How do i get my life and relationship with my mother back to normal?

Question

i am 17 an only child living with my single mother. we always fight and when things get back i tend to get abusive emotionally towards her, I'm crying now because she's told me that i have ruined her life and hardend her heart to the point that she wouldn't care if she lived or died. She works two jobs day and night and still we have trouble making ends meet. We've tried countless counseling and nothing works, I'm getting to the point now that i don't want to ruin her life anymore and just want to leave and never look back but i know that would kill her inside because she loves me dearly. If you have any advice or suggestions they are greatly appreciated. thanks!

Answer 1

I am 68 year old and I will never understand why family members can't get a long.  You say you love your mother yet you get abusive emotionally toward her.  Why?  What does she do that upsets you so much?

You can't love her like a daughter loves her mother if you have hurt her so bad that she doesn't care if she lives or dies.

This is making me cry.  I don't care what your mother has done or said she does not deserve the treatment you must be giving her.  She works two jobs and she can't be very young.  It must be very hard on her to work so many hours. And then come home to an abusive  daughter that argues with her.

You are only 17 and still considered a child.  She should punish you for treating her this way.

It is probably her fault that you are like you are.

My children would never argue or be abusive to me because I raised them to respect me.  Maybe your mother didn't raise you to respect her but if she is holding down two jobs she didn't have time to teach you much.   I know you know the difference between right and wrong.

You can't leave home because you are under age.  You said your mother loved you dearly, mothers have an unconditional love for their children.  No mater what their children do or say either to her or someone else, she forgives and still loves he child.

I wished you had told us why you argue and are abusive toward you mother, because I can't understand why you would be.  She love you, you love her and still your make each other miserable.

We wonder why we have wars.  If families can't get along how do we expect countries to get along.

My advice to you is to learn to respect your mother and treat her as a mother deserves to be treated.  You should treat her like you would want your own son or daughter to treat you.

Let her know you appreciate her working two jobs and that you are sorry for all the mean things you have ever said to her.  Then give her a big hug and tell her you love her and don't ever treat her unkind again.

Blessings!  

Answer 2

You are in a hard position.  She is clearly stressed and probably unintentionally takes it out on you.  I don't know if there is anything you can do to try to make things  a little easier but the best thing to do at this point is to have a good talk with her.  Let her know that you know things are tough for the two of you but you want to try to make things easier, ask what you might be able to do help out.  Maybe do something extra around the house, something that she would normally do.  But most of all just let her know that you are there for her if she needs to someone to talk to about her day.  Let her know that you don't want the type of relationship you have now and that you want to work with her to make it better.  Maybe if she sees that you are an adult she will start acting like one herself.  Stress is terrible and it causes all sorts of problems.  I hope this helps.  Good Luck!

Answer 3

the bond between a mother and her child is sacred. probably one of the most meaningful relationships a person could ever had. she gave birth to you and is by your side still, working two jobs because she loves you and cares about you and wants a good life for the both of you.

it's funny, i've had a very similar relatoinship w/ my mom. we've been through a lot. now in my early 20's, i now know she has my back no matter what. we've done therapy, but the source of the quality in our relationship is within US and how we value each other.

im just sayin, family relationships are an important part of our being. make the best of it with the family you've been dealt & save yourself a lot of pain and grief.

God bless!