How do i deal with this? its getting too hard?

Question

ok so my dad passed away may 29th, of this year and it hurts sooo bad i mean me and my dad were reallyyyyyyyyyy close and well i have even thought about suicide just bcuz of how hard it is to deal with all tha stress that is going on right now.... i cant talk to my mom about this or any of my family members bcuz all they do is yell at me for thinking such a horrible thing....... i need help rite now bcuz since my dad passed to this very moment i am so tempted to just pop every pill i have in my house and call it quits.........ps are there any suggestions for how i can talk to my dad now that he is gone bcuz i could really use my dads advice rite now....that mite sound stupid but i am depressed and desperate...........no joke.......im only 15 how do i do this

Answer 1

I am sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose someone

that you love. My mom died 11 years ago and I still cry because I miss her so much. Time does help though. The loss eases up some.

I bet your mom and other family members are still grieving too. Everyone does in their own way and in their own time even if they do not look like it.

Suicide is not the answer though. I do not think your dad raised a coward. He raised a brave child who loved him and misses him very much.

Acting like you are the only one who misses him and wanting to kill yourself just makes you seem selfish. Do you not care about the people who are alive and love you? Having 2 people die in 4 months is too hard on any family.

You should talk to someone. A neutral party who will listen to you and be there when you are sad.

If you have no friends that you can talk to, talk to their parents. Talk to your doctor about your depression. There may be something that will help you feel somewhat better. Do not stop until you have someone you can confide in and who will help you through this sad time. Some health insurance

policies have grief counslers you can talk to. They deal explicitly with helping you get through your grief in many different ways.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I can understand the tremendous pain you feel directly in your heart, it is as if someone is stabbing you in the heart, the pain is so great. Please try and reason with yourself through all of this. Your Dad loved you very much and you know that it would hurt him very very much if you did take your life. I am sure that he is listening to you every minute of every day and he hurts for you. How do I know this because my husband, the love of my life passed away two years ago, the first week I thought I would die, I wanted to be with him so very badly. Then, I started talking to him and asking him to pray for me, so that I could feel a little better each day. What helped me too was that I talked about him all the time, with my daughters who are in their twenties, they were in extreme pain inside. This is the most difficult part of loving and living... letting go. But you can do  it because you are your father's daughter and you are going to make him proud, when he sees what a brave and wonderful daughter he raised. Please take one day at a time. There are no words that could take away the pain. Please go to your mom, she is hurting so much. I will be praying for you Candece. God bless you!

Answer 3

So sorry for your loss.  If you were to take your own life you would regret your decision terribly.  Suicide is not the answer.   Pray for help.  God will hear you and bring you comfort.  Whether it be through another person that may come into your life to ease your sorrows or whether it be to give you a dream of your Father.  I was 2 when my grandmother passed away.  I remember her very well and she favored me as a child and would often call to me when she lay sick in bed with cancer.  She later visited me in a dream/vision and waved to me over a bridge and she was beautiful and young again and very happy.  I think she wanted me to see her once more perhaps to show me she cared and was still there watching over me.  I know your Father would want you to live your life fully and be happy as well.  Make the best of your life.  You can change or make your life anything you want it to be.  You are writing your own story.  Make it a good ending.  All the best to you.  

Answer 4

I understand why you are going through this, I know it's very hard to lose someone that close to you. But, do you honestly think your father would you to give up right now. They say time heals all wounds but they don't say how long that healing process will take. Remember everything good and wonderful about him and let those memories help you through this troubling time.  The best thing you can do is honour his memory and do everything you can do to make him proud of you. Very sorry about your lose, I hope everything gets better for you and your family and try to take some comfort in the fact that he loves you very much. Who knows, if he was as close to you as you say he may still be around you watching over you like a guardian angel until he is sure you will be alright. Hope this helps some and please don't give up.

Answer 5

its very hard losing a ma or dad    suicide is not the answer though  you have to know that this pain will ease with time  and think of it this way  by killing yourself you will hurt everyone around you  you got to go on and do something with your life that will make your dad so proud of you  he would not want you to do this  believe me  i am telling you the truth  he would hold you and tell you to hold your head up high and go on and live a good life   do something good in his name  make it a memorial to him   not suicide which would be a terrible tribute to his name   god loves you  and will help you if you ask him in prayer  

Answer 6

Oh Honey, I am so sorry you have to go through this!

