How do i go about adopting my neice and nephew?

Question

long story short i am in the military. just married and expecting one of my own. my sister had passed away in december, her husband got into a car accident two years ago now he is paralyzed from the neck down but still alive. my wife and i moved from florida to adopt my niece and nephew. we are all currently living with my mother. we have been here for about 6 months. my niece and nephew's father cant raise his kids. my question is how do i go about adopting these kids as nicely as possible? we are not quite sure how the father is going to take it, but from the looks of it there may be a battle. can someone shed some light on our situation and let us know what our odds are for being able to adopt these kids?

Answer 1

If he doesn't want you to adopt the kids, I don't think you are ethically in the right.  I am sorry.  I know you want to do the right thing, but this isn't it.

I would think you should be able to help him raise his kids (IE move him and the kids in with you and your family so you can help him out).  

If he is going to put up a fight with the adoption, adoption is obviously not something you should be forcing on him.  

He lost his wife, he doesn't need to lose his kids too.

Answer 2

If it looks like there's going to be a battle, than it's not worth your efforts to get embroiled in it. The father is suffering enough, he's entitled to enjoy whatever part of raising his children he can be. nothing replaces the true love and bond of a biological father, and as physically unavailable he may be to his children, he can still be there for them emotionally and psychologically.

Answer 3

I imagine that those children are all that poor guy has right now.  He  lost his wife and then his health....and now you want to take his kids too?!  Wow.  That's cold.  I understand that you want to help but can you not care for the kids without adopting them? Separating a family that has experienced so much devastation could shatter them.  Remember, the kids have also experienced profound loss, and no matter what situation their dad is in, they will want to be with him.  Please think about what is best for them.

I currently have my niece and nephew who also lost their mother.  Their dad is a drug addict and, despite the fact he cannot father them, they want to be with them, they worry about him, and they fear losing him because they have already lost their mother.  Bottom line, parents are irreplaceable.  If you love these kids you will do all you can to keep this little family together.  

Answer 4

Can you not come to some type of arrangement where you are not severing the father's rights - something like guardianship perhaps.

These children have already tragically lost their mother.

Their father has been hurt beyond repair.

These children don't need to be ripped away from all that they know and love.The have lost so much already.

You sound as if you want these kids so badly - you don't seem to really care about what THESE kids really want themselves.

They will one day grow up - and want to know where they came from.

You are making decisions for them - that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Children need to grow up around those that they a bio related to - for better emotional and psych well being. For better sense of self - and self worth.

Please don't try to rip this family apart.

They have had enough tragedy in their lives.

How about helping - rather than trying to feather your own nest.

THAT would be the right thing to do.

Why do you want to rip them away from all they know??

Answer 5

He would have to sign over all parental rights to adopt.  This isn't going to be a wam-bam and done deal in a matter of a few days.

You can just get gaurdianship of the kids, you don't need to adopt them.

Answer 6

Why do you have to adopt them?  Why can't you just have legal guardianship?  Do they NEED to be legally tied to you, with false paperwork deeming you as their biological parents, for the rest of their lives because their parents aren't able to care for them?  And...uh...if he fights you for his kids...might I remind you, they're HIS kids?  He doesn't have to hand them over to you, especially if you plan on erasing his name from their lives legally.  If he's ok with you taking care of his kids, just get guardianship so that you can take them to the doc and whatnot.  You don't need to go through the whole adoption process just to take care of his kids.