How do i get over putting my sister into a coma? i feel like im going to have breakdowns bc of it

Question

im 18 years old and my sisters been in a coma for about a half a year now. we got in a bad car wreck and it was all my fault :( when i talk to her i cry and say sorry then i seen tears come down her cheek, so does that mean she can here me? also how can i try to forgive my own self. i got my sister like this and i can't get over it. she has always been my little princess as my sister and i can't bear to lose her especaially because of me. what do i do? they said theres no hope for her. we always got a long and had a blast. everyone older than her like my friends are just drawn to her. she brightens a day up when its bad.

Answer 1

it was not ur fault, even if it was ur mistake. god wanted her in heaven, if it wasnt her time god would of made a diffrent outcome. god want her as a angel and she will come down and watch over you. just prey! =]

Answer 2

Sweetie, where are your parents in all this? The three of you (or two, if that's what you have) should try to be as close as possible to support each other. You are laying a huge guilt trip on yourself. Please understand that it was an accident, and your love for your sister hasn't changed. Please understand that you also deserve to be loved, and you must move past the trauma this is causing you. There are wonderful free services available, whether it is guidance counseling or grief counseling, or support groups. Ask a nurse on the floor where your sister is staying, for a list of support groups and professional counselors.

Please take advantage of their services, you need help just to move forward with your life.

My best to you.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry, honey. You should try and find a support group or a therapist to help you with your feelings. You might be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/po...

  and a symptom of that is "survivor's guilt". You need someone to talk to.

Answer 4

Wow, you do have, how can I say this sincerely and with feelings of real empathy, an emotional burden very difficult to bear.  Forget, if you can, that the accident is your fault.  Are you certain it was your fault?  Didn't the other driver contribute to the situation?  Usually nothing, nothing in life is all one person's fault.  It takes two to tango.  Fault needn't be anything to dwell on now anyway because the accident is a thing of gthe past, try to put it behind you as much as you can and move ahead.  This is all easy to say, harder to do.

You can be certain she hears you and forgives you, those tears didn't just happened because you were there.  No hope?  Well maybe, but maybe not.

Maybe you will never get completely over it, I doubt you will get completely (COMPLETELY) but time will help heal.  Take deep breath and visit her as often as you can emotionally handle it.  Talk to her about your day, read her favorite funnies to her, tell her about a movie or TV show you saw, tell her jokes, and if you cry that's OK because she's crying with you and she forgives you, remember that.  If you know  what's happening with a person she absolutely cannot stand, go into great detail about him or her and laugh.  If you can feed her, do it.  Can you wheel her onto an outdoor balcony for fresh air and sunshine?  Maybe you can be trained to exercise her arms, legs, fingers, toes and whatever her medical staff says is good.  Come to think of it, just go ahead and hold her hand and exercise her fingers.  That may be difficult but then all what you're doing is difficult and advance as best you can.  It's you two into the future together.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry. This is a horrible situation, but you can use it to help others. First of all, you should seek grief counseling, if you haven't already. Keeping a daily journal is also really helpful to get your feelings off your chest and sort through your issues. Unfortunately, what's done is done, and the best thing you can do is to move on and learn to forgive yourself. You have learned the hard way, but you can help others. You can start an awareness program on teen driving, or find an existing program and speak on its behalf. You could go to high schools and middle schools and educate others on the risks of driving and share your story. I'm sure it would help you overcome this if you knew that you were part a movement to stop this from happening to others. You can also take up other community service opportunities. Maybe take up a cause you know your sister was interested in? If she always loved animals, you could volunteer at animal shelters or animal rights groups. Doing good and bringing awareness to your sister's story will help you overcome your guilty conscience AND have a positive effect on the community. You can't take back what has happened, but you can do your best to give back and make valuable contributions to society. And remember, there is always a chance your sister will survive the coma. You have to keep hope alive for her. It may be rare, but these things do happen.  

Answer 6

That's a really hard situation.  You have got to forgive yourself.  You didn't do it on purpose and you can't change it.  Beating up on yourself isn't doing you or your sister any good.  I believe she can hear you when she's in a coma.  I have always heard that people can hear you.  I would suggest you sit with her, tell her how much you love her, tell her how sorry you are and ask her if she can forgive you.  Maybe ask her to blink to answer your question.  Have you talked to your parents about it?

Answer 7

Were you drunk or on drugs or doing something stupid? then it's not your fault, it was an accident and it's going to be hard but you mustn't blame yourself so much, I know that's hard but it will not help her.

Studies show that people who are talked to while in a coma quite often can hear you even if they don't respond, but you said you were told there was no hope, did they establish brain death? if not there is still hope - but it s wise to prepare yourself for her passing and try to make peace with yourself, you didn't do it on purpose.

Its going to be hard but you have to come to terms with it and move on. You survived and you are important and beautiful and full of light too.

Answer 8

I didn't know you could cry when you were in a coma....