How do i nicely tell my friend she needs to take care of her horse?

Question

well its my horse but were leasing it to her and i dont think she understands how much work goes into horses, she comes over and rides and then says she has to leave! so then i end up having to do all the other work, she never even brushes the horse, so how do i tell her she needs to do more then just ride, and how much should i make her do,shes only having to pay $10 a month to lease our horse so it seems like asking for a little help isnt a big deal right??

Answer 1

Well I think you definetely need to say something because she is taking advantage of you right now. She has been getting away with not fully taking of your horse and now thinks it's ok. I would just nicely tell her that when she's done riding your horse that she needs to brush him and put him away clean. You're not asking too much, and if she won't do it then you need to tell her that she can't lease your horse. I can't believe she's only paying $10 a month, she's not even covering the cost of hay so it can't be that important that she leases him.

Answer 2

just say friend you wasting your money on leasing my horse your not doing your job.

Answer 3

After her ride ask her what she has to do. If she doesn't answer then say that before she goes she has to take care of the horse. I would say that if she didn't start doing her job, I would stop leasing my horse out to her. Don't do it with a nasty attitude, just in a talking friendly tone. $10 a month doesn't seem like that much. I would raise the price to about 15 or $20 a month. You need to tell her in a nice way. Another thing I would do is not clean up and leave everything out and dirty. This might make your horse feel bad and you feel guilty, but it might show her that if she doesn't put stuff away, she gets to ride a dirty horse. I hope that this helps!

Answer 4

tell her the lease includes grooming and brushing the horse and make a list of things included in the lease or she can't lease the horse lol

if she was a good freind i'd be like brush your horse girl! and yeah i'd help her out if she had to leave but how close are you guys?

Answer 5

10 a month is EXTREMELY generous... so you need to say something like "hey ---... i noticed that every time you come out, you ride then leave. i wont let you lease my horse unless you start taking care of it. im already pushing it by making you pay almost nothing a month, and now you're making me do the work. i wont let you lease my horse unless you start doing what is needed"

you cant just be like "can you please take care of my horse"

when it comes to horses, and you're being so generous, she NEEDS to work, taking care of a horse is important, dont let her ride until she works

maybe even make her clean tack and stalls and let her know she's working so she only has to pay $10 a month

Answer 6

just say " if you cant devote the time for this horse, then you cant lease it." if somone did that to my horse i would go bug nuts. be polite at first but you might have to be stern also you could talk to yer parents or even her parents if it gets worse.

Answer 7

I hate to say it and don't feel too offended but it sounds like your friend is taking advantage of you. $10 a month is nothing. You are basically letting her ride your horse for free and doing all the work for her while she is showing up, riding as she pleases, and suddenly taking off when there is work to be done.

I understand that she is your "friend" but she is not acting like one. It's not only inconsiderate, if she's calling you her friend