How do i handle my young adult daughter,whom i have found again after 13 yrs missing.?

Question

she left at 10 years of age to stay with her father . she never was returned. now it is 13 years later and i found her on the internet. the trouble i am having is ,she is angry with me. she doesn't want to talk to me but she does want to talk with her stepsister. i am confused.

i have pleaded with her on the internet to call me, even gave my address to her. i finally told her i was sorry for the past. can anyone give some advise if i did the right thing.?

Answer 1

Did you give her to her father or did she want to go?  You have left out a lot of information that we needed to know in order to answer this question with any degree of intelligence.  Our answer would be purely guessing at the circumstance surrounding why she was missing for 13 years.

Please do an edit and tell us what really happened then we will answer you question.

Answer 2

Wow, sounds like your heart is breaking.  It also sounds like you have already done a good job at letting her know you want the connection back with her.  I would lay low and let her think for a while.  If you keep at it, it may annoy her and make her run the other way.  This could take a couple years, but just send a birthday card and Christmas card with a short note that you are thinking of her and there for her if she wants to just say "hi".  Make it seem like it would be a pleasant experience to talk to you.  You are probably a stranger to her after all this time and the two of you need to build on that slowly.  Don't blame dad...she will be very protective of him.  Keep talking postive to your stepdaughter about your daughter, she will drop hints to her too, without you even telling her to.  If you do talk to her, tell her things that you remember doing with her before she left, fun things that the two of you shared.  Maybe it will jog her memory about how close you both were.  Good luck!

Answer 3

Carol you have done all that is right...not knowing your past with her  what is it that she is  so mad at you about......let her talk to her step sisters and talk to them ......maybe they can find out ...what r u sorry for being human....don't be... you r 2 separate people  now and not mom and daughter ....... so just relax let nature take its course and se what happens

                 from a dad who is now after 19 yrs being a friend to his daughter  

Answer 4

What if she's not your daughter?