How do i have my brother committed to a hospital for drinking and drugs when is not willing to get help?

Question

my brother is in desperate need of some kind of counseling. he is an alcoholic and drun addict who becomes beligerent and some times has violent tendences.he knows he needs help but is not willing to get it. he has given up rights to both of his boys knowing he is not stable enough to care for them. he is not stable enough to care for himself. does not keep a job for long. usually long enough to get a couple of checks then drinks them up. i love him and want to help him. he could be a great person. thanks

Answer 1

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do for him until he decides he wants help.  Unless he is suicidal or homicidal or nonfunctional, he cannot be committed against his will.  Even if you can get him committed, the changes will not last if he is not willing to make it work.  The best way for you to help him is to go to Al-anon meetings and talk with other people in similar situations.

Answer 2

You have some very good answers to your question and some people with a lot of personal experience in this area have answered you.  There is one thing you can do.  When he is totally under the influence and fried out, you can call the police and have him taken into protective custody.  They can do a 3 day mental health hold on him during which time he can be evaluated.  From there, he could be let go or the court could commit him to treatment.  You can also do what is called a "12 step call" where you call alcoholics anonymous in your area and they will send someone out to talk to your brother and, hopefully, help get him into treatment.  Treatment may help and it may not.  Usually people have to hit bottom before they really try to get help.  If he has been arrested and is on probation, his PO can make him go to AA.  If he has a PO, call him/her and talk to him about your brother.  Good luck.  (and go to Alanon - it will really help you)

Answer 3

Wow.. I`m so sorry to hear this .

He is not willing to listen? Well first u have to find out the problem that has been stuck in his heart till he is not willing to open up.

He has to be emotionally stable before he gets a job or someone new.

Try sending him to training centres.. He has to mix with people which is somehow like this and learn together to solve this because to him is like no one can understand unless u have the same problem that he has gone through.

You can help him by taking care of his boys too.

But please do teach him a lesson to make him realise

He really needs to grow up.

Answer 4

There is nothing you can do, he won't listen to you because these things are fun to him and he can't see how they're affecting him.

I know it's hard to watch someone you love go through that. When he reaches rock bottom, he will realise that he needs help. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that you all love him and are there for him. That way, when he needs it, he will be more likely to come to you. It's horrible wanting to help someone more than you can, but there's only a certain amount you can do. If he won't get himself help then you just have to keep loving him until he decides he needs it. Nothing you say will change his made at this point and it's going to be his decision when he wants help - like it or not, I'm afraid.

I've been in both yours and your brother's situation. My Dad died when I was 13 and I started drinking and taking drugs. By the time I was 14, I was a heroin addict and a heavy drinker/smoker. I was a horrible person - I was violent and did whatever I could to get money, I even mugged people. My older brother did everything he could to get me to stop, but of course I didn't listen. The moment I realised how bad it was, I went to my family for help because I knew they were there. My son was born when I was 17 and I needed to get clean to be a good Dad. I was schizophrenic and depressed and had really sunk lower than anything, I was at total rock bottom. I know how much I hurt my family, but I'm so thankful that my brother stuck by me.

I went through it all again with my little sister, she started taking drugs and staying out late partying. I did my absolute best, because I'd already been through it myself. She killed herself two weeks ago.

When someone turns to drink/drugs, it's usually because it's an escape from something else. They then become dependent on it and don't realise how much it damages them, because for a short amount of time it relieves the pain they feel. It's a vicious circle and it's horrible for friends and family. Make sure he knows that you're there and that you love him. Where is he getting his money from, if he can't keep a job? If you've been lending him money, don't. He will soon enough realise that he can't carry on the way he is, you just have to keep encouraging him to get help. He needs time and space, it's hard to let go but it's true. Stick by him, you love him and want to do what's best. Encourage him all you can - take him to the doctors, bring him leaflets on addiction, offer him whatever you can. Tell him that it'll be fine and you're always there. He might not agree straight away. He will in his own time, though.

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I commend you for being such a loving sister. Good luck, I hope it all gets better soon.

Answer 5

Sadly, you can't do much more than love him.  If he's not willing to get help for himself, then he's not willing to commit to being clean.

Answer 6

I am so sorry for your situation. My husband was an alcoholic, so I know how much you want to help and how helpless you feel.

But according to the law, you can't insist that he gets treatment unless it's proven that he is dangerous to himself or someone else. And since he's given up rights to his children, unless he starts talking about suicide or starts being physically abusive to others, there's not much you can do.

OR: if he's gotten a DUI or disturbed the peace and the police had to be called, he could be ordered to AA meetings by a judge.

You don't mention whether or not you've gone to Al-Anon meetings. They're 12-step meetings designed after the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, but are for family members and friends of alcoholics. Why they're so helpful is they provide a safe, supportive place to talk about what you're going through and discover what has worked for others.

Nar-Anon works the same way, but in my town, I prefer the Al-Anon meetings. Link below. I hope you go to at least six meetings. There's no judgment from anyone at the meetings; they're all there for the same reason you are.

The link will put you in touch with meetings in your area. Your brother's children may be at an age where they could benefit from Al-a-Teen. I don't remember what the minimum age is, but I don't think they have to be teen-agers. You could ask one of the numbers provided on the website, or call the Al-Anon World Service Center and ask for their Al-a-Teen dept. Alcoholism and drug addiction have such huge repercussions within the family, but many families aren't even aware of these wonderful programs (Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Al-a-Teen)>

One thing you could try - and you can find out about this through Al-Anon or a counselor or a pastor: doing an intervention. This is when friends and family confront the alcoholic/addict in a loving way and urge him to get the treatment he needs. With my husband, I kept waiting until he "hit bottom." But he never did - he committed suicide first.

Best of luck to you and to your brother!