I want to tell you a true story. Please bare with me because it is a long one. But it might actually be helpful to you. I hope it is.

I know a woman who married the man of her dreams on her birthday 4 years ago. Seven months after her wedding her husband had a heart attack and died. She couldn't eat or sleep for months. She never went outside, she never answered the phone or the door, she sat in the dark alone and cried for days at a time.  

She knew that the only way she could ever get through the death of her husband was to take her own life.

Then one night she had a dream about her own funeral. About the family members who just a few short months before had attended her husband's funeral. About the friends who offered her a shoulder to cry on and told her that if she ever needed to talk all she had to do was call. About the minister and his wife who offer grief counseling for free at the church and about all of the people her husband worked with who told her that she wasn't alone.

She woke up the next morning and called an older woman who had buried her husband when she was 28 years old and raised their four kids alone. She asked her how she ever got over the death of her husband.  

The woman told her that she never did get over him, but it's easier now. And it continues to get easier with every day. She said her husband is still with her, 40 years after his death. She chose to make her life and the lives of their children something that he would be proud of.

She went back to school, and worked 3 jobs at a time to make sure their children had a future. She told her children stories about thier father and made sure they knew what a wonderful man he was. All of their children graduated from college and are making a good living for their families.

The older woman told her that she had thought about suicide several times over the months following his death. The only thing that kept her from going through with it was the family and how they would feel if she wasn't there. And she knew that her husband would be disappointed in her if she took her own life but more than that, her children would be on their own. They wouldn't have had a future.

The younger woman thought again about her own family. Her parents, brothers and sisters and the child she gave birth to 2 weeks after her husband's death. She couldn't put them through another funeral and she couldn't let their child grow up without his mother.  

She contacted the funeral home who handled the arrangements and asked them for help. They put her in touch with a grief counselor who let her talk about her feelings and helped her to realize that life is a gift, even when it brings you nothing but pain.

Her son is healthy and happy and he knows who his father is. He talks to his daddy and says a prayer for him every night when he goes to sleep and he wants to be just like him when he grows up.

I know all about the pain you are feeling right now, because I am the younger woman who lost her husband a little over 3 years ago. I became a widow in my 40's and I know it's nothing like losing a parent, but the pain is still the same.

You need to attend grief counseling. Do what I did if you can't talk to your family. Call the funeral home that handled the arrangements, talk to your family doctor, talk to a friend call someone and ask for help!

I sit beside my husband's grave and talk to him when I feel like no one else understands. Or I will go to our favorite spot in the park, lay back on a blanket and watch the stars. We did that every night we were together. And it does help.

Someone in my grief group told me that my husband would always be with me. She was right. Our son has his eyes and his smile. He even walks and laughs like him! But more than that, my husband is living in my heart and in the heart of our child.

I can laugh at his jokes, even the really stupid ones and I can think of him now without falling apart.

The death of a loved one is one of the hardest things you will ever experience. But through the love of the people around me and the help of strangers I was able to begin living again.

Your life is valuable, don't waste it!  Make your father proud and continue to live your life. Study hard and if you feel yourself slipping away, call and talk to someone you can trust. Someday you will be able to remember the good times you had together and smile.  

PLEASE GET SOME HELP!  That is the most important thing right now.

God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. It may feel like you will never be happy again, but you will.  

Let me know how you are. I wish you love and peace and a long happy life.  

Answer 7

Hey... I've never lost a family member that close but I have lost family members. Understand that this thought of suicide is pretty normal in your people who have lost like you have, but you know how bad you feel right now right? Imagine making everyone feel like that... all your friends, family... could you honestly put them through that? Try to find someone that you can talk to this about. I mean if you really need someone you can talk to me! But that's only if you would want to. I've helped people cope through things like this. Me and my ex-gf found her mom after she committed suicide and it isn't fun.

      Now you said you were really close with your dad. I think what you know what he would tell you to say because you have a lot of memories. Think about what he would do in your situation. I bet you know exactly what he would do, and I bet you he's trying to help right now... just listen to your heart:)

If you have messenger or anything I'm rhs_star44 and that's my yahoo address...

