How do YOU feel about adoption reform?

Question

I'm just curious to know individual opinions from Adoptive Parents, First Parents, AND Adoptees here.

If you could change anything having to do with Adoption Laws and Policies, what would it be? (Assuming that banning adoption outright is not an option)

Answer 1

1. End discrimination of adopted citizens by reinstating the right to access one's own birth record, whether one is adopted or not.  This should occur whether falsification of records continues or not.  Although I would prefer to see the end of falsification of records.

2.  End pre-birth matching.  It has been the cause of many problems, including coercion and sometimes fraud.  Allow mothers to choose to parent or relinquish without any expectations over their heads.

3.  I agree with SLY about the medical information of first parents, too.  This is something I have stated here before.  Medical information is protected by HIPPA laws.  That should not change simply because someone's relinquished child got adopted.  No other citizen has the right to receive someone else's medical information.  As an adopted citizen, I want the same rights as everyone else -- no more and no less.  That means that I would need to access family medical history the same way other people do.  It also means that I would be able to have my own birth record.

Answer 2

Dear Zuko,

What I would change....hmmmm...here's what comes off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll leave something off the list!

*Open records and equal access for adopted persons

*Greater effort at preserving natural families with family placements encouraged as the first alternative after parenting by the original parents

*Honest and complete information and counseling pre- and post-adoption for FPs and APs

*Enforceable open adoptions (or better yet, co/shared parenting arrangements)

*Greater waiting periods after birth for irrevocable consent (Newborn adoption occurring only after a fair and appropriate recovery time, no pre-birth matching through agencies, better explanation of risk to PAPs.)

*Legal representation REQUIRED for ALL parties (PAPs, FPs & Child)

*That every adoption be addressed properly as a unique and individual situation

I started to add some things about foster care but that is such a mess it needs it's own Q & A...

Anyway, those would be a start. If we see at even one or two of these changes in my lifetime, I will be happy and will feel as though my voice (or those of so many others) has not been sounded in vain!

Answer 3

This was my answer to a previous question:

Sorry I am not part of the triad, so I know you didn't really ask for my opinion, but here it is anyways...sorry

I would like some MAJOR reform done but I don't want to see it outlawed. No advertising, no prebirth matching, no private adoptions, adoption shouldn't be encouraged. I don't think the PAP's have any buisness paying for pregnancy related items, nor should they be in the delivery room (goingback to pre birth matching). I do not think ANY plans for adoption should be made untill after the birth. You should not be able to sign the TPR untill at least a year after the birth, and a psychiatric evaluation to rule out PPD, also at least 3 months of counciling should be required before relinquishment to help the mother understand the emotional consequenses of doing so for both mother AND child. After the TPR has been signed, there should be a revoktion periodof at least another year. Open adoptions should be legally enforcable. There should be no such thing as sealed records, I do not think that the government should give ANY money to help wih adoption (unless it is outof foster care), but instead redirect those funds to families that kept their children and need assistance financially. Programs like Big Brothers and Big Sisters should be filled to the brim with infertile couples who want to help kids and be a positive role model for them. I hate the term "birthmother" or "birth" anything, as well as "biological" or "blood". I prefer the term "natural" some prefer the term "first". Either one works

TAKE THE MONEY OUT OFADOPTION

I would like to see more "permanent legal gaurdianships" take the place of adoptions

Yes, Having my son totally changed my perspective on adoption (as well as coming on here). Before I had my son, I didn't understand the bond between a mother and child. It IS sacred, and people think that it is a GOOD thing to break that?!?!?!?!?! It is not something to be taken lightly. It has been sad ountless times and I will say it again, adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You won't always be young, single, poor, uneducated... whatever.

