How do children react if you have a baby with your new spouse ?

Question

When people who have a child divorce and then get married to someone else and have a baby with that person. How do children of the first marriage react to this ? Does it hurt them to see their half brother/sister happily living with both parents, whereas they get to shuttle between parents ? This is specific ONLY to people who divorced because thy had really bad fights in their previous marriage.

Answer 1

As a child whose parents divorced & then later had a child with their new spouse, it all depends on the relationship the children from previous marriage have with both the parent & step parent. When my mom had a child with my step dad I w.as young, at 10 & I was really excited because I had a good relationship with both mom & step dad, and I to this day love that boy with all of my heart. My dad on the other hand I don't have the closest relationship with, and I don't get along with my step mom very well either, they had a child when I was 22, I am really not close to that child at all. As long as the child knows that a new baby is not going to mean they are going to be loved any less things should work out

Answer 2

HEY!!!!!!!!  I was there... seemed like a good kid, then after that happened he got into drugs, alcohol, running away, problems with the law... all sorts of goodies ;)

Email me directly if you want some things that I would have done better.

Answer 3

Well i married my husband and he had 2 other children from his first marraige who were 10 and 8 at the time. At the start they didn't really warm to me and only wanted to see their dad but since me and my husband have had children its almost as if it binded us together and his kids come over now to spend time and babysit there siblings (they are now 15 and 13). Although we don't spend much time together they love their dad and their new siblings  

Answer 4

My daughter will be 8 next month and I am married again and just had a new baby. She goes back and forth from my house and her dad's. Her and I have talked about it and yes it does bother her a little. But as long as you make sure you take that extra time with your child and make sure your child or children are treated just like part of your new family there should not be a problem.

My daughter is our family we look at it as we have two children even if my oldest isn't my husbands child. I will raise my girls as sisters who cares if they have different dads were all family.

The poster Garden Club said this :. Moral of the story, don't have s*x with a man until you know he is marriage material and wants a life time commitment, don't get married young, don't get a divorce and don't get married for a second time.

For one don't tell people not to get married younge sometimes you don't have a choice in divorce. I didn't marry younge and I divorced my ex because he cheated he stole from me and many of other things. So hmm how was I supposed to know it would turn out that way. After all I knew him for a long long time. The poster above the whole post was totally off the wall and very ignorant

Answer 5

Well, as long as I can remember, my older brother and sister from my dad's first marriage before he married my mom have always treated me like a full brother, and I have never really considered them to be half-siblings either, my sister lived with us for a few years, and I only got to see my brother maybe for 2 weekends in a month, but now I am closer to them than ever before and I love them just as much as my brothers and sister that my mom and dad had after me.

Edit: I know I can't say exactly how they felt, because when I came along my parents already had a child who was stillborn.

I guess it depends on how the children react, but I'm just telling you how good they were to me from what I can remember.

Answer 6

children bounce back from stuff much better than we do. if its the way its always been they aren't going to have a problem with it. surely you've done had the discussion about some families are broken but that doesn't mean they are not loved it just means they have more people to love them. Just remember to include them in everything about baby so they realize that it really is there sibling.

Answer 7

It depends on the child and the parents. The situation is never the same.

Answer 8

not all children will respond the same, some feel closeness and understand it, some feel jealous or left out. Important is to communicate with that child and involve that child with ur new baby spouse and share it, so they will feel the same love around, nothing is different, and hopefully it will work out smoothly.  

Answer 9

I agree with the first answerer. I didn't read the others. It would depend on the child, the child and parent's relationship, and probably other factors.

Answer 10

My parents got divorced and then a year later my dad got remarried to another woman and had another kid. To be honest, I resented the new baby because my dad dedicated more of his attention to him and seemed like he loved him more. And to top it all off, my mom got remarried to another man and had a baby too. She also loved the other baby more and consigned care of me to my dad.

If you're going to have a baby soon and you already have a kid from your previous marriage, pay attention to the kid. They'll need it.

Answer 11

I have 4 kids and the first 2 are from different dads, the last 2 are from my current husband. They all love each other and get along really good. My husband treats them with as much love as he does the two that are his. So,no it doesn't hurt them seeing the two little ones having both parents together because we never let them look at it that way. They have both parents at home too even though the dad may not be biological.

Answer 12

You hit the nail on the head.  The children get shuttled from one parent to the other and you have a new baby that gets all the love.  The kids can't verbalize it but they are resentful, they feel abandoned, they feel like they only have 1/2 a mom.  Moral of the story, don't have s*x with a man until you know he is marriage material and wants a life time commitment, don't get married young, don't get a divorce and don't get married for a second time.  The rate of divorce of second marriages is worse than first marriages because of this very reason.

The mom feels guilty about the "shuttled kids" but she still wants a man in her life, so instead of making the kids her number one priority, she finds a new man... the kids don't like the new man because he has taken their mom away from them.  

Answer 13

I left my first partner (thank God I didn't marry him!!) due to his abuse.  My daughter was just under 18 months old.  I didn't have another relationship until 5 years later.

My partner also had a daughter who is 3 years younger than mine, and at first my daughter didn't take having a sibling very well.  She was used to being an only child and didn't like sharing me. (Step daughter was the same with her dad).

I now have an 8 month old son and my daughter has taken it really well!  She's 9 now, so she's old enough to be very involved in helping with the baby.  My step daughter took a while to get used to it - she hated not being the "baby" anymore, but she's also come around.

My daughter doesn't really seem to mind that my son has both parents in the same house and she doesn't.   Having said all that, her father has just recently announced that him and his girlfriend are going to have a baby and my daughter has not taken it well at all :(

As long as you keep the child involved, feeling loved and as part of the family I think they'll adapt well and be ok with it.

Good luck :)

Answer 14

I think that the kids will do good.  I have 2 girls from a previous marriage and I just has a son with am man that I have been with for 5 year and my girls have been doing very well with my son.  The girls live with me.  We are just one happy family.  Just make sure that you keep your child involved with the new baby and everything will be fine.