How do i get my family to accept that I'm not as smart as they are?

Question

I come from a family of accomplished Harvard graduates. My younger brother is a genius (literally) and could probably take a college class if he wanted (he's 14). Anyway, I'm 20, and although I go to a "first tier" college, it's not an ivy league (It's like the next step down from that). I'm smart, but not as smart as my super-smart family. My interests are not that intellectual--I like some history, but I mainly like fashion, and things most people would assume is "ditzy". I personally think hair dying and fashion is a form of art! My mom has accepted this about me, but my dad thinks it's some sort of rebellion--I'm 20! I should point out that I'm a writer though so I do something. Anyway, what do I do to get them to stop criticizing me?

Answer 1

Sit down with your father and tell him how you feel about the way he criticises you. I'm sure your father just wants what is best for you and just doesn't understand that this IS what is best for you. Tell him (in as nice a way as possible) that this is your life not his and you need to do what makes you happy and that fashion or hair is what feels right for you and if he cant understand it then he has to deal with that himself rather than projecting it on to you. If all else fails tell him you are not prepared to listen to the criticism anymore as it makes you so unhappy and if he does start to put you down, walk away from the situation. He would soon get the message. Also maybe ask your mom to back you when you talk to him? Good luck x

Answer 2

well when it comes to apologizing/talking/reasoning about something i never have to think about what im going to say i ust come out with the rigt words.ok try sitting them down and telling them how u feel about them... second.tell them that u are just as smart as they are.. but u just like fashon and that it will be a high paying job one day and that u can only accomplish this by first of all being accepted for what  want to do. dont let anyhting stand in your way .

Answer 3

Don't even think about it. Just live your life and do what you want.

Answer 4

Start off with Don't judge me unless you've spent even one minute in my head. It's scary as h**l in there.

If they have any type of a sense of humor wait for them to stop laughing.

Then tell them to accept you as you are that you accept them as they are.

Answer 5

if your really good, shed some tears and make your dad feel sorry for you.

tell him your 20 and that you can do whatever you want.

tell your dad, "you went to Harvard and we're still not rich."

tell your dad, "i want my memories in a school different from you. we can't all have the same memories in the same school."

Answer 6

I don't think YOU should "accept" that you aren't as smart as they are!  

There are all kinds of smart, and quite literally all kinds of intelligences.  You are simply stronger in some ways that they are weaker, and some of the ways that you are stronger are not the kind of smarts your family tends to value.  As they see you succeed and be happy in your life, if they have have any sense they will probably come around and be proud of you for who you are, and what you achieve in your own unique way.  It is hard when you are 20 and not out on your own yet.

If you get into fashion and other artistic pursuits, you might considering studying a little business as well.  They might not be so worried about your artistic side if they see you are also learning how business works so you can make a living at it.

You should really read a little Howard Gardner.  He's got a couple of great books out and I absolutely

Here are two links:

http://www.infed.org/thinkers/gardner.ht...

This is a great article about Howard Gardner and his Theory of Multiple Intelligences

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_m...

Here is the wiki on Multiple Intelligences.  

Answer 7

Look your just as smart as them, and don't use stupid excuses like you're not to make yourself feel better! But there's nothing wrong with not wanting to follow in your families footsteps! Just tell your parents, that sense you are your own person, obviously you wouldn't make your life choices on what someone else thinks! And you find that you have the most fun (which is really important in life) working in fashion! Stand up for yourself and don't use excuses!

Answer 8

pick up a bio book and make him read up on the different types of inteligence

sounds like to me that your art inteligent, and posible more socialy intelligent then your brother

there are different types of intelligence, and it all balance out, you got more of one, and less of another, not your fault its genetical and all...so only so much you can do about it, and dont mean you are less inteligent, only that your intelligent in another way then your brother

Answer 9

There's not much you can do to stop their criticism of you, because they are barking up the wrong tree and have expectations of you which you'll never meet, even if you decided to drop your dreams and persue theirs, you will never make them happy enough. So enjoy your talents and skills that give you pleasure, and persue the arts because that's what gives YOU satisfaction. and just smile and say cheese when your family complains that you're not persuing intellectual interests.

Answer 10

ignore your parents comments because even though they are your biological family , thats what they think and you don't have to be smart in they way that they are ,, and if you think art and fashion or art and hair dying goes together then it is because that is what you believe so why should your family tell you to do something just so it can fit the picture?

plus, you are an adult now so if you choose to do fashion ...do fashion but finish off college first because if you drop out to go to another it would be a waste.so sit them down and talk to them that you are smart but you want to build the ability to learn something that you want.

Answer 11

Talk to them. Let them know that just because they gave birth to you does not mean what so ever that you are going to grow up to be just like them.

you have dreams of your own

Answer 12

I will tell you it doesn't matter how old you get, your parents will always have something to say. You are 20, act your age and take responsibility for yourself, so what if you are not like the others you don't have to be, you are you. recognize that first ok. And remind your parents that you are you and not the others and that's the end.

What you want in life go for it. you live only once, and you will only 20 one time in life. So think about it ok. There is nothing to prove to anyone but yourself to be happy. your parents will always love you.

I know this from experience you can't make everyone happy so make yourself happy and that is your first priority in life you.

fashion is a form of art and it not easy but if you got it go for it. love fashion it sells!

good luck

Designer in time.........

Answer 13

It would be easy to say "just talk to them about it", but I know that would be one of the hardest things to do. You have strong feelings about this and you are who you are and no one likes to be ostracized for their passions.

If I were you, I'd invite your family to a show (or something) that exhibits how talented you are with your writing, or fashion ideas. If they still don't get the message, tell them that you know you're smart, but this is your calling. They'll understand if they're as smart as you say they are. (Which I'm sure they are. Harvard! Wow!)  

Answer 14

It's not that you aren't as smart as they are, it's just that you have different interests and don't see yourself taking the same path in life as your parents.  

Tell your parents that they raised you to think for yourself, so that's exactly what you're doing.  And they need to trust you to make decisions for yourself that are best for you, not them.

Answer 15

Unfortunately, parents, regardless of intellect, can be ignorant when it comes to things they do not understand.  I believe this is the case with your father.  He doesn't understand fashion or art and therefore has nothing nice to say about those subjects.  SO, he doesn't sound so intelligent to me if he's not smart enough to see the impact that art and fashion have on the economy, education and the job market.

What do you do about it?  How about prove him wrong and ignorant by succeeding in the arts and fashion?  The top fashion designers out there make a TON of money while the lower rung fashion designers make really good money.  Once he sees the way you can live off the fashion and art worlds, he'll come around.

It's a shame that people who are labeled intelligent, usually aren't as smart as we think they are.  Do what makes you happy!  Many geniuses end up committing suicide, you know.  Better off happy than dead.

Answer 16

Well, think of it this way, you just have a different kind of smarts.  Would you brother or dad be able to pick out an outfit to wear to benefit galla?  Probably not, however you could swoop in and have then dressed to the 9's in no time at all.  Those aren't "ditsy" things as all.  And every woman who has ever had a bad hair cut or bad dye job will tell you that hair is an art!  Keep up your writing and just realize, they don't understand you.  Most people who are highly intellectually have a very hard time relating to those of us who are frankly, "normal".  LOL  No matter what they will always have something to say on the topic.  Just live your life, be happy and take your super smart family with a grain of salt.  : )