I do advocate adoption from foster care

Answer 4

How IS adoption a problem?

haha i got thumbs down for a mis-communication...nice

right i got it now i didnt understand the question... the () threw me off...

in my opinion you cant pin point on thing that needs to be changed without effecting another. i think the adoption system is majorly screwed up...i would know becuase my grandmother was a faster parent for 10 years (great woman) and ive seen babies go into families who were worse off than the ones that put them up for adoption and ive seen babies go back to their parents who clearly should never have been able to have children in the first place!

both my brother and i were adopted. neither of us were related tho. i had an open adoption and my birth-mother was able to contact me through out the years which she never chose to until i turned 17... which was very confusing to me. turns out she has a 23 year old son a 21 year old son and a 16 year old son...im 19 and a girl...dono y that mattered or if it did. ive gone through alot of emotional problems dealing with those facts. to tell you the truth i could rant on and on about the legal system but i think ill stop... but yes i think there is a WHOLE lot that needs to change! but i would never regret the fact that i am adopted or want adoption to be banned. for some it is a blessing.

Answer 5

Everyone talks about the long process of adoption through foster care and the wait time and the frequent visits and meetings, etc.

Personally, I am completely opposite. Regardless of  my wonderful, outstanding character (lol) and my beautiful home and friends and family and my spotlessly clean record--I am still a stranger bringing a child into my home. I can't believe that they will give me a child b/c I passed a background check and b/c my friends said nice things about me...after only 14 hours of 'training' on how to be an adoptive parent. I cannot believe they will let me take this child anywhere in the country without asking them first. It is annoying that people are coming to my house 2-3 times per month....but it is shocking that they tell me weeks in advance when they will come; they spend 30 minutes in my house and ask about stupid things, then it's off to the next house...monthly visit over. It is stunning. While I am not a bad person and I think most foster to adopt parents are good people, and most adoptive parents in general, I still think that there needs to be more oversight, more certainty that I am raising this child appropriately. I think 'dropping by' is only appropriate when I have a child in my care that is not legally MY child.

What I like about foster care--at least in our state--is that even though the parents rights have been terminated, I still must continue to meet with social workers monthly for a full year before the adoption is completed...so that they can verify that my child appears to be developing normally and bonding with us. I like that and I wish that every agency and every adoptive parent was--for a short amount of time--required to have home visits with agency workers.

Also, I think that every person who is 18 or older who was born in the US should have complete access to their original birth certificates and unedited medical records.

Answer 6

Mine and my brother's were closed adoptions. I was easily able to find my birth parents due to mishandling of paperwork by the lawyer who handled my adoption. My brother has no information about his birth family.

In a closed adoption, I can respect the birth parents wishes to remain anonymous, however there are certain aspects of an adoptee's history that should be required to be open to them, and not just their medical history.

Just knowing your birth parents hair color, eye color, ancestry, as well as their hobbies and interests gives an adoptee a greater insight as to where they came from. Many adoptees feel lost and confused just because they don't know the circumstances behind their adoption. I think my brother would, at least, feel better knowing some of these things. Right now he knows nothing.

Answer 7

The first, and I think the most important single thing, is to stop the falsification of vital records.  Only in adoption is the true vital record falsified and and a counterfeit birth certificate issued in its place.    I would add that the adopted person should certainly receive their birth certificate, but it should be a True Certificate of Live Birth that is amended like others Vital Records, with the original information and the amendments attached to it.  

Second, insure that the natural mother receives copies of everything with her name on it.  Most EMS mothers have still not received their own medical and social histories from that time. If medical history is important to adopted adults, clearly it is equally or more important to the person to whom it rightfully belongs, according to law.  And, very few have copies of one of the most important document that they have ever signed, the Surrender.  

I would further state that after the adopted person reaches adulthood, the ap's no longer have a right to any information about the mother.  It is a violation of the mother's privacy that the other people are allowed access to her information.  

Lastly, if an adopted adult is interested in his mother's medical information he should ask his mother.  No one has the right to another person's medical or psychological information or history, according the the HIPAA Laws of the United States.  The adopted adult should get that information from the source just as a raised child would do.  A  mother's medical history is just that...HER medical history.

Answer 8

Im tired of seeing the children put back into the drug infested abusive and s*x offenders homes just because they are the bio parents we tell women all the time when they get beat by their partner to leave once a abuser always well why is this not true with the children in the system we are failing them and they are paying the price for it i find this very sad