How do i get it out of my head?

Question

been with my man for over 5 years. lived together for 3.

all round great relationship, i have no real issues with anything, hes pretty much everything i have wanted in a man.

over the last year we have been talking about getting engaged. it started with us having a conversation about it when we had a few drinks, and over the year progressed into him asking for my ring size.

we have had the whole future conversation, what we want, where we want to live, if we want a family, etc etc.

he has told his mother he is going to marry me. he refares to me as his "mrs" or his "better half" when we are around other people.

in a nutshel, i know its coming, but i dont know when. we went on holiday a few weeks ago, and in the back of my mind i was thinking this could be it etc etc.

my question is, how do i stop wondering, when, how, etc?

i love this guy and yes i do want to marry him, but i also want to enjoy the relationship without this being in the back of my mind.

as a side note, i have to add, i almost never bring marriage up so im not forcing the issue at all, in fact its him that will bring it up. i just want to stop wondering when it will happen.

Answer 1

When he is good and ready, when he has the ring, and when he feels comfortable with the whole idea. Just sit back and relax. The more you think about it. It will drive you crazy.

Answer 2

He knows how you feel at this point so let him bring it up. There's no simple answer as to how to stop thinking about it but just try to be grateful that you have what I would call sort of a ,"luxury problem." Not to negate your problem but just try to be really excited that you have a great guy because a lot of people have no one. Does that make sense? Go out with him. Be patient and know that from what he said it's going to happen at some point and just pray that you stop obsessing on it. Good luck!

Answer 3

Enjoy the excitement and anticipation...that is the beauty of getting engaged!

To take your mind off things for a short while, thinking about ways you can be a more romantic, fun, and supportive partner.  Plan a nice evening or fun weekend for you guys to get refreshed and nurture the love that you have.  Cook him his favorite meal....anything that would focus on your love for him, and not the engagement.

It will come faster than you know.

Answer 4

My fiance told me a story very similar to yours - his mother's best friend was with her boyfriend for a long while and he had not proposed.  The friend was wondering when he would finally pop the question so my fiance's mother gave her best friend this advice......she told her to plan a trip with her girlfriends - go away without him.  Book the trip and purchase tickets.  Let him know in advance that you are going on a trip with just your friends.......well her friend followed her advice and right before she left on her trip, he proposed to her.  They finally married and have a child together

Until this day, her friend thanks her for that advice.

Answer 5

I would be the same as you, its difficult once you have the idea of getting married in your head just to let it happen as and when kinda thing.

The best thing is to have a talk with your man and let him know you want to marry him and can you set the date, however far in the future that will be.

Good grief 5 years together and no engagement ring, thats a long time to be hanging.

I am getting married next June and have been with my man since Dec 06, we got engaged at easter and set the date more or less straight away.

You have a lot of patience thats all I can say.

good luck

Answer 6

Relax.  It will happen it it's own time.  He could be saving up for a really nice ring.  If you have been together this long, what's a little longer.  Maybe he's waiting to spring it on you during your "dating" anniversary or maybe he wants to make it a special Christmas gift.  My fiance and I picked out my ring together, but it needed to be sized.  When it was ready, he was notified, but I did not know when he was going to present it to me.  So I got the ring I wanted, I just didn't know when he was going to pop the question.  Very romantic.

Answer 7

I with you totally on this.

I was just thinking yesterday that I need to stop thinking about it because its driving me mad.

I've been with my partner 3 years and we've talked quite a bit in the last 4 months about getting married and he keeps dropping hints that he's got the ring and things....but its driving me mental as I want to know when he'll ask me.

I seem to do nothing at the moment other then look at wedding dresses and venues and I'm not even engaged.

I have to have stern conversations with myself!!! and stop stressing about it as I want it to be a really nice thing when he does ask me and not a 'finally' sort of feeling.

Just try and forget about it as much as possible and it will happen.....x

Answer 8

There's no way to get it out of your head other than to convince yourself that it doesn't matter. You guys are happy and in love ... just enjoy it until the time comes when he proposes.

My boyfriend (now fiance) gave me a time frame of when he was  going to do it, and for the first two weeks or so, it was all I would think about. But once I convinced myself to just enjoy the ride, and concentrated on our relationship, I was fine, and the proposal was a total surprise.