listed first but since you aren't even sure if you want her on there, maybe you should list the groom's dad first, and then the mom. That should get a point across there in itself, but still include her.  

Answer 6

Mr. and Mrs. (your parent's names....as YOU decide who to name) and Mr. and Mrs. (HIS parent's names) joyfully (or another adjective) request the honor of your presence (or 'honor of your company') at the marriage of their daughter (your name) to "Mr. X" (his name).

You can word it the way you would like, and the invite used to come from the bride's parents to all, but lately (and more appropriately ) it comes from both sets of parents or whomever you choose. It's your day...do it your way!

Answer 7

It doesn't matter who is paying, it's simply a matter of respect to include all parents' names on the invitation, to show the relationship.

Lisa Marie,

daughter of Frank and Susan Williams,

and

Mark Henry,

son of George (Beth) Green and Mary Smith,

request the honour of your presence.....

You put the step mom's first name in brackets with the dad's, then the mom's name at the end (wasn't sure whether she changed her surname if not, if she didn't, then list her as Mary Green).

Good luck!

Answer 8

there is a good website for invitations at http://www.eventphotocards.com

Answer 9

Maybe this website can help you

versethis.com

Answer 10

An invitation is not a sponsorship brochure, and is intended for one purpose only: to let your guests know what they need to know. And what they need to know is:

WHO is inviting people (your parents, in this case)

WHOM they are inviting

to WHAT

WHEN, and

WHERE

(and if necessary, HOW the guests are to respond).

So you would write

Mr and Mrs Your Parents

request the honour of the presence of

<blank line for you to write in "Mr and Mrs Guest">

at the wedding of their daughter

Amie Middlename

to

Mr Grooms Name

at <venue> on <date> at <time> o'clock

If you're using inner envelopes, you're allowed to leave off the blank line and just write "the honour of your presence at" instead.

Then if you feel you need the equivalent of a sponsorship brochure in order to prevent hurt feelings, you add special thanks to each of your contributors in your wedding programme. That way you will avoid confusing the guests, who really don't care all that much about whether you have a videographer and photographer or not as long as they don't have to wait too long for their tea while you're having pictures taken, and the videographer doesn't spend the whole ceremony standing right in front of them.

Answer 11

You may feel that some parts of the family aren't pulling through but even those who havn't pulled their weight and may be making you angry are going to feel like they should be recongnized too.  We kind of had a similar problem so all we did was""(grooms name) and (brides name) together with our parents would like to invit you...." that way everyone's included, this isn't the time to start any fights in the family or for anyone to have hard feelings, I would just accept what has happened and enjoy your day!!