How do i deal with being stuck in the middle of something?

Question

my friend Julia* hates my other friend Ruby* but Julia* doesn't know i'm friends with Ruby* every time i'm with Julia* she complains about Ruby* and i don't say anything because i don't want to get involved and lose a friendship. i tell Ruby* if i hear something being said about her because i would want the same if it was about me.

i'm sick of Julia* making everything about her and yelling at me for no reason. shes manipulative and i can't stand it.

its my birthday soon and i wasn't going to invite Julia* but i know that if i didn't, she would yell at me and try and manipulate me into letting her come so i invited her to by pass all the yelling and manipulating.

i wasn't going to invite Julia* because i know she will make a scene with Ruby*.

how can i get out of the middle of it all? and what do i do about my birthday? its meant to be about me not about my two friends fighting.

ps. Julia* and Ruby* are fake names

Answer 1

hi you just need to tell julia that you are friends with ruby and tell her you still want to be her friend but you dont want he to talk bad about ruby anymore . you need to tell julia to not boss or bulli you anymore to .i wouldnt want a friend that was a bulli

Answer 2

be honest to julia and tell her that you are friends with ruby and you dont want to break the friendship with ruby. afterall its your choice......

and abt bday invite both of them and you have fun.let them fight odo anything you just enjoy....

happy bday in advance....

enjoy..

Answer 3

It doesn't sound like Julia is a good friend.  It's hard to take someone who is manipulative and its even harder to stand up to them and tell them how you feel.  

If you decide you want to be friends with both of them you need to just tell both of them the truth.  Tell them that you know they don't like the other person but that you are friends with both of them.  Tell them you know you should have told them sooner but you didn't know how to but now you realize you need to.

It sounds like Ruby will be more likely to accept this and back off.  I'd expect Julia to make a scene and try to manipulate you into stop being friends with Ruby or threaten to end your friendship.  But really, even if she does, what loss is it to you?  She's stuck on herself and doesn't seem to care about you at all.

I'd have this talk before the party so they can have time to accept it and move on in whatever way they decide to.