How do i get my confidence back?

Question

Ok well ive been riding once a week for 5 years and in about december / november i started riding this horse that was absolutly mental right if you did a circle it;d gallop off and just go around the school about 6 times without stopping and at jumping it'd bolt and take off about a metre away from the jump. it completley shook me.

then they got rid of that horse and got 2 knew ones in. both pretty big. about 16hh. i was riding one of them and we were doing triple jumping and he just bolted at it like the old horse and i fell off (long way down much? im about 5'3) & it completley made me lose all my confidence. so today i was on the other new one and i had to do no stirrups and i just got totally scared ad burst into tears.

i just wanna know how do i get my confidence back? cos i was gonna ride the other one but now im just totally terrified.

Answer 1

I disagree with getting back on the same horse...it's not the horse that needs fixing, it's you and how you feel about things...see if you can back up, slow down and get to ride a trail horse (with someone) out on the trails, then work your way back into the arena...then you will know when you want to try the same horse or another one, but the same type of riding that you were doing when the situation occurred.  Be patient with yourself, you don't have to prove anything to anyone else...you will know when it is time to get back on the horse that made you feel this way...also, int he meantime, talk to your instructor so that you will be better prepared to handle such situations...nothing builds your confidence like being prepared.

Answer 2

Everyone gets scared at some point when they ride horses.You just need to get back on and push through your problem. If you get on the horse again just keep saying to yourself, I'm a good rider no matter what happen to me. I can handle anything. you'll eventually get your confidence back.and remember no matter what anyone says your the best and this was all a learning experience.

Answer 3

just take it slow!!! dont rush anything!!! is the horse ok with other riders!!!! if soo mayb u r thinking that your going to fall??? idk ummm...sounds like this horse needs to be trained more...???

Answer 4

i watched my sister fall off her horse and i was the one who was terrified.  now my sister has a new horse, who is very sweet, but i was terrified and this horse would not hurt a flea!! anyway, the things i did to regain my confidence is performing a lot of lunge lessons, me on the ground and controlling the horse to where i was comfortable to get on and ride.  i spent a lot of time grooming the horse so that i could get to know him and he could get to know me.  this horse is big to me, but by lunging him, grooming him, and even bathing him i got real comfortable around him and in the saddle, now i no jumper but i do dressage so i know how frightening some things can be however, i believe that the more time you spend with the horse and just loving him you'll regain your confidence.  good luck!!

Answer 5

ive been there done that. you have to remember that youll get nothing accomplished if your afraid. try riding at a new barn maybe ? or maybe telling your trainer flat out you dont feel comfortable riding a horse like this. you cant go on like this so somthing must be done.

Answer 6

those kind of horses are the ones that make u a better rider. Everyone gets bucked once in their lifetime and you can't just give up. You have to rember crying isn't going to do anything and you need to rember the emergency stop and that you are the rider and the horse needs to folllow your commands.

Answer 7

Yep ive ridden horses like that before, you just need to get back on the same horse and keep trying. Remember if your scared riding the horse he will know and thats probebly why your having a tuff time on them.

Answer 8

it will come back with time. you should request that you ride a very quiet horse for a while. The instructor should not have let you ride a horse that they thought was to strong, or to much for you. just go back to basics for a while, walking, trotting, cantering on the flat and then build back up. Spend more time around the horses and also try to forget what happend. Dont think that every horse will bolt off with you, just think ok this is fine im quite safe..... and everything will be fine. Believe in yourself! just have fun with the horses and keep up the riding. Dont let a few mishaps stop you. I ride plenty of youngsters now, but when i was 15 i totaly refused to ride (after riding since i was 2) because i had a evil pony that would plant me everytime i rode him!!! i soon got my confidence back though, by riding my dads hunter. i now hunt all our homebred youngsters and im 18, but horses have certain ways of terrifying us. Its only a mind set that makes you 'loose your confidence' when infact, you should be more confident as you have more experience of that sort of thing. good luck

