How do i get my sons teachers to recognise that hes autistic not a brat?

Question

my son is having problems at school hes being bullied by 2 other kids he retaliated last week and was sent home with a letter while the other kids who tried to strangle him had little or no come back my son only fought back because he got scared because he couldnt breath hes only 7 and has social and learning developement issues but the teacher he has this year appears to find him a bother and treats me like a freaky over protective mother how can i resolve this without slapping his teacher lol ive tried to talk to the head but its my sons word against the other 2 boys it was seen by the dinner lady but shes one of the other boys mum so she no help either

Answer 1

Talk to the dinner lady who saw it. I know you said she is one of the other kid's mothers but she may feel that her son isn't being treated fairly as he got away with it. Therefore she may help you bring this to attention of the teacher.

It also sounds like the school doesn't really want to accept your son for who and what he is. If he is Autistic then it's not a label he took on willingly however it is meant to get him the attention and assistance he needs to get through school.

You may need to let it go for a bit longer until someone in authourity (eg the teacher or the head) see the behaviour and see that it is a reaction to what the other children are doing to him.

If talking to the teacher and the head doesn't work you may have to change schools to a school which is more accepting and more knowledgable about autism

Answer 2

When we had a problem with the school following my son's IEP, we took it to the state. We have had no problems since then.

Answer 3

I myself am a austistic teenager so mabye i can help you out here. During my primary school years i had problems getting recognised as an austic person. I never really got the help i need until around year 4-6.

What you should try and do is go to your local GP and try to get a note or something of that doctor to give to your school to convinve the teacher/headteacher that your child is austistic.

I hope this helps =]

Answer 4

If your child is Statemented, the SENCO should have informed the class teacher & there should be an action plan in place to deal with your child's behaviour.

Speak to the SENCO & find out what measures have been put in place.  

If the Statement specifies that your child should also receive support from the Authority's Autism Support Team or Behaviour Support Team, it might be worth speaking to them as well, see if the person who deals with your child will have a word.

What you could also do, if an Annual Review hasn't been held already this academic year, hold one - speak to the SENCO about this, ensure that the class teacher attends along with the teaching assistant & as many of the professionals involved with your child as possible.  Or simply ask the SENCO to convene a meeting with yourself, the SENCO & the class teacher so you can go through the Statement, IEP, etc and come up with strategies to deal with the child's behaviour.  

If you haven't already made contact with the Parent Partnership you should do so, they offer independent advice to parents & can support you at meetings if you wish.  

http://www.parentpartnership.org.uk/

You could also try speaking to your special needs officer at the Local Authority or contact the Educational Psychologist.

Answer 5

if your son is autistic, he should have a statement of special needs and his teacher should be familiar with it and with his specific needs.

you said you've tried talking to the head and she was no help. i think you should try talking to her again and get the full story of what has happened. i'm sure the other boys were punished in some way, but the head might not want to discuss it because it's a confidential matter. Explain to her that you have issues with your son's teacher and that is why you are bringing the matter directly to her. if you try and talk to her again and you still feel you're getting nothing, you should talk to parent partnership, your LEA should be able to put you on to them.

hope it gets sorted out and that your son is happy.

Answer 6

You need to get documentation of your son being autistic.  The school should then make modifications for your son.  They should develop an individual educational plan for your son and recognize that he has a learning disability.  Once you have this documentation, the teacher is going to have to make modifications for him, but not until then!

Answer 7

The two are not, alas, mutually exlusive. It is possible to be autistic and behave like a brat

The teacher has to consider everyone who shares an environment with him.

Answer 8

You should go up to the school and explain to the teacher that he's austic, and what type of austim he has and everything and be calm about it, and ask her to explain exactly what happened between your son and the other two boys and ask her why your son was punished and not the other two, but if you feel like she's not coopertating and being completly honest or doesn't believe you that your son is austic then you should go to the principal or super indent or even school board if necessary and talk to them about it and have them talk to the teacher about it, and if you still get nothing, then maybe you should try home schooling him if possible or if you can't home school him for some reason then try putting him in a private school

Answer 9

You tell him to listen  $%%%&&** can you see he has autism he not a brat. Why dont you sue the school and the students.

Answer 10

Unfornunately,many teachers don`t know how to handle autistic students.My son is autistic,and goes to a special school.I`m not sure,I`d want to put him in the position of being,where he wasn`t wanted.What about home schooling.Have you ever looked into alternative therapies for autism?Nutritional suppliments can improve behavior and anxiety issues.Food additives and allergenic foods can aggravate the condition.Check out the Autism Research Institute.Some autism Bio-med groups on yahoo groups.

Answer 11

You wrote --  

the comment i was given by the head was i find we are all in to much of a rush to label our children i dont know anyone who would willingly taje on this label and found that comment a bit bezarre.

Schools say this kind of c**p because they will do anything and everything to get out of helping children.

I know you are not in US, but this might apply to your child -

In USA, a child who has an IEP plan can have the school do a 'FBA' functional behavior assesment'. This is testing to see what the childs behaviors are, why they are doing the behaviors ,etc.

The IEP team will then use the results of the FBA to make a BIP 'behavior intervention plan' using  POSITIVE  behavior strategies.  This means no more teacher saying child is bad, crazy, lazy, etc.

As far as I know this is the ONLY way you can get this to stop.

Write to the head of the special ed department of your city and ask for this eval to be done. In UK it is probably called by a different name, but I'm not sure what it is.

I'm not sure how it is in UK, but in US schools do not disclipline the bad kids because if they did they would not get funds (money) because of the NCLB law.

So they punish the GOOD kids instead.  IDIOTS.

Answer 12

The teacher has 29 other kids in her crappy little room. Give her a break.

Help the poor wretch every way you can!

And, give her some information on Autism. They didn't tell her anything about it in college. Now, she has to deal with something she knows nothing about, and do all her regular work besides.

Answer 13

Tell her straight up. She should understand.

Answer 14

They won't believe you that your son is autistic then go to the school and go to the school board, or the principles office and tell them your situation with the teacher(s).  If they cannot do anything about it.  Then he may need to transfer him to another school.  Or you may have to sue the school.

I hope this helps.

Answer 15

If your son has a statement and the school are not providing what the statement says they must in the way of support and help for your son, then the school is breaking the law. A ststemnt is a legal document and the school MUST provide what it says. It has nothing to do with whether they are 'too busy' to give children labels they are obliged in law to give him the support he needs.

The problem is, unless you were able to obtain independent assessments for your son during the statementing process which spell out exactly what his difficulties are, then the statement is probably vague and wriiten in such a way that you can neither prove or disprove that the school are doing what it says. The local authority educational psychologists are, on the whole, yes men, who have been told not to recommend anything which may cost the authority money, so they will leave out, for instance, the fact that your son should have teaching in small groups, a low arousal environment, integrated speech and language therapy...and it will probably say something like 'Fred should have access to 20 hours learning support a week'...all this means is that there is a teaching assisstant in the room so he 'has access' to her in the same way as the other children. Not much help at all.

As your son has a statement, then the teachers are obliged to carry out the interventions written in his IEP. They MUST do them, and you have a right to ask to see evidence that this is happening. They should be recorded as they happen and you should be invited to all IEP review meetings.

If your head teacher is not being helpful, you could try approaching the governor with responsibility for special needs in the first instsance and make it clear you are unhappy with what is happening. If this doesnt get you anywhere, then ring your parent partnership service or for truly impartial advice and organisation such as iPSEA or ACE (advisory centre for education). They can help you get your sons statement enforced and if necessary help you thro the emergency review process to get it improved or to get him a place at a more suitable school. If it is necessary to go to tribunal to achieve this they can also guide you thro this process. If despite all this the school will not support your son, then you will need to take legal action. Often a solicitors letter is all that is needed to show you mean business, but make sure you approach a specialist education solicitor. iPSEA or ACE should be able to give you a list of those in your area.

You are not a freaky overprotective mother..neither is your poor son a bother or a brat but it is almost impossible to change the attitude of mainstream teachers on this point. I know, I have been fighting the same battle for 2 of my sons, with one now happily settled in a specialist school but still struggling to get a similar placement for the other. I suggest that you arrange a meeting with the teacher and the headteacher taking with you an independent parental supporter and a hidden dictaphone(like Drs use, you can get them for £50 in currys,digital ones) to keep a record of the dis cussion for later use if necessary and for your own protection;we were wrongly accused of being aggressive and were able to prove that we weren't, and try to have a discussion with them pointing out your sons diagnosis and its implications for his behaviour. He is clearly acting out of fear and stress because he is not being properly supported. If they accuse you of being hysterical etc, say you are not and if they repeat the accusation you will consider it slander and will be taking action. They will soon shut up!

You and your son are in a very difficult situation and it may be worth thinking about whether he would benefit from a specialist school rather than mainstream because from our experience this kind of thing gets worse as they get older. Our eldest got excluded from Y3 because the school failed to support him at all to the point he lost it in class but it was the best thing that could have happened in the end. If you do want to move your son, get advice from iPSEA/ACE and DO get independent assessments done;ed psych, SaLT, OT to support your arguments or the authority will just give you more of the same rubbish.

Both of my older boys are Asperger and we have had the same criticism..brats, c**p parents etc but its not true. They have difficulties and need help just as much as if they were in a wheelchair..good luck, hang in there and be strong, you can get your son the help he needs but its a long hard battle.