How do i get over this emotional pain?

Question

First i want to make it clear i am not posting this question for sympathy or anything like that, i really need help. when i was 6 years old my Dad's half brother "assaulted" me and i went to counselling and all of that and i am able to calmly discuss the matter with my family if for some reason it gets brought up but when i am alone i am nearly at breaking point. I have got so much sadness and pain that will not go away. My question is how can i get it to go away? I have not seen him in nearly 12 years... would it help if i confronted him? Please give me some advise. Thanks

Answer 1

Why don't you send him a letter. It might make you feel better to vent. But be sure not to encourage him to respond. And don't make it threatening...he could use it against you. You could also get involved in helping other girls/women that have been through similar situations.

Answer 2

i have to be honest i have never been assaulted that way, but i think it depends on the man. is he still a creep. would he even care if you talked it out (maybe slapped him) sometimes people do things and feel really bad (God no, dont think he should be patted on the back) but maybe he feels bad and wishes he could tell you he is sorry. then i say yes it would help to get it out. but if you know he is still doing that and he is a jerk, why bother you will just be more upset. my best friend was molested by a family friend for years, but as time goes by you try to deal with it the best you can, counceling is good, but how long do you need to talk about it (not being mean) remind yourself when you think of it, that you did not do anything wrong, and he can not hurt you anymore. know that you would never do that, and you are a good person and be happy with yourself. anyway thats my advise good luck to you

Answer 3

ive been through something like this i dealt with it at the time i talked about it and i cried but there is a point in life when you just have to stop thinking about it dont let it take over your life because then your giving him the power of breaking you down hes not worth it just move on with life when your alone keep yourself busy watching tv reading whatever

good luck when you overcome this youll be stronger  

Answer 4

kick, cry and scream it out. Imagine he's sitting infront of you and beat the **** outta him... you'll feel betta after that.

Answer 5

I really cannot empathy with you to give you any advice.

I was a very lucky person ALL of my life if I stay to think deeply,

as I had the wisest mother on Earth "always" close to me through advise and her self example.

Have you tried to paint, write poems or short novels, or do anything you may love to do as a hobby, to have your psychic at the highest level of love and adoration for something good - go to a church, do something to help others, etc. ???

I can give you a link though and you'll have a very precious help:

http://www.fanstory.com/selectprofilebio...

(I'll be right back, with extra info case you cannot contact her, I'll do it.)

Answer 6

As you already know, this is a complicated issue. You stated you went to counseling but you didn't say you completed counseling. If you're not in counseling, I would strongly suggest you return.

Would it help to confront him? That would depend on what you are trying to accomplish by doing so. Merely confronting him will not make the sadness and pain go away. It may clear your mind as to why he violated you. Do you want to press charges now? In most American states, there is no statute of limitations on sexual assault on a child. If that is your plan, you must be very careful when planning your confrontation. I was only able to confront one of 7 who sexually assaulted and/or raped me as a child between ages 7-20. It helped me because the person took ownership. I'm not sure what would have happened had he not. I was also in weekly counseling with an extremely competent, caring, Christian psychologist at the time.

Writing is very cathartic, as i_c_y's empathy told you. Fanstory.com has numerous writers who have similar experiences. I would invite you to go to the site and read from my portofolio (Rdfrdmom2) pieces such as Reunited, Cries in the Dark, Little One, Self-Inflicted, and anything else which may catch your attention. Other writers such as blah blah blah, Artasylum, serenityjs, sleep, etc. will also offer great sources of information.

If you will email me at my regular address: [e-mail] and note you got my address from here, I will send you a copy of my book of poetry on this issue, my testimony, and other information you may find useful. I would also suggest you check out the following websites:

www.h-e-a-r-t.info and R.A.I.N.N.

I hope you find this information useful. Please contact me again at the email address I have provided; at fanstory.com; or on this site. Thank i_c_y's empathy for having me contact you. I wish you Godspeed.

Rdfrdmom2

Answer 7

I'm not sure if you mean assaulted or sexually assaulted, but whats done is done.  you can't change it, it is the past, so don't let it continue to keep you down.  you have to realize that people in your future wont necessarily care about what happened to you, and neither should you.  if someone wronged you, and you continue to allow them to hurt you, how much damage are you allowing them to continue to do to you?

Answer 8

wowwwww. that is so sad. even though you have received counseling, i think that you are still in pain because you don't feel complete. a part of you most likely wants him to beg you for mercy. you want him to realize what he did, how its making you feel, and the fact that it hurts you. i want you to confront him. even if it does not go the way you plan or he does not apologize, he deserves to be looked in the eye and confronted. you should look him straight in the eye and just empty everything you feel and have been through. it will definitely impact him. i think that's your first step to recovery. facing the one that did that to you. if he is sorry, then continue with your counseling, it will help because you would be in a new chapter and things might go well from there. if he doesn't, you will still be in a new chapter knowing that you faced him. but the true improvement starts from within. clear your thoughts and work on yourself. a man like that does not deserve your happiness, so you make sure you do whatever to get that back. (nothing illegal OK?). GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

you are holding on to the anger and resentment.  YOu have to first forgive God for allowing this to happen to you, then forgive yourself for putting you through so much agony and pain. Then lastly, forgive him.  and cut him off, don't see him, no need to.  YOu can confront him.....mentally, go out in the woods or some secluded area and CUSS HIM OUT yell scream kick, get it all out, then come home and feel refreshed.  Let what he did go...it's the past.  If we constantly look behind us we will never be able to move ahead.  

My mom verbally abused me for years, still affect me.  I was 18 and turned into an acholic JUST  to cope with daily functions.  then I sat down with the right person and told me what I am telling you.  Let it go, and move on.  People are people and selfish.  They never take the time out to think how their actions oneday could ruin another persons life.

Answer 10

I can sympathize as something similar happened to me. it is hard,but, sometimes you need to stay busy in your life in order to not think about it. you need to put it somewhere in the back of your mind & leave it there. I know this is easier said than done, but, it worked for me. everyone has to make peace on some level with their demons. you are the only one who knows where that place is for you that you can live with. good luck to you sweetie!