How do i cure insecurity?

Question

i'm the most painfully self-conscious insecure chick and i don't like it and want to get to the root of why i've always suffered from this and how to get over it. i'm honest so i'll say i am pretty but i'm also chubby or should i say fluffy..size 14. for this reason alone, never mind my other skills...i've always doubted myself and never gone for my dreams. i'm also very sensitive and easily embarrassed and hurt so i'm a loner much of the time. this also affects my love life

i always feel as if my husband thinks other women are better than me and i'm always worried he'll leave me for someone else and have this perfect life while i end up alone or in a mental ward singing "Yellow Submarine" to myself with only my two cats as my friends. I can't handle my husband teasing me about threesomes or anything where his attention goes to another girl.

of course i was abused and cheated on by a boyfriend in the past who always told me i was fat and left me scarred. also i was a geek in school, never popular and people called me weird. i was in GATE and a gifted poet but since you have to die before people recognize writing talent, I figure it'll never get me anywhere.

how do I get over myself already. i have to live with myself daily and it's annoying--i know it's not cool and I'm not about to go Emo so please help this tortured soul find some light?

Answer 1

Focus - it is all to do with focus. Focus on strengths, not weaknesses. Google a short piece called Desiderata. I think it will help you a lot with these issues. Develop self-sufficiency within yourself - shine with positivity. This way you will enjoy yourself and others will have enough on their hands to enjoy you for yourself too!

Best wishes. UK

Answer 2

To me, it sounds like you are insecure with your body.  Being insecure about that tends to lap over into every other aspect of your life...if you let it.  You don't have to let it.  But, it will take some work, and some dedication on your part.

First of all...tell yourself that you're beautiful-no matter what size.  If you're unhappy about size..why don't you change it?  Join the gym.  Working out promotes happiness, your endorphines will kick in and you'll FEEL better.  Not only that, but the more you work out, the more confident you will get.  Start eating better.  Try to knock out a bad habit with a good one-and let that one be the gym.

Being cheated on was not your fault.  Tell yourself it was not your fault.  That jerk was insecure about something within himself...so don't allow yourself to think that had anything to do with you.  If he wasn't happy with something, then it is HIS loss.  Tell yourself that.

Maybe you should tell your husband that it hurts your feelings when he teases you about threesomes.  Some people are ok with play like that, some aren't.  If it bothers you, tell him.  He loves you and will need to cooperate.  ;)

No matter what your size, you can be beautiful.  Its all within the way you carry and present yourself.  Act beautiful-be beautiful.

Big hugs to you...it will get better, you just have to tell yourself it will and then go along with it.