How do i get my horse to trust me?

Question

i got a mare (named merry) a couple of months ago. im finding it hard to do anything with her. she is my first horse, but my stepmum, who is experienced and her (reliable and honest) friend was the previous owner, found her. (i hope you got that...). merry is my first horse, i am not nervous or scared around her, and she is supposed to be a beginners horse. well, if she is, she's not showing it.

i dont see her every day, but most. when i go to see her in the paddock, she will just stand there waiting for me to get to her, or graze. then i will try to scratch or stroke her, and she will accept it for about 3secs, then walk away and graze. when i groom her, she just seems like shes waiting for it all to be over. when i lift her hoofs, she stamps them down again and kicks out, but my stepmum tries and she is fine. then when i ride her.... she bucks and skips and side-steps- but not trying to throw me, just carrying on. i am only 13 so i think she is taking advantage of me because i am young, but i dont think that explains everything. i just want her to trust me and respect me willingly. what can i do to help?

Answer 1

I think animals trust those who feed them, and be kind to them

Answer 2

Patience is key however frustrating. Set your goals over a period of months for results and take her back to basic training and progress slowly. When picking out her feet make sure you lower her hoof and place it on the ground calmly, do not let her pull and lower herself. When riding use only five key words ' her name, whoa stand, walk on, trot on and good girl' repeat these over and over again with plenty of pats when shes good and for a time refrain from cantering. If possible have a qualified instructor to give you a program to work on and get somebody to video you riding, its amazing how easy it is to spot your mistakes and  body position when you can look back. Good luck, I am currently schooling a three year old mare and winning over her frustrations my making my instructions very clear to her with plenty of rewards when she does well.

Answer 3

Some times its not always about riding her, I had the same problem with a previous horse i had, I found that just going and seeing her and take her for a walk to graze on a patch of grass and take a book and let her graze round u or just groom her while she grazes , Horses should be our friends not just a animal we get on and ride, It does take time for a relationship to form between two beeings just be paitance good things come to those who wait, don't give up just spend time with her i know she will come around.

I hope it helps

Answer 4

The idea that a horse will trust you because you feed them is wrong. The reason is that a horse is a prey animal, so has a different outlook than a dog or a human. You get a dog to trust you by giving food because that is what wolves do-the alpha wolf brings food for the rest of the pack.

A horse is not motivated by food. A horse is motivated by fear and seeking security (getting away from threats like mountain lions). There may be no mountain lions in the barn, but your horse still thinks that way because its hardwired.

So to get a horse to trust you the key is to be seen as his leader who can protect him and remove fear. This is done by groundwork:

*  Backing up

*  Moving the forehand

*  Getting and keeping the attention of your horse

*  Disengagement of the hindquarters

*  Join-up (very important for this particular question)

*  Lungeing

Check out these free articles and videos for ideas:

http://gentlenaturalhorseman.blogspot.co...

Answer 5

patience, patience.  here are a few things i've found:

when you go into the paddock to feed her / ride her / groundwork, whistle a happy tune and act like you don't care if the horse is coming to you or not.  (this is the biggest change i made and made a huge impact)

prepare yourself when it's time to tack up and ride.  make sure you are calm and ready with all the gear you need.  again, sing, whistle, just relax.  it can be hard but horses pick up immediately on your nerves.

do lots of groundwork.  mix it up - a walk on a lead with you dictating where you're going  to, or lunging.  

rewards / treats should only come after your horse has listened.  once you've established a good working relationship, you can be more "generous."

finally when you approach her, always do that at an angle.  never head on.  horses can see you better from a slight angle and feel less intimidated.  for 1000 pound animals, they sure are wimpy!

best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Horses aren't dogs (though some may think they are)

I wouldn't be to worried about her behavior on the ground, though I do think it sounds like you need to be a bit more assertive.  If she is fine with your step mom lifting her feet than there is no reason for her to carry on when you do it.  When you pick her hoof up hang on to it!  If you are in the right position she can't really do anything to you and she should stop after she figures out that her squirming isn't going to make you let go.