Good luck and smile and keep your head up :):):)

Answer 8

alright sweety look,,,you say that you and your dad were really close,,well,,this is what i want you to do alright,,close your eyes,and imagine your dad is there with you alright, now,imagine that your telling your dad that you want to kill yourself,what would he say to you? how would he feel,don't honor your dads memory by being selfish enough to take the one life that he almost deffinately would put before his own life..your dads spiritual being has not died,, he is always with you,in spirit,and in mind,,and you only need to trust in God, and remember him and all of his love for you and he will always be there,,inside of you...losing someone that you love is always painful,, but you must remember that he didn't die because he chose to,it was just his time, and he would not want you to waste your life away mourning him forever.. honor him and his memory by living, doing something great with your life, being healthy and strong,,he loves you,and that is what he wants and will always want for you... good luck,and Godblessyou...

Answer 9

I've lost both my grandparents, my uncle, and my aunt because of heart problems. I felt like dying myself too. But once you think about it, you can't let that one bump in your life ruin the future ahead of you. I'm only 11 and I dealt with it in a mature way unlike your hormone filled thoughts, which include suicide, and pills and weapons. Once you think that he's in a happier place, and that he is always with you in your heart, you'll soon realize, just because one life was taken, doesn't mean another has to go along with it.

Answer 10

Dear Candece, I am really sad to hear that you are missing your dad so much. I know what you must feel. It has just been a few months and so it hurts really bad. I felt miserable when my mom passed away and would start to cry and long to talk to her. She was my best friend, infact I didn't need many friends when I was in school because I used to tell her all my secrets and she was so good in advising me. Time passes and you will get over it. Just be brave and distract yourself with some new hobby or make something or build something, or take up simple job that keeps your mind busy. Your dad would hate to know that you killed yourself over him. It would hurt him to know that he is the cause for your death. Talk to other people in your position who have lost someone and you will feel better. write to me and tell me what you miss most about him - I am sure his smile and hugs are what you miss most.  

Answer 11

Suicide is no joke. I have considered many times but I think about my family and friends and it always stops me. I assume you love your family so think about how they would deal with both of you gone. Your mom may not understand your thoughts of suicide at this point but that's almost certainly because she is dealing with his passing in her own way and she doesn't have enough energy to deal with her feelings as well as understand yours. Things will get better but as for talking to your dad, there's really no way. HOWEVER, you did say you were really close and if that's true you know how he thinks. Pretend you're talking to him and imagine what he'd say. As long as you know him like you make it seem, you probably know what he would say, and in that way you can still always talk to him.

Answer 12

oh honey...so sorry..and its so hard..my dad died right after my college graduation when i was 21...the 1st year is the HARDEST...my dad and i did everything together...even though im a girl people in the family would say "there goes the twins MIKE and IKE!"..my mom and i didn't have a  Christmas Tree for 5 years because we were sad at Christmas and we had a fake one and it was always his job to put it together....so finally one year I said to my mother "Dad wouldn't want it this way so I went out and got a real tree instead and every year since is what we do.....i remember that day..oh God how do we all go through it but we do  and you will too...please email me at [e-mail] if you would like to "talk" anymore...I remember just being so mad I couldn't talk to him or tell him how my day was...my mind just couldn't handle it...like thinking forever and ever....but do you think your dad would want you to kill yourself?!  what a waste that would be... he'd want the best for you...to go on to grow go to college maybe get married...give him grandchildren to carry on  part of him and what his life was?   of course he woudn't...you need to speak to your guidance counselor.. or.other family members...a priest...there are grieving groups out there...talk to your doctor...i don't understand why your mother can't talk to you in a better supportive way..i mean even though she is grieving too..you are still a kid...after a few years it gets  easier but when a song comes on you may cry a lot thinking of him...mine is the song to Titantic....when i got married I asked my mothers brother to dance with me and he said he'd be honored and we danced to that...then towards the end of the night my other favorite song for my dad is bette midlers "Wind beneathe my wings" and so I asked my mother to dance with me and we cried through the whole thing...crying can be good it releases all that is built up....its only when you cry all day long for months and don't want to get out of bed that you need a counselor....but after a few more years when i heard those songs i'd look up in my car and say "I love you too dad, I know you're there"....I've gone to a few psychics.....I live on the East Coast...New England..and some were good and describe my dad but not too much...actually Im going to one in like 2 weeks..he's good..so maybe someday you can ask around if anyone knows anyone (a Medium) they talk to the dead supposingly...so if you have an open mind but don't fall for a fake..maybe you can try that...but in the meantime...live your life and make dad proud.....but you need to speak to someone....good luck and email if you'd like to