How do i confront my alcholic father???

Question

ok. so i am 18years old. my dad has a problem

hes not abusive or anything like that... but he clearly does not comprehend his problem. he drives home after drinking which could kill himself or someone else. my step mom has went through a lot with him and is emotionally broke. he comes home(owns his own bussiness) and drinks and plays on the xbox 360 live. all night. if me or my younger brother try to talk to him.. he yells cuz we broke his concentration. he refuses to do anything with the family and goes to the bar after work and then lies about it. about two months ago i suffered from a blood clot. at my young age that is very uncommon. they found that i have a blood disorder. on top of that they found a lesion in my brain that could have been cancerous. the day we found out it wasn't caner, he went to the bar by himself to celebrate and did not say one word to me... it crushed me. he acted like he was the only one who was worried. i want my dad back. he used to be SO much fun help??

Answer 1

Rebecca, I am so sorry you are going through this. When someone you should be so close with acts so distant it can be hard, I know.

Have you tried writing a letter to him? Maybe you and your younger brother should write separate ones to him, explaining exactly how you feel. You may also need to write one or talk to your step-mom. I'm sure this is all very difficult for her as well, and it may help all three of you (you, your sibling, and your step-mom) if you at least knew you could rely on each other.

Good luck, dear.

Answer 2

I think the best way to handle this situation is to get him to go to another place, other than home, and tell him you want to talk to him. Let him know how you feel about his drinking and yelling and how it makes you feel. Let him know that you are worried about him and his emotional health. If you express how you feel, he will be left with that to think about. You can't change him and you can't blame or control him. All you can do is let him know how you feel. It is up to him to change! Good Luck!

Answer 3

can't you tell the police what he does

Answer 4

you need to write to him if you can't find the words in person.  Tell him exactly how you feel, and don't sugar coat it.  Don't be mean or hurtful, cause he may get defensive.  He is the only one who can change himself, and if he sees how much he is hurting those he loves, the light may go off in his head that it's time to change.  He probably doesn't personally care about his lifestyle right now, so it will take you and your brother to tell him what it is doing to yourselves.  Being personal, and polite is the safest way, not blaming him, or creating more pain for him.

Answer 5

You need to stage an intervention with the family and his friends. Unless he is ready to quit and join AA there is nothing you can do. Move out and make a life for yourself without him.