Answer 9

ive had horses like this like i got on my friends who was 17.2 and im 5ft n i fell off when that bolted on the road when i fell whihc was really scary but you just have to get back on and brave it i just took the horse back to the menage and road it there.  Im now breaking in a couple of horses and riding one that a girl bought and wont ride because taht scares her and tehn i have my own one which tries to kill everyone who comes near her so when you fall get back on and be determined not to let it win and one tip i haev learnt is if a horse bolts on you kick it on because then it sends teh message you are in control and tehy are more liekly to stop

hope this helps and good luck x

Answer 10

What happened was very unfortunate but you can't let it dictate the rest of your life.  You need to take a step back, I think, and start over on a different horse.  Speak to your instructor and see if you can get a ride on a plod.  Work on doing nothing but walk and a little bit of trot for the time being.  It sounds like you are being pushed too much just now - a little pushing can be good to build motivation but this is too much after what happened.  If I was teaching you I wouldn't have you canter for at least a month - get back to basics and remember what it is you love about horses.  Perhaps a few lunge lessons, so you can concentrate on your own way of going while someone else takes control of the horse.  And if you can (difficult in a school environment) spend time with horses on the ground.  Basic, dull things like filling haynets and cleaning buckets can make you more confident in your riding.

I know what it's like to be frozen with fear, and I think unless you've been there you don't realise how stupid and unachievable remarks like, "just get back on!" really are.  I hope this is just a passing blip - it really is horrible.

Answer 11

Don't worry. I've had the same problem. Everyone does. It's okay though, you'll get through it. I did.

Here, I've only been riding for a few years but I'll share with you my fall history. Ok first fall.

It was my second jumping lesson ever and I was on the new horse that I now rode every week. His name was Nibbles and I absolutely adored him because he was a challenge. We went to the jumps and we were only meant to be trotting over small jumps but instead I lost control and he took off at a canter over a big one. I lost one of my stirrups and he began to run for the gate, back to the stables. He then stumbled and I lost my other one (I had only been riding for 3 months). Then he stumbled again and I found myself on his neck. I fell off and cut myself but I was mainly shaken. I think my biggest mistake was not getting back on, instead I got an old, ploddy horse that one of the others was riding.

Then a few weeks later, back on Nibbles he was having a bad day. He kept taking off and running to the gate of the arena when he hit a weak spot in the circle. I had my leg banged into the metal gate five times and I got mad. I scolded him and made him 'trot' back to my instructor on the 6th time but instead he took off for the opposite gate. I fell off a meter from the other gate and put a hole in my joddies. I got back on Nibbles this time but I just walked and trotted in circles for half an hour while my instructor worked with another person and then eventually started to canter slowly.

The next time was a few months later. We were getting a new instructor so my fave one was outside the fence of the roundyard and helping while the new one was in with us, teaching. I was on a horse called Neon who bucks or rears if another horse gets too close. The girl behind me lost control of her horse and he went and bit Neon on the bum while we were sitting trot with our stirrups crossed over. Neon, of course, bucked high and I flew as it was my first buck. I hit my head on the fence, then fell face first into the sawdust, Neon then jumped over my head and I rolled under the fence. I don't remember anything from when Neon bucked except for flying and then opening my eyes as my old instructor turned a tap on over my face.

It took me a while but I eventually got my confidence. My new instructor wasn't helpful as she always laughed when something went wrong or snapped. She never taught us anything and always seemed amazed if you did something right. One day it just hit me, I decided that the worst that can happen is I can fall off. Yes, I know I could break something or get seriously injured but s**t happens and a part of riding is accepting the falls as well. They mold us and make us better riders and better people.

