How do i ask this of someone?

Question

ok i posted this question yesterday:

i have been raped several times. I have Post traumatic stress as a result of those rapes.

i have to have a pelvic exam this week. im scared of it. i have bad nightmares, and dont respond very well to people touching me without warning, or being touched in places more than a pat on the back, or a hug. if someone is just standing next to me, and and puts their hand on my back, near my side, it scares me..its like some areas are "tender." my doctor goes to my church...she's my youth leader. she knows i was raped, but i dont want her to see me like that. i know im not gonna react well.

i was told to take someone with me that im close to that can be there for me.

the only person i can think of is an adult. my mom wouldnt go to my first one with me, i dont want her to go now. i dont have a good friend my age that im that close to. theres another woman at my church taht i trust and knows the situation too. shes very kind and knows when to give me a hug

Answer 1

even though she seems like a nice person, this isn't a place that I think I'd want someone from church with me.

Ask your mom again.  If she says no, see if there's a nurse who will stay with you (most are there as matter of proceedure anyway)  And make sure you get to talk to the doc before the exam.  Most talk with you before you change.

Just remember; she's on your side, she works for you, and she won't go against your wishes.  You have the control.

Answer 2

As you trust this woman a lot.. tell her your story.. tell her what happened to you.. she will understand and you don't have to be ashamed.. you were a victim and any woman with any sense will understand that.. so does your doctor.. she understands you..  but if you feel more comfortable going with this one person you trust.. then be honest with her.. she will definitely not judge you.. you were the victim here and she also understands why you don't like to be touched.get your pelvic exam done.. your friend will go with you I am sure but apart from that. you need to see a therapist.. you need or also should go to a self help group of girls and women who have been raped.. there you will find a lot more support than going to one therapist who talks to you one on one... If you join a self help group for women and girls who were raped there will be a professional therapist there and lots of other girls and women and you won't be alone all of them had to endure a similar fate.. some were even raped by their own father or by a brother or uncle. so incestouous rape.. those women will all support each other and you..  they will talk about this and the therapist there is trained in this and in many cases a female therapist in such groups at one time in her life was herself a victim of rape so she would fully understand you and the group will never judge you as they all went through the same.. you should go and seek a self help group for rape victims that will be more beneficial to you than a one and one talk to a therapist.. that is not as effective as going to a group where you know you are the victim and where you meet others who share the same fate that will give you right away a feeling that you are not alone.. and everybody will be a lot more supportive and helpful and this will benefit you more and other women and girls relate their stories and might even have advice for you.. how to learn to cope and how to finally find closure and how you can get over that feeling of hating tgo be touched..  by everyone.. this would be a great help for you.. I don't believe in one in one therapies I believe in group therapies for things like that and you might actually make friends amongst the other girls or women.. as they know exactly how you feel whereas the therapist ..the one in one.. she won't know... go to group therapy.. look in the yellow pages... xx

Answer 3

You take her aside and say, "since you know about my situation, I have to go get an exam and my mother doesn't want to go, but I need someone I feel safe with, will you be that person"? She will either say yes (more than likely she will) or that she can't. If she can't, then get to thinking, there has got to be someone else who you can trust. However, many times in life we have to face things alone, so if that is the alternative, be brave and go... it is over before you know it. As a nurse, I have held many a hand and was glad I could...Get some confidence, you are older now, you have the power and you can grow and be strong for yourself NOW and perhaps for others down the road. We will be praying for you!

Answer 4

take her out for coffee and ask her over coffee

don't make it awkward

make sure she realizes how much it would mean to you if she came....

Answer 5

Just say "I have to have a pelvic exam next week and I need someone to go with me and I'd like it to be you if you would agree."

Answer 6

Ask her and find out. She has already kept your secret for this long. The worst she can do is say no. This is also a serious answer, have you considered taking drugs to calm you down during your exam? Or is it one of those non-life threatening exams that really doesn't require that much urgency.

Answer 7

okay, well, i think you should just pull this lady aside and tell her. basically what you've just written is a good way to start by asking her. you can do it!

Answer 8

Rape is a terrible crime, hope you reported it to the police..........Several times? So sorry. Please, talk to you doctor/youth leader and ask for her help. Ask her for guidance, she is a doctor!! You need to find some way to protect yourself from these situations

Answer 9

tell her what you told us