How do i get my 5month old son on a schedule/ teach to self comfort?

Question

My son wants to be held 24/7 and will only sleep with me. I want to get him on a schedule since he only sleeps 11-6 and will take naps when ever he feels like it. I know all this is my fault so please dont put me down for it just help me...please!

Answer 1

I wish I had more helpful advice, but I really don't. My daughter is 6 months old and sleeps from 8-3 every night. She eats at 3 and then sleeps til about 5:30 and she's up for the day. She takes 3-4 naps during the day and there is really no way to stop these naps, especially if your son attends daycare. You can try to keep him awake as much as possible during the daytime, but he will fuss a lot and that makes it very difficult. Some parents choose to use the CIO method at this point. I have no feeling toward it either way, but you may. The general guidelines of CIO are that you put your child to bed when he or she is tired (wide awake won't help the problem at all) and allow him to cry. You are supposed to check in every 5-10 minutes but you're not supposed to pick the child up. If the child is still crying in 45 minutes to an hour you need to get him. Some people consider this method to be neglectful and others consider it a lifesaver. You just need to decide which method is better for your child. Good luck!

Answer 2

"and will take naps when ever he feels like it"

That's what babies should do.  Babies sleep best overall when they're able to dictate when and for how long they sleep.  It isn't your fault; it's nature's fault, and it's a good thing.

You can teach him how to comfort himself by keeping him feeling safe, loved, and secure.  What ways does he tend to comfort himself now?  Does he nurse/drink a bottle to sleep, suck a pacifier or his thumb?  Does he just want to be cuddled?  Take whatever it is that he naturally enjoys now and work on transferring that to a different object other than yourself.

Since he just wants to be held all of the time (which really means that you're a great mom and he knows that) you could try incorporating a special soft stuffed animal into your snugglings.  When you are holding and snuggling him, especially during nap/bed times, put the stuffed toy on top of his chest or snuggled up next to his other side.  Having it there for a few days (a week, maybe a bit more) will start to get him to associate that stuffed toy with the comfort that he gets from being snuggled.  After a week or so you can start to hold him a little less closely and encourage him to snuggle the stuffed toy.  Your goal is to get him over a couple of weeks to be able to use the stuffed toy to snuggle instead of you.

The downside to this is what my son now does.  When he is overly tired or gets hurt and starts crying, just me holding him isn't always enough.  He'll cry and cry until I get him a stuffed toy, then he snuggles it and is happy.  Remember that there is a trade off.  I don't have to always be the giver of comfort, but sometimes he won't let me be.

As for getting your son on a schedule in general, don't.  Watch his natural rhythm for a few days and make that his routine.  Babies thrive on stability and knowing what comes next, but schedules are really stressful for both mom and baby.  Watch his cues and see what his routine already is.

Answer 3

Start putting him to bed in his own bed.  Try the "cry it out method".  Start by letting him cry it out for 10 minutes.  A few days later, extend it to 15 minutes, a few days later, extended it again to 20 minutes

This worked really well for my daughter.  Now she crys at most 15 minutes before falling asleep..and even the 15 minutes is rare for her..tops its about 5 minutes.

This does not however work for every child.  Stick to the same times whether he seems tired or not.  Be consistant!!  Consistency is most important at winning this battle.

Try to keep him up during the day when it is not nap time.  Will be very hard on you and baby, but a week or two, you will be patting yourself on the back!!

Good luck!!!