Best of luck,

Liz

Answer 12

it's funny... i had the same problem.

i rode this horse in the outdoor ring once and she  got really hyper because of the wind and took off galloping several times around the ring, but luckily i stayed on. you're not a true rider until you have fallen 100 times. i've been riding as long as you have too. anyway, i was scared to get on horses, even my favorite one. you have to be relaxed. take deep breaths... always remember to breathe. dont be tense, or your horse will tense too. i eventually gained back my confidence and now i am cantering over about 2'6" fences. dont worry you will be fine. just ride a sweet, calm easy horse for a little while. that will help.

about the 16hh horse.

i am pretty sure he is not taking off with you. a horse i ride bolts at fences, but it is because he is excited and having fun. especially since he isnt really ridden because he had colic surgery a few months back. the last time i jumped him, he bolted at the fence in almost a gallop, but it wasnt a "take-off" kind of bolt. im sure your horse is just excited... or something spooked him. but either way, it isnt something as serious/scary as the horse that took off.

to gain your confidence back...

remember that not all horses are wild and take-off. like i said earlier, ride a sweet, calm, maybe even beginner horse. relax and remember to breath. you'll soon remember how much you love this sport and how much you love horses and get right back into it. i can really relate to you in all of this.

hope this helps:]

Answer 13

Go back to the basics....if the same thing is happening over and over and with different horses...perhaps it is you and not the horse.  By basics I mean doing ground work and stay away from jumping until you feel comfortable and regain your confidence.  Try riding on a lunge line, we do alot of vaulting work for balancing.. work on cavaletti's get your position right..ride a horse that you feel in control of rather than the other way..riding is supposed to be a fun and challanging sport if you are fearful..your horse can sense that and will attempt to and succeed in taking advantage.  Does your instructor know how you feel and they are still pushing you to jump??  Or see what is happening and allows it to continue without giving you proper instruction or putting you on the proper horse?

Jumping is a very dangerous sport and even the most well trained and advanced horse will refuse or decide to do something different than the rider wants.  Perhaps it isn't the right discipline for you.  When I was a kid and first started riding I rode hunt seat and jumped...now, I prefer to keep myself safely on the ground and just don't have the courage to jump.  And even being on the flat doesn't mean you still stay on the horse or the horse behaves perfectly....anything can happen and if a horse starts galloping around the barn...I would think that you woulkd be aware or know what to do to stop them...I think you get to thinking of your fears and lose sight of what you "learned" to do in certain circumstances.

Be safe and if you instructor doesn't have your best interest and safety in mind or continues to allow you to do things that you feel frightened and scared to death of...then I would wonder if I am at the right place.

Have fun and be safe!!

**************EDIT********************...

It doesn't make sense that because it is a riding school that you can't do lunging...all the more reason to have additional schooling methods available for all types of situations to help horses and riders overcome shortcomings.  

Falling is no fun whether it be off a pony or a giant horse....alot has to do with balance.  

Take your time and do what you feel comfortable with until you get your groove (and confidence) back!!

Answer 14

Something sounds wrong about how both of these horses are doing this. I know that you are experienced, but is there anyway  you could be doing something to spoke them? Were you nervous before riding the new horse? The one you fell off of? This could be why he bolted. Horses can feel when you get nervous, it makes them nervous as well. Also something else could be spoking them

Also... To get your confidence back, start out slow, It seems like your still fine as long as your on the ground. My first question is, do you know anyone with a smaller horse? If you do I would start there.

Wether you do or don't here's what you do.

First, start out by just sitting in the saddle, with stirrups! and have someone hold onto the reins with them on the ground. Just sit there for a few moments until you are comfortable. Then have them begin leading the horse foward slowly. Remember not to start until you are completely calm, don't be nervous, if your nervous, you'll make the horse nervous.

After this, you can take the reins yourself, start off just walking, then do a little trotting. Just start off by doing basic warm up things, When your COMPLETELY comfortable with that, try doing a canter around the ring. Do not do any jumps until you are calm, comfortable, and make sure you are not alone during any of this.

The most important thing to remember if you fall off again, you need to get right back on the horse! Don't walk away again.