How do i help my husband to understand that we will find his mother?

Question

My husband was adopted when he was three years old. He also has a step sister that was adoped at the same time. He only knows his mother's first name. He doesn't know where she is or even if she is alive. It really bothers him that he can't find out her last name or anything about that side of the family. How can i help him to see that we will find this out and may be one of these days he will get to meet her. This really gets depressing when he goes somewhere and see parent's sitting at a table and talking to there mother's and he has no idea who or what his mother even looks like. We really want to find her but it really costs alot of money just to find her. What can i do to help him find her to make his life complete....

Answer 1

Ask questions from the people who adopted your husband, maybe they know something on the whereabouts of his biological mother or they may even tell you what orphanage was your husband brought to prior to the adoption, what I mean is  try to begin from where it all started

Answer 2

you cant try people searches on line and reunion.com etc but without a last name this could be really hard.  the best thing i can suggest is to hire a private investigator. he could go to the hospital he was born in and try and find something out there.

Answer 3

When he really really gives up the idea he is not wanted, something new will appear. He could take on they are looking for him and he needs to make himself known. Make this a mission impossible game together, with the agreement nothing may ever be discovered.  

Answer 4

Did it ever occur to him that she might not  wish to be found??????

If it were me, and I gave up a child to adoption, (I'm now 57) it would be goddamn embarrassing to have someone at my door telling me they had tracked me down and They are the long lost baby I gave up..........   If I gave up a child, I gave up a child and all that went with it.  And if I hadn't contacted him by now, likely I didn't wish to.

Just a thought, hon.

His real love and trust is owed not to his biological mother, the egg donor, but to the loving parents who raised him.... has he forgotten that?  THEY deserve his love, devotion, admiration, and affection, and they alone.

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your husband's worry and stress over this situation.  It seems he's run short of patience.

I think that if he's destined to find his mother, it will happen.

I wish you all the best of luck.