How do i help my sister stop ruining her life with the choices shes making and keep our relationship?

Question

my younger sister recently moved away from home and is now living with a boyfriend who is encouraging her situation - she is dependant on her drug use (pot), living off of welfare, coming up with unexplainable amounts of money, always depressed but no motivation, college drop out, tons of debt, loser friends (all see nothing wrong with scamming the gov't and not being able to do anything without a joint)... shes always upset, developing anxiety about every little thing, shes avoiding her family, drinking all the time... nobody will say anything and i'm afraid that if i do she won't have me in her life...

this may not seem as serious as i know it to be, but this is a family pattern. she was not this person a year ago and we miss the old her

Answer 1

When a person is on drugs and believe they are doing what they want, they will not listen to anyone and won't take any advice so you just have to use tough love and stay out of her life.  I know it's tough but that'll work if you want her to come around, she will in time and maybe it would be a long time.  I would just write her a note and tell her you love her and that you'll be there for her if she ever needs you.  Good luck to you and bless you.

Answer 2

You have every right to be worried about your sister.  She is headed no where good.  It sounds like she needs an intervention.  Talk with your family and let them know your concerns and how dangerous it can be.  

I suggest you start attending some support groups for family members of drug addicts and get some advice and support from them.

Answer 3

it's her life. and if she doesn't want to change you can't make her. all you can do is love her and pray that she wakes up. if you're deeply concerned tell her how you feel (don't judge to harshly), tell her you love her and you will be there if she needs you, and also tell her that the family misses her being around. there might be some problems going on in her life that you guys don't know of and she's to afraid to tell you all about. good luck. i hope all goes well.

Answer 4

It's normal to want the old person that she was back. I think the best thing to do is sit her down and have a 1-on-1 conversation with her, and try to make her realize how bad she's actually hurting your feelings for doing what she's doing, and how bad things can turn out if she gets caught doing it.

Answer 5

I know this is going to be short but all you can do is allow her to make those mistakes and learn from them. All you can do is make sure you're there when she finally realizes all the wrong she's done and be there when she falls.

Answer 6

maybes shes acting like this because she has a black hole in her heart...she needs love from the family..the family should support her and persuade her not to be like this..if your family dont do anything and your the only person who is trying ....sorry i have to break this to you..but she will probz suicide herself..or get into a deepshit ..or even cancer..and she needs a better lifestyle..help her as soon as possible...she needs to be happy...

tell her to ask herself..why are you doing this to yourself??

tell her to ask her self questions ...maybes she scared of thing..,

move out to the contry side for a bit // ..or go on holidayy ... change

.you buy a flat with 2 rooms and get your sister to come and live with you..i know it will be hard but try and persuade her ...and when you two get together..talk with her ..keep your patience and act cool...dont act like you are very angry with her ..

scare her saying..you will get ill in the further if you keep this lifestyle up..and dont drink ...drinking cause lung cancer and that...or go to the doctor and get some leaftlets and give it to her ..or go to church and pray for her..

eat healthy.....

be happy....

massage your self..

make new friends

start over again ..

new house..

new people..

and at the end maybes a new job and a guy that will not take her for granteed ...and hopefully they will live happily ever after..and will have kids on their own...a beautiful wedding ..

ALL this will nice things will happen ONLY if you support heer and stick up for her...understand herr ..

or any of this wont happen okii ..

anyways i hope that helped you !!

good luck !

Answer 7

wat it is it that she likes bout her boyfriend? did everyone in your family get a long before?, i want to know because i also movd out...since i move out it would make me feel chill to hve my family talk to me....tell her you wanna meet him, that your interested in seeing who is making her happpy.....something like that so she can talk to yyou........like i said earlier i moved out young and i have learned a lot on my own but its good when ppl ask me about my bf.if you wanna talk more you can email me

Answer 8

My friend ran off with her boyfriend and did her family the same way. I kept trying to be rational with her, but people really do have to figure it out on their own. Don't be judgmental, but do remind her of who she used to be and give her lots of space and time to realize what she's doing.

Answer 9

Your sister has to go through her own tribulations in order for her to learn.  What we want for her is obviously not what she wants for herself.  She is the only one that can change her life.  Not you, your mom, or even children can make a person change.  They have to see that they are destroying their own life.  Just pray for her and do not be enable her.  Meaning don't support her.  There is help for family members that are going through an addiction.  Look on line.  Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

It may make her hate you but I think you should get her some help. As much as I hate cops, I think they may be able to help you if you ask. There needs to be some kind of major intervention here and if you're all afraid of losing her, you aren't helping her at all and you are NOT thinking about what's best for her. Get her the help she needs and from there, they should be able to help her get clean and find a job.  

Find a way to get the guy out of her life, along with the friends because they don't care about her at all. They are destroying her. Why isn't anyone saying something? Do they like her the way she is? If no one tells her anything she wouldn't be able to know that she's hurting people. If she doesn't wanna speak to you because you wanted to get help, that's fine. When she gets the help she needs, you can bet she will come back and thank you for it.

If you don't wanna do those things, you'll have to accept her the way she is and maybe realize that everyone changes. Some people change for the better and others for the worst. That's part of life and we all have to deal with the cards we are dealt.