How do i homeschool an intelligent child who doesn't want to do the work? help!!?

Question

When it come to things like math and writing, my 7 year old can do it, he just doesn't want to. It is very disruptive to my 6 year old daughter who actually tries, whether she understands or not. He's very smart, but, well, lazy. Any advice?

Answer 1

Perhaps this is not his learning style.  In public schools, teachers do have " alone" time learning, but much learning is interactive and provides oral explanatory development.  Math/science problems are solved in group  with various manipulatives, and most children learn better this way. Very rarely does a chid just sit alone with a problem.  Each child is held accountable for problem solving independently on tests, but much group work is done in labs and reading/writing groups and , of course, at computer stations.  Research supports that oral interaction is an important key to retention because students focus better and are not as apt to daydream.   Many public schools now view the teachers as more of a " coach".  Because your children are so close in age, maybe they could work on a project together that would incorporate math skills.

Answer 2

Ahh! We just have to love gifted children. What he is doing is trying to get your attention, although it is negative attention. This behaivor is on purpose to distract attention from his sister, whom it sounds as if you are schooling at the same time. If this is so, have you considered giving them each their own individual attention in schooling times? He could be jealous of the amount of time spent with his sister, and his disruption is his way of gaining that attention. By giving him attention when he is doing this, it is reinforcing his negative behaivor. Gifted kids are great at reverse psychology, so be watchfull!  It also could be that your 7 year old feels that he is old enough and smart enough not to be under your constant watch. It it is the work itself, have you tried Bright Minds (The Critical Thinking Company) products? Their websight has free demo software & printable samples. Gifted children get bored very easily, unless they feel mentally challenged by the work in front of them. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

He needs an attitude adjustment. He will only do this if you let him. If you aren't capable of "persuading" him to do it, then he should be in a regular school.

Answer 4

You could try and unschool him. Then he does the work he wants to do when he wants to do it.

Have him play by himself while you're helping your six year old with her math.

Answer 5

Perhaps the work is too easy so he's shutting down.  It may also be (or in combination with) that the methods you're using do not fit his learning style.  He and his sister may have totally different needs there.

As a mom of a profoundly gifted son, my number one suggestion is to find some way to work to capture his interest and do not have him do "busywork" just for the sake of doing it, or because your curriculum says he's "supposed to" do it.  Let him take a pre-test or jump to the test without all the learning steps.  If he's smart, he's not going to want to do that, or heavy repetition.

Answer 6

Maybe your 7 year old is not lazy but the work that you are giving him is too easy.  If your child is not stimulated by the work and it doesn't create a challange for him then he won't want to try, he won't have to.  Give him something on a higher level that will create a healthy challage for him.  

Also, try creating a real-world connection for him.  If you tell him why he needs to know this and how he can use it in "real life" he may have more of an interest.

Answer 7

First thing I was going to say is you need to find out why he won't do the work...not why people on yahoo, who don't know your wee boy, assume he doesn't want to do the work!

I don't know if he is yet mature enough to put his inner feelings into words for you but, if not, providing him with something like a "thought box" might help (if he doesn't have that sort of thing already!).

My one other thought was that maybe he 'doesn't want' to do the work, not because he's 'lazy' or has 'an attitude problem' or anything like that, but simply because, being an intelligent child, he finds the work he's asked to do too easy.

If he finds the work too easy, it's unlikely to motivate him or hold his interest for very long. Maybe you need to check that the work you set him is really at a level sufficiently in-depth to challenge him and you are not just asking/expecting him to do it because that is what is "age appropriate" or "grade appropriate"?  

Maybe the fact that he can do it (and he knows he can do it) is a pretty big part of the problem!

Answer 8

take away his privileges

Answer 9

Lori, she is too young to make the right decisions

Freedom is great, but do not misuse it!

Answer 10

Sometimes changing the curriculum helps stimulate a lagging child. Perhaps he needs more of a challenge or more physical activity. Try not to let his behaviors inhibit his sister.

Answer 11

Set him to himself, make him sit quietly(in another room if necessary) while you work with your six year old. Then take your seven year-old sit him down and tell him he may do his work or not, but he can not disrupt while you are helping his sister. Public school will not help, because he will just get in trouble there too. You may try to have activity that will make him learn something without realizing it ( i.e. counting money, telling time, reading labels with you, and have him write out the grocery list.) Although I have a difficult child, he does his work, because he has no choice if you know what I mean. If he doesn't, he gets in trouble, and still has to do it.

Answer 12

Do you know your son's learning style?  

Is he auditory - needs to talk as he works.  

Is he kinisthetic - needs to move as he works.

Is he visual - loves pictures, diagrams, etc

Is he analytical - needs and loves details

Is he global - hates details but sees the "big picture"

That's the joy of homeschool - we can teach and use curriculum that suits our kids.  If the curriculum you are using is plain, boring workbook based and your son is a mover who loves pictures then he'll be bored and have a tough time with those workbooks.

If he's auditory then making him sit quietly to do his work will make it very hard on him.

All 3 of my kids have different learning style.  Cynthia Tobias has a couple wonderful books about learning styles that are easy to read and understand and have helped me tremendously!

Answer 13

Someone I know took her kids out to the park.  After one subject was finished they could play for a while.  They made it a picnic.

Answer 14

I think the first place to start is what the other posters have suggested - that you make SURE the work is appropriate for his intelligence level, and that you aren't expecting too much in the way of his working alone or of his being still for long periods of time.

If you check these things out and find that the main problem is that this boy just does not want to work, then you need to work on his work ethic.

Now, bear in mind that boys are going to mature more slowly than girls; most hs'ed kids I know resist the work of hsing for awhile, but at some point they just buckle down and DO it.  My kids both decided when they were about 6 to just DO their schoolwork, and they are now young teens and it just has not come up again.  I do know PLENTY of hs moms, though, that are still struggling with this issue and their kids are nearly the ages of mine.  

Some things I did with my kids:

--make sure the thing you want him to do does not look impossibly long.  You could tell him, "There are 10 problems on your math paper.  If you get the first 5 right then I will know you don't need any more practice on this skill today."  This will motivate him to DO it.  

--you can set a timer for a particular task.

--you can put 2 pieces of candy where he can see them and tell him that if he finishes his schoolwork by _____ o'clock then he will earn a piece of candy for himself and for his sister.  [I've never thought it was fair to reward the kid that needs extra encouragement and not reward the one that is usually doing right on her own...]

Another thought is that if your son needs a boost on work ethic, then you have more opportunities to work on it outside of school hours.  Have him work alongside you for a time EACH DAY till he learns to do various tasks correctly, then assign some every single day.

If your son refuses a direct command to do something in school or while you are doing things around the house [this is as opposed to starting something you've told him to do then starting to daydream], then the problem is not work ethic - it is disobedience. If this is the case and you want to discuss things to do about it, please email me with some specifics.