As for riding her, is she an honest horse in general?  She may just be a little sensitive and is picking up on your nerves.  

I would stick with her for a bit and see how things progress.  

Answer 7

hello personally just abit of patience and persistance will help alot,but also try not let her be the boss,as she will play you!!!

Answer 8

Remember that horses are herd animals. They don't like to be the leader. In a herd situation they respect the leader that gets them places safely and efficiently. They like leaders who inspire confidence. I know you said you aren't too experienced, but now is the time to learn! Every time your step mom rides her, watch like a hawk! See if you can have your step mom give you lessons while your riding her.

Also... lunging, lunging, lunging! If at all possible, get your hands on some Clinton Anderson DVDs and learn his Lunging for Respect. Also, I wouldn't try to teach her anything new under saddle until you get her under control. Work on the walk - is it forward? Is she reaching? Is she actually working for you? Work on the trot - is she calm? Is she fast enough? Is it the pace you want. Then once those two are resolved go to the canter.

I can sympathize with you about the grooming. I've had my horse for 2.5 years, and he still hates being groomed, but we have a good relationship. However, he is an ex-racer and the lady I bought him from said when she got him off the track his grooms hadn't been too gentle with him.

Also.. GROUNDWORK! Groundwork can really get a good relationship going. Learn how to flex her neck to the left and right with a halter on. Teach her to back up. Teach her to lunge. Teach her to follow you without walking in front of you or getting dragged behind.

Good luck! =]

Edit: After seeing some of the replies I had to edit this... I would not use food to get to her, at all. Like a previous poster said, they aren't dogs. Dogs are predators, like us. Horses are prey. They think differently. They will take advantage of you for an extra treat. She could get pushy. Pushy is annoying. However, pushy can turn into agreesiveness and that gets dangerous.

Answer 9

All horses think of themselves FIRST.  If you want her to come to you in the pasture, try taking a treat out with you such as a carrot or apple etc.  She will soon pick up on that and when she sees you, she'll come to you.  

Picking up her feet.  Put your shoulder against her leg, run your hand down the leg to pick it up.  When you are done, set the foot on the ground, don't let her do it.  Hope this helps.

Answer 10

First of all...congrats for saying you are deciding to stick with her, because I think most of all what you need more than anything with her is lots of TIME.  

It will take TIME for her to learn to trust and respect for you...for some horses that takes longer than others.  You mentioned you got her from your stepmom's friend...well if that lady owned her for a long time...than it might take a while for her to change over to trusting and seeing you as her new owner / leader.

Another poster mentioned that horses do not like to be the leader and they are RIGHT.  You need to establish with her that YOU are the alpha mare and you need to do that in a firm, but kind way with her and be VERY consistent in how you act around her.  Think of how you feel at the beginning of each new school year with new teachers...you are unsure at first until you get to know how they operate.  If they are not consistent in how they operate than it can be frustrating as it takes you longer to "figure them out".

Your mare is still 'figuring you out".  I have an arabian mare that I got as a rescue and it took her almost 2 years to really "warm up" to me and get to where she totally trusts me and sees me as her leader.  It was probably longer for her due to her previous history....but now, that mare prefers me to ANYONE and trusts me 100% and I trust her that way too.

I know you said you are not nervous....but I am suspecting you probably are, at least a little bit and please know that there is NOTHING to be ashamed of in that.  BUT...your mare will pick that up so you've got to really assess what she does that makes you nervous and work through that.  

Easiest way to do that is through visualization.  Have a mental "talk" with yourself before any dealings with her and tell yourself "I am confident, capable and able to lead and work with this horse"...and keep saying it until YOU BELIEVE IT!!!  Even say it while you are working with her if you want...I promise it will remind you that you ARE capable of working with and riding her.

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, just take it slow with her and don't ever be afraid to ask for help when you need it from either your stepmom or another knowledgeable horseperson.  We all started somewhere.

She does not hate you and I can't explain to you how rewarding it will be when she finally trusts you and shows you that she really does care about you.