How do adopt my niece that's been in foster care for 2 yrs?

Question

i'm a stay at home mother of 5 boys married to a very busy firefighter in california. I recently found out i had a brother that i never knew about. He told me he ahd 4 children in foster care. he and his wife has lost all rights and they are up for adoption. Due to the fact i already have 5 very active boys, it is not possible for me to take all four. It is possible for me to take one. She is 2 1/2 and would fit perfectly in our family, she would have the best possible life i could give her. Is it wrong to split them up? What are my rights as her aunt? They cps lady is giving me the run around. How do i get this started?

Answer 1

contact that foster home

Answer 2

I know you are meaning well but to some extent I agree with  Canada, what you need to find out if they actually going to be split up regardless of who takes them .If that is the case then go to the authorities and explain that you can take the little one . Is there no way you could take them all , you would get lots of support emotionally and financially . You would get enough financial help so you can  afford to get  a mothers help .good luck

edit

All the children have got is each other , how would they feel if just one is chosen its not going to do their confidence any good.

Answer 3

Yes I think you should adopt her definatly, well there isnt really much option about splitting them up is there.

Answer 4

Its sad to split them up but also they can either remain in foster care or they will eventually be split up...with her being so young she will likely be the first to go.  So if you dont do it then someone probably will.  Just remember they only have each other.  The best thing to do is to talk to your brother about getting his life on track so he can get those kids back and they can have a wonderful family and not be split up....I dont know the entire situation but if thats not possible then you should consider adopting the little girl.  Im sure those 5 boys would be great brothers to her!  I dont know how to go about doing this but maybe you should start by getting a lawyer and find out what your rights are as next of kin?

Answer 5

You really should adopt all four.  I know you've already got 5 boys, and I doubt they would let you have all of them, but you should try.  I don't know what state you live in.  Talk to CPS.  You don't necessarily need to talk to your nieces social worker to get information on how to get the ball rolling.  Just ask the front desk lady for information on how to begin.

Be prepared for this to take a VERY long time.  My cousin adopts children.  It can take anywhere from a year to several years, FYI.  If the girl is in a bad situation, then be prepared for her to be behind developmentally.

Answer 6

YES, IT IS WRONG. These poor kids only have each other - their mom and dad lost them and now you want to tear off another piece of their family? Don't be selfish - the path to h**l is paved with good intentions.

Answer 7

It would be nice if they could all be together but that is not always the case. Since there are 4 it be nice if they can’t keep them all together that they could at least place 2 and 2.  How old are the other three kids?

You could/should try to take all 4 I realize that you have 5 active boys but I feel thats sort of irrelevant there was a couple on my news a few years ago they had 6 or 7 adopted children and then went on to adopt a sibling group of 8. So they ended up with 14 or 15 kids ranging in age from 11months to 17 years old. One of the reasons they adopted this sibling group was to keep them together because they knew the chances of anyone adopting them all together would be slim. If this couple was willing to do this for kids not even genetically related to them surely you can bend a little for your blood nieces and nephews.

Lillie is right If you are going to take only 1 surely take one that will have a harder chance to be placed. A 2 ½ year old child is  going to have a higher chance of being adopted.

Answer 8

Well, you would need to complete all of the necessary paperwork and homestudy...then they may or may not accept you as possible candidates. However, I would probably seek out ways to be involved in their lives without splitting them up. Most CPS workers do not want to split the children up...and I think it is a bad idea in most cases. However, what you could do is see if other family members might be interested....you could ask to see them or visit with them in foster care. You could ask if there was anything you could provide for them/their foster family. You could offer to help out with expenses involving taking care of 4 children. If you do decide to adopt her and are approved, the best thing you can do for her is to keep her in contact with her siblings and to keep the communication open between you and her daddy and mommy.

EDIT: I agree with Lillie to some extent. Technically, if you are wanting to help and there is a high probability of them not getting adopted or getting separated, the best choice would be to take the oldest child--the one who is least likely to get adopted otherwise. In the end, adoption isn't about who would fit perfectly in your family, but who is most in need of a home.

Answer 9

As a former foster care case worker (and currently a foster parent)  I can tell you exactly why you are getting 'the run around"  first off the children are probably in a home that wants to adopt them and moving any or all of the children would uproot them yet again.  also it is an issue that you only want one.  they would only do that if it was impossible to place them together or it was in the childrens best interest (such as one child is violent and needs to be placed in a home with no other children).  

If you had been around when the children came into care they would have considered you as a placement option but they dont just uproot children from their home (even if it is a foster home) to give them to a relative (that they have never met to boot) that comes out of the woodwork.

IF you want a little girl.  take foster classes and request a little girl be placed with you.  There is nothing wrong with wanting a little girl but there is something wrong with taking one sib of a group of 4 unless its the best option for all of the children.

Answer 10

Oh, how terribly sad for those kids!  Please, please tell me you didn't just pick the cutest, youngest of the four and leave the rest out to dry?  How would she feel about that later in life?

Is anyone in your family able to take the other three?  I do understand that you already have five children, and that a total of nine would be out of the question...but if there's ANYTHING you can do to help keep these kids connected, that would be the best option.  And really, I'm not trying to be rude, but if you did just pick the youngest, cutest of the four, please just don't.  Someone else will adopt her, I promise.  She's not going to get left in foster care until she ages out, there are too many pap's adopting through foster care for that to happen.  It would mess her up beyond belief (and the other kids, too) to know that she was only adopted because she was the youngest or cutest.

Answer 11

You only want the girl because you have 5 boys and still didnt get a baby girl. I bet that's why you got pregnant so many times (cause you were trying for girl)

Well, you're selfish (lets just be honest here). A little girl will have no problem getting adopted. why dont you adopted one of your brothers sons (since you have one more opening) little boys have a harder time finding a home than girls... I'm sure those kids are going to get split up anyways. Lets face it, if they dont find a home soon, they'll get too old and once they reach a certain age they'll really have a hard to getting adopted

Answer 12

Why the 2 1/2 year old...because she's the youngest and the cutest?

Keep them together or don't do it at all.  Why did your brother lose his rights?  Is there any way possible you can help them get their family back?  Is there anyone else in your family who can take all the kids and keep them together?

Answer 13

first off you have NO rights...you're only the aunt. next off, I'd take all 4 to keep them together, or NONE at all...you have to adopt like all adoptions...the long and winding road way...there is NO quick fix for this and it's gonna be expensive. See a lawyer...

Answer 14

If at all possible - these kids need to stay together.

I may be getting your question wrong - but it seems very much about you - and what you want - and not about the best interests of the children.

You seem in a hurry to get the baby girl (perhaps because you've always dreamed of having a girl) - instead of trying to help out the whole family.

Children - if at all possible - should be kept together.

They've lost their parents - for crying out loud - they at least deserve to grow up together.