How do i go about getting custoday of my son who has been taken by child services from his mom.?

Question

a year ago my stupid, ***** of a ex girlfriend lost her child to the state of kentucky (louisville) due to dumb descions and yet to get him back. well i dont know for sure if hes mines or not neither does ****. i didnt sign the bith certificate. but i would like to have a dna test taken to see if he is mines. because if he is i sure as h**l dont want him in states custody. How can i go about doing this and would they be able to set us up wit a free dna test to see?

Answer 1

Find a lawyer who is a specialist on family law there in Louisville---he/she will get you started on the process.

If you need a list of names of these, go to the County courthouse there and ask the Family Law office in the Courthouse for a list of lawyers.

Answer 2

Hi there! Well, didn't you get the luck of the draw today.

I'm about to tell you everything you need to do. Then I'd like an apology about State's custody and foster parents. I know, so I'll wait until the end, to explain that part and ask for it too.

You'll want to print this out, or write it down.

The first thing you are going to do is contact the cabinet in Louisville and get in touch with your child's worker. That worker is the same worker as your ex-girlfriend. You should be able to reach them by calling the 595-kids number, and referencing your childs name. They will then put you through to the childs worker. Tell them who you are, and that you believe you may be the father. You may have to leave a voice mail, make sure you leave a number that is current where you can be reached at any time.  She is going to have questions like where you've been, how you heard about this, why you are coming forward now.

The DNA test you are asking about. From my understanding it is free. You will make an appointment with the child Support office downtown. I can't remember the street. Now, what has to happen here, is that the foster parents have to take the baby in, and you have to go in as well. Because the baby is already this old, you need to get on this. Time is running out quickly. It takes a while to get the DNA test back.

The courts can appoint you an attorney. I'm not sure how that is done, or when it's done. But it is of no charge to you. Your attorney will be different than your ex-girlfriend because you are not together and have different interest.

As for the Cabinet, you are not showing up and saying I'm the father, that's my baby, and taking a child home. You will under go home studies, drug screenings, back ground checks, supervised visitations, etc. to see if you are a fit parent and if the child would be okay in your care.  The problem again, you have very very little time to do this in.

There is something I would beg you to think about. I'm a foster/adoptive parent. When the State has custody, they don't just lock these children in a room, and throw away the key. There are many people just like me that open our hearts to these children and as time goes by we begin to let our guards down more and more. We become attached to these precious children, as they become attached to us. We become Mommy and Daddy and they our sons and daughters. For many that is all they've ever known. We've stayed up at night with them, we've rocked them to sleep, we've watched them sleep, we've watched them grow. They've become children of our hearts, members of our families. We love them unconditionally. We would do anything for them.  Please think of this child, and the family that he knows as his. He doesn't know any different. He's bonded to them.

If you have concerns because they are a foster home, I'm sure that they would be willing to meet with you and discuss any concerns you may have.

I realize that he's your son. I know that you need to do what you need to do. Please don't do so though because you have a misconceived notion about foster care.

As I sit here with tears in my eyes, hoping to the heavens that you are not the bio-father of my youngest. I just don't think I could take that. I love him too much. He's family, and he's my world. I can't imagine not having him in our lives.

I'm curious as to how it works out, and what you decide to do. So please keep us updated. Thank you.

Answer 3

If she lost the child a year ago why has it taken you so long to attempt to get him? Even more why has it taken you so long to pursue a dna test?  If you truly cared about the child you would have had a dna done straightaway after birth or at the very most as soon as you knew he had been taken from her and placed in state custody.

Answer 4

If her rights are terminated they have to do a diligent search for all possible fathers.  Which means they have to try and locate any one she informs is possibly the father.  As a suspect you can contact the department and request custody.  They will most likely do a home study, so your chance may be decent.  I do not think they will pay for a paternity test, either you want to accept responsibility or not.

Answer 5

contact the agency that removed him. Let them know that you may be the father but aren't sure but would like to take custody if he is yours.  They prefer the kids be with family when possible so they will probably work with you.  You may have to pay something on the DNA test but other than that they can decide if they want to investigate you and possibly award you custody.  He would probably get a GAL assigned and the GAL would look into you and make sure you are fit and able.  Is he in foster care or is he living with relatives?

Answer 6

DHR should be able to help you. It takes years to terminate parental rights if they were taken by child services so you still have time to do something about it. Now if it was done by private adoption then most states have punitive father registries (30 days) and then you would not be able to get your son. Yet, if he is in foster care, you have a great chance of getting him. Good luck.

Answer 7

well, the state might provide you with a dna test if you are stepping up to the plate to be responsible for the child. Also, it is in the child's best interest to go to a parent or family members before the state puts them into a home so if you go and get ahold of CPS in Kentucky where he is listed with they will provide you with a test and most likely give you custody because that is what is best for the child and since you have gone through all of that work it proves to them that you are stepping up to be responsible and take care of your son.

Answer 8

Contrary to some of these posters, you don't have to prove a lot.  

Your best bet is to first contact Social Services and find out the process to take the DNA test.  Once you have done this, then either with or without a lawyer, you have to explain to the judge why you took a year to contact them.  I know you don't want to pay for the DNA test if the kid isn't yours, but you will likely have to pay half of it anyway. Plan on it.

My childhood friend didn't even know he had a son. She didn't put him on the birth certificate even though their divorce wasn't even final yet.  It was sheer luck that he found out about him. The judge didn't put him through a bunch of hoops. Prove you have a home, a job and he's yours (didn't need DNA then since legally, the kid was his anyway, but you need that extra step).  If you have no arrest record, they want him in your custody pretty quickly.

Answer 9

I would go to your local social services office. If you tell them your situation, they should help out with free services to number 1- find out if the child is yours, number 2- determine whether you have a fit home, a job, a babysitter, etc. Most likely, if you are the father and you have a good home, they will give him to you. They are just looking out for the best interest of the child. Depending on what your ex did, they may determine that you are the best thing for him. You can also apply for assistance with your rent, electric and gas bills, food, and day care. Depending on your money situation, you may get some aid with these, being that you will be a "single" father.

To get started, like I said, contact your local social servies office and ask to be assigned a "case worker." This one person will help you with every single thing you need to do in order to get him back. Good luck. You can e-mail me if you have any other questions.

Answer 10

You can contact your state's Child Welfare office at

   KY Paternity Acknowledgement Program  

   [phone]

   Information on establishing paternity voluntarily.

or go to the website at:

http://chfs.ky.gov/dcbs/dpp/Foster+Care+...

for more info.

I hope this helps!

Answer 11

I would contact the social services worker who took the baby if not just call social services and let them know you may be the father.I am not sure it differs from st to st on paying for dna i would think if judge orders it or there is question st would pay but prices have come down and theres only two of you...to test.You will have to set it up with the social worker anyway she will tell you the best cheapest method most of them do not want the child to be placed in foster they want to leave it with parent or family..DNA is soo easy now with just swipe of the mouth...no trouble for the baby..call her tomorrow though..dont wait they will question as to why you are just stepping forward now!!!

YOU DO NOT NEED LAWYER!!! IVE BEEN THRU THIS do not waste your money there these people are wrong..ive been in this position with daughter .....

Answer 12

I would hire a lawyer and have them send a letter to the state asking that a paternity test be done to determine if the child belongs to you.  If he/she does, you should be able to petition the state for custody.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 13

And you are waiting a year to find out how to get him back... Try going to cps and see what they say...Just be prepared because they will probably want to know why you have waited a year to try to get him back...

Answer 14

First, if you're really serious then get a d**n DNA test whether it's free or not. Furthermore why didn't you sign the birth certificate, was it not so important to you at the time. Were you there for the birth? Why did it take a full year for you to become so concerned?

It might sound harsh what I have said, but because of your confessed action I am compelled to question your motives. I've seen alot of bad parenting. Will you be able to satisfy your kid's needs materially and emotionally. If you're all that serious why haven't you spoken to the agency that is holding your aledged child, or consulted a lawyer about it. My child is too important to me to ask for advise from Y. answers. If your exgirlfriend is so ***** stupid then why did you lay and make a baby to begin anyway. That's really smart to label her in such a way to folk that know neither one of you. I think you need to check your own d**n self because a child isn't any thing to play with...wanting and saying you want to do the right thing isn't doing it. If you aren't 100% sure you want to care for this child he may be better left in the hands of others...think about that...

Answer 15

Contact state services and let them know that you believe your son is in their custody.  Let them know that you need to know what your rights are and how to move forward w/ the case.  Of course, you will also want to let them know that a DNA test will need to be ordered.  Pick up the phone, make the call.  Good luck.

Answer 16

Contact the agency who has your maybe son and preceed from there and request dna testing to find out if he is your son. Best Wishes and God Bless!

Answer 17

If he has been in state custody for a year and they have no contacted you that is wrong!  Maybe your ex didnt tell them you were the father, but before they let them stay in foster care and esp before they allow him to be adopted they have to try to find his father.  

They can line you up in a dna test to see if he is yours, and then after that they will just make sure that you are stable enough to take care of him.  After that there is no reason why the state would no allow you to take care of him.  Contact your local DSS or CPS and let them know who you are and what the name of the child is that you believe to be yours.  From there they should be able to help you out!

Answer 18

This same thing happend to me. You will have to pay the state for a paternity test. Then you need to get a hold of the case worker for the child if they are yours and talk to them. They will help you get the ball rolling in court and you need them on your side cause what they say the judge will go for. Good luck to you.

Answer 19

contact socila services they should be able to help you... they really don't want to have to pay for that child to be in state custody  it cost money but neither do they want him neglected...

I think finding out would be the thing to do... that takes a real man!! best of luck!

Answer 20

you have to get a lawyer, file a petition with the court. and see what they say. you will have to do a dna test.. and most likely pay for it.. and the court cost.. but if this is your kid then it is worth a fight..



and why after an entire year are you only now trying to do something?? cause just so ya know the court will ask the exact same thing.. so be prepared, and they will put you under a microscpe as well. so again, be prepared and get a lawyer..

Answer 21

First prove he's yours...then prove you can take care of him.

Answer 22

I would contact the agency that has him at explain to them that there is a possibilty that this child is yours. Then demand a Paternity test. I think that by law they at least have to entertain the idea that you could be the father.

Does the birth certificate have a fathers name on it?

Answer 23

~The word is "lawyer".  If you were sincere, you'd have done something long ago and you wouldn't be asking for advice on this site.

Answer 24

Probably not a free paternity test, but a lawyer should be able to file a paternity suit and get a dna sample from you and the child, although I have to wonder what kind of a father waits a year after his possible son has been placed, possibly for adoption, in a foster home. Obviously you have not had a burning desire to visit and be with your son. That will not impress a judge if you go for custody, assuming the child has not been adopted yet.