How do I wrangle a lunatic?

Question

There is a lunatic running free on my street, I know he is a lunatic because he is wearing an orange shirt that says "PROPERTY OF COUNTY ASYLUM" on the back.

He is knocking over garbage bins, eating fresh dog mess, yelling profanity, kicking my tires, chasing cats, and in general just running amok. Animal control won't do anything about it. How do I wrangle a lunatic?

Answer 1

You need a blow gun with a poison tipped dart. Here, use mine. But I'll need it back in time for work tomorrow.

Answer 2

never wrangle lunatic lest you become dewrangled yourself

Answer 3

If he is trying to sell copies of "An Inconvenient Truth," I know who it is.

Just point a camera at him and he will stop running around. He'll just stand, face the camera, and smile.

Answer 4

lol you are just SOOO funny!! x

Answer 5

is he Bush? oh sorry, i thought it was a riddle. LoL

Answer 6

Fire, and lots of it! Or failing that just call the police, I'm sure they're better equipped to deal with him than you.

Answer 7

How can you see what is written on your back?

Oh I see you are wearing it back to front again.

Now go drink a herbal tea sweetie and try the breathing in and out, in and out SLOWLY d**n YOU in and out, in and out, in and out ROFL

Answer 8

Report a missing inmate at the local county asylum.  If that doesn't generate action, then simply taser the lunatic the next time it is in the neighborhood.  Generally, one dose of taser zap should be enough to keep him out of your neighborhood and let him be someone else's problem.

Answer 9

I think I've seen this lunatic.  He is ugly and dressed like a woman.

Answer 10

Rest assured his minority lifestyle is fully supported, protected and funded by your local authority

Perhaps you may like to join his group or make a donation?