How do i deal with disrespectful kids?

Question

My daughter is 5 years old and very disrespectful to me. She says she hates me all the time, makes faces at me, ignores me when i ask her nicely to do something. She will throw things, smack her 2 year old brother if she don't get her ways. I have tried everything. From grounding to taking things away from me. She doesn't care. I am at my wits end and my nerves are shot. Anyone have any tips?

Answer 1

Smack that 5 year old butt. Apparently she does not respect you and you need to make that clear.

Answer 2

Spanking has worked for thousands of years.

Answer 3

lock her in her room every time she is naughty!

Answer 4

Spank, Spank, Spank

Answer 5

My sons both have told me that they hated me and I said well I love you very much and you can feel however you want to, but I still love you. Faces I just ignore and they finally figure out that it doesn't effect you at all. When mine throw things or hit each other I make them pick up what ever they threw and put it up and say they are sorry and they have to go to their room and sit on the bed and do nothing for ??? amount of time. When they hit the have to say I'm sorry and go to room and sit. Works wonders. Mine don't like to just sit without playing or watching TV. This has stopped throwing things and saying they hate me. AS for the faces, I just ignore them. Pick your battles.

Answer 6

well for the hitting..this is what I did when I got fed up with it. I tried time out and it hadn't worked.so the story

I caught one hit the other. I declared it "Smacking Day", I gave a hard smack. Told them how much I love smacking day. Everytime one hit the other I gave a good smack and said how much I loved smacking day. After to smacks they got the message. they stopped. Then a couple of weeks later on hit the other who hit back. Very excited voice I said "What? Is it smacking day again? I LOVE smacking day" And gave them both a good smack. They didn't hit again. A week later one went to hit and all I asked was "Are we having smacking day again? I LOVE smacking day". They both cried NO! NO! no smacking day. And never again hit each other.

Makes faces? Says she hates you? Ignore completly. Then when she asks for something tell her " I am sorry I don't do anything for children who hate me/pull faces at me" and walk away. Only do things you have to such as get her food and drink. Nothing else. No tv (that is for nice kids), no stories, no special treats etc. Everytime she asks and has been disrespectful then give nothing. Everyday is a fresh start. After an hour of getting up if she has behaved then sit down and read a story to her telling how much you are enjoying being with her. Positive reinforcement for good behaviour. She is easier to deal with now than in5 years time. You need to get on top of this

Answer 7

NO SPANKING!!!

Talk to her. Love her.

You could try making a chart, and keeping her away from her brother when she might be mad or upset. The chart could have things such as Being Nice, Cleaning up etc..

Remember to always respect her, and to still have authority.

If she throws a fit, DON'T GIVE IN!

It may be hard, but she'll eventually learn to stop hitting, yelling, etc..

Just please, no matter what,

no matter how mad you get,

DONT SPANK HER!!!

Answer 8

How about a smack in the mouth? ... No really just an old fashion spanking should work fine.

Answer 9

i think what works best is putting them in corner it really works with my 5 year old son

Answer 10

It is just a phase but I know it sounds a bit biazzar but have you tried ignoring the bad behaviour and praising the good.

Also as she is a big sister give her a role like could you sit an watch your brother while mummy takes the washing upstairs, , if she says she hates you tell her how much you love her and she makes you very sad when she says that.

You have to make her aware of her actions, Yelling and smacking like some people suggest is not the answer.

Also in the uk we have supernanny she does suggest some good things like time out step and a good behavior chart.

Answer 11

Hi there, sounds like you have a real high-spirited little one there!

I don't recommend spanking because your daughter is already hitting the 2 year old, and if you spank her, that will send a mixed message that spanking is okay and its okay for adults to hit little kids.   I wouldn't go there.  Also, with spanking--they toughen up and then you have to get rougher so I definately would not go there.

My son and I watch SuperNanny on TV.  She gives lots of good advice!

When your 5 year old is having a tantrum---do not get angry, but go the opposite way with your dispostion (did I say that right).   It has a calming effect on kids.   You will actually be programming her to calm down in situations that make her angry.

Try to bring her to another room and get down at eye level.  She will feed off of your calm energy---but it might take awhile.

Tell her when she is calm, that you two will have a talk.  And let her be by herself for awhile.  That is just one idea out of many!

Setting up a behavior chart when everyone is happy not when moods are bouncing, where she can earn treats for good behavior.  This takes the emphasis off of the bad behavior.

Have a special bedtme routine and read books together just to have time for the two of you.   She is probably a little jealous of her baby brother.

I know it is not easy.   I had it rough. My son had ADHD and it could get pretty intense.   I do recommend talking to a counselor so you won't feel like you're going crazy.  She or he will be able to spot something like ADHD in your daughter if she is really that intense.

Good luck to you.  Stay Calm. Stay Strong.  We are here on this earth for such a short time----try not to react to the antics of little kids too much---but do not allow the hitting.

Perhaps, the dad or another neighbor can be a back up for you when you put her in the other room.    She probably won't try to sneak out because of company.

Well, anyways.  I love the Supernanny show.  I hope you get a chance to watch it.   Sorry this is so long!!!!!

Answer 12

Have you tried rewarding her for GOOD behavior?

It sounds counterintuitive, but maybe she's hungry for attention.  Instead of inventing bigger and better punishments, try a sticker chart - and catch her doing what she's supposed to do.

You can either believe that your kid is inherently bad and try to crush her, or assume that she's got some good qualities and it's your place to bring them out.

If nothing else, a totally fresh approach will surprise her.  And that's the big advantage you have over a 5 y.o.  You're smarter.  Don't resort to physical punishment - it rarely works.

Answer 13

This is a typical phase at the age of 5 to 6 years. Children discover the power their words can have, they see bad examples at school, and in your daughter's case she may be jealous of the attention her little brother is getting. Although this stage will pass (just wait till she's 11 though...) it's important that you don't let her become the boss. Talk to her as often as you can, reward her (verbally or otherwise) for good behavior, but also make clear that you will not tolerate behavior that she knows very well is inacceptable. If she persists there have to be consequences. Grounding or time-outs don't work with many children at that age, and she may have so many toys that she doesn't care about having one taken away. What I have used with my daughters is the old-fashioned method of spanking their bottoms (just with my hand,about 6 - 10 swats at that age). It's controvesial, I know, but it does have its advantages: quick, memorable, and can be combined with scolding and clear guidelines as to proper behavior.

Answer 14

Well at 5 years old I personally don't think she should be getting grounded yet, that's an a thing for preteens and up.

Don't hit her, that Will just weaken your relationship with your daughter, my parents hit me left and right for every mistake I made when I was a kid, and we have a very poor relationship today.

Do you have a high chair? Would she fit in it? Making faces at you or ignoring your commands costs her 10 minutes in the high chair, that way she cannot get out and run around the house having tantrums.

Make sure she apologizes to her brother whenever she hits him, and simply ignore her when she says she hates you, she is 5 years old and will eventually thank you for raising her properly when she is older.