How do i get over jealousy??

Question

I never thought i was the jealous type but I've looked deep down inside me & i'm extremely insecure & jealous about my partner. He's overseas atm too & that's making things worse. He's never given me any reason to feel like this appart from the fact that he is fun/flirty & attractive. Sometimes I even think he's too good for me. Do u think that is what is causing the jealousy. If so, how do i deal with it?

Answer 1

Jealousy comes from lack of confidence, so I would say to learn how to accept yourself for whatever flaws you might have and just roll with them. No one is perfect!

Once you become confident, that jealousy will definitely fade away.

Answer 2

Jealousy is perfectly natural, and everyone with a partner feels it. You really can't completely get rid of it, the only yhing you can really do is put a little more trust into your relationship.

Answer 3

I had the same problem. I always used to think my partner is up to no good. I changed but unfortunately if he is used to thinking you are jealous it's a hard perception to change. Just TRUST him. Although me and mine broke up while I'm oversees, I know I made the right choice but just letting it go and not thinking about the "what if's" but what the good things about the relationship are. You have a great connection, you love each other, he tells you, he makes you feel good... what more do you need? Trust that.  

Answer 4

A little bit of nervousness when your partner is overseas is natural, however trustworthy they are.  If you are feeling really bad about it though, the problem may be with the way you perceive yourself, especially if you're feeling he's "too good".  If you feel bad about yourself, then you feel like you don't deserve to be with someone attractive and then you start imagining losing them because that feels more appropriate with your lower self image.

You won't deal with it by telling yourself how wonderful and trustworthy he is - that will only increase the feeling that he's out of your league and thereby increase your anxiety.  You should work on improving your self esteem.  Go to a library and flip through some self help books.  Half of them are rubbish (that's why you should get them at a library, not buy them) but each one will usually have a few bits of good advice you can take on.  Even stuff like affirmations (ie telling yourself positive things) or other positive thinking strategies (eg making lists of good qualities about yourself or things you've done well in the last week) can help.

Answer 5

Trust your instincts. Are you able to communicate with him, still? Try talking to him about it, and see how he's doing. Tell him you love him and you miss him and ask him if there's anything you want to talk about. If nothing seems out of the ordinary and he says the same back to you, maybe you should look further inside yourself. It might be a trust issue, and if so, what reason has he given you not to trust him? If your instincts give you any reason at all, you should consider breaking off the relationship (unless it's marraige, I suggest couseling) because a relationship is built on trust and if you feel like you can't trust him, then that's not a very good thing. If you decide that you're the one with the problem and he has nothing to do with it, then maybe you should consider counseling, or just looking inside yourself to figure out why you are having these issues.

Best of Luck!

Answer 6

There is absolutely no one defining answer anyone can give you.  Everyone is unique and different.  Jealousy is a built in defense mechanism but it can and should be controlled.

There are not enough details available for one to expand on solutions.

It would not hurt to explain these feelings to him.  It should be automatic for him to want to subside your fears.  That will go a long way...

You also need to look into doing some relaxation exercises and some meditation.  When you are separated and these types of anxieties come your way you need a way to vent them.  "Hold your arms above your head high in the air and take in some deep breaths"  Then start to think about you and your partner's future plans.  Keep yourself busy.

Answer 7

Your jealous stems from your insecurity.

Some people are just generally jealous/insecure.

Try to ask yourself why you feel jealous of him. Do you feel he's liable to cheat? Are you upset that he is away? Are you jealous of his career/life/friends?

In a partnership, you have to be happy for the other person and vice versa.

Jealousy can def be a dealbreaker in relationships so try to work on it.