How do i comfort my best friend she just lost one of her Fallopian tubes?

Question

My girlfriend lost her baby 4 months ago it was an ectopic and on friday she had an op to remove the tube as the repair to the tube didn't work. She badly wants kids and has been trying for a while and is very upset that her chances are now halved.

I understand the feelings on loosing the baby as i just lost my 3rd baby on the 14th of August at 20 weeks but i still have both my tubes where as she has no kids and is going through all this.

Any suggestions on how i can help make her feel better?

Answer 1

Just be supportive. That's the best you can do. Don't say what is obviously not true, "I know what your going thru or I understand". Just let her know that sometimes we don't understand why things happen the way they do but that there is still hope. Even going out on a limb, there are so many children that are abandoned and in need of that love so it is not that she has to live the rest of her life childless, as adoption is always an option. I know there probably is nothing like the maternal instinct with having your own, but there are so many parents that discard their children or put them in harmful situations where they need to be taken and ALL of those little ones need a place to call home. Just because we WANT our own, that doesn't mean that the cards that are stacked against us says that's what we NEED to do. Explain that she did nothing wrong, it's just the way things were meant to be. Where one door closes, another will open.  

Answer 2

All you can really do is listen to her and gently remind her that she can still get pregnant ...its a loss she needs to grieve both the loss of her baby and the loss of half her fertility...

Answer 3

I don't know if this will help but I also have only one fallopian tube working as the other had an infected liquid which did not help at all when we were trying for a baby.  The only way to get pregnant was through IVF, which after a couple of attempts it worked I now have two gorgeous little girls (twins) who were three years old in August.  I know it's very hard but with a bit of patience she will overcome this just like I did....