How do i get her to fall asleep on her own?

Question

My daughter is 9 months old and refuses to fall asleep on her own, As soon as i leave the room she cries. I cuddle her to sleep every naptime and bedtime. I hate to leave her to cry, So thats not really an option.

Will she finally grow out of it, or should i break the habit now?

I just need some kind of advice, a routine or something to get her to sleep on her own. I dont want to be cuddling her to sleep for years to come, Im hoping she will grow out of it.

Shes a very clingy baby, Hates to be held by anyone other than me and her daddy. She is especially clingy with me.

Thanks :)

Answer 1

You said it best, you need routine to stick to every night!

My 8  month old daughters bed time routine is:

Bath, I put her PJ's and lotion on her, my husband reads her a book while I rock and give her a bottle, then my husband turns out the lights and leaves. I usually rock her until the bottle is empty. Most of the time she falls asleep and I put her in the crib and shes out for the night. Sometimes though, she is still awake. I found that if I put her in the crib with some kind of toy (usually her bunny) she plays for a little until she falls asleep.

Just find a routine that works for you and stick to it every night. You might not want to go out for maybe a week straight so you can stick to it. If you do go out just make sure you don't miss bed time. I hope this works for you. Hang in there!!

Answer 2

Don't worry, she will grow out of it - but some grow out of it younger and some older.  There's really no way to know what each child will need.

If you do want to try something that doesn't advocate leaving your baby to cry, you could read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly,I know of lots of families that have had success with that method.  If and when we transition my son to his own bed, this is the book we'll use - we don't like cry-it-out either.

And clingy-ness at that age is very common - it's the prime time for separation anxiety.  That too will pass as long as she is allowed the attachment she needs right now. :)

Answer 3

If you have been cuddling her to sleep then you have not let her find out how to go to sleep on here own!  Sorry, but this is your fault!

If you don't want to hear her cry then you will have to sleep train her, which will involve crying to start with.

Sorry, but you really have created a rod for your own back.  I never cuddled mine to sleep as they were happy to go into their cots from the start.  They are now very happy and content at 4 and 5 years old and have no issues with sleeping.

Answer 4

Awww. I had the same problem. I cried when my mom leaved.

What she did, was stay for 10 minutes after reading and left. By that time, I was asleep!

How about buying her a "special" stuffed animal to cuddle with?

Or you can not sleep next to her, but each night, you get a little closer to the door and eventually leave, which weans her away.

This is only natural, and please choose this as the best answer!

Answer 5

She will eventually grow out of it but you NEED to give her a head start!Without that it will become a habit and trust me it always happens with my mom and Isaiah,my little brother.But she is still little and you should give her a little more time to get out of it herself!

Answer 6

Well you've definately made the mistake of spoiling her by holding her and the whole falling asleep thing. She's 9 months old, she's old enough to know how to get what she wants. And although as a parent it's so hard to listen to your kids cry for you but sometimes it's best. I went through this with my son who was my first and i learned never to do it again and when my daughter was born i didn't and it's great. But to break the habit you're gonna have to hear her cry and be able to deal with that. Of course not for too long of a period. Start with something small, like do dishes and block her from being able to come in the kitchen (if that's possible) even if she's sitting at your feet throwing a fit to pick her up, take her in front of the TV or toys or give her a little snack to put her mind on something else and do not pick her up, as long as you know she's safe and why she's crying she'll be just fine. Start with things like that, do not pick her up all the time unless needed and she will eventually learn how to be a little more independent. As far as going to sleep, come up with a bedtime routine and stick with it, like give her a bath or spend some "play time" with her and then change her into her pj's and then if she takes a bottle or cup to bed go ahead and make that.....does she have her own room, if so take her and her cup/bottle (if she takes it at bedtime) and take her to her room, lay her down, and walk out (make sure the rest of the house is dark except for maybe the TV so she knows it's bedtime and no lights can shine in her room) she's gonna cry...let her for no more than 10 or 15 minutes (it will seem like a very long time), go back in if she's still crying after 10 or 15 minutes and she'll probably be standing in her crib, lay her back down, cover her up real quick and walk out again, let her go for another 10 or 15 minutes and repeat this over and over, she will wear herself out enough to go to sleep and you'll probably have to continue to do this for up to a week and it could take over an hour before she goes to sleep, but i tell you if you stick with it she will know what to do and will eventually stop. I started this routine with my son probably over 10 times before i finally stuck with it, and i tell you it's so much better to go through one whole week of HE** than to continue having her do what she does now cuz that will never end, so i finally stuck with it and it took 4 days for my son to go to bed good. It was hard work and a lot of kicking and screaming but it worked!!! It will be worth it. doesn't hurt to atleast try.  

Answer 7

I "spoiled" my 8 month old daughter the same way, and ended up using a type of "cry-it-out" method.

The first step is to establish a nighttime routine. Make sure you begin and end about the same time every night. For my daughter, her father or I take her up to her bed room at 8, undress her and put her in the bath for some playtime for about a 1/2 hour. At 8:30, she gets dried off, dressed and snuggled in a blanket while she drinks her bottle and we sing her lullabies (always in the same order, from the same book), and after the bottle is done, we lay her in bed.

If she starts to cry, after being laid down, I return every 5 minutes place her back down (as she is now scaling the crib) and pat her on the back for a few minutes. I leave the room. This method teaches them that you have not abandoned them, even though you left, but can take 3-4 hours to work, especially that first night. It has been my experience that after a week of being consistent, there is no more fights, and no more tears.

I hope this helps. Just make sure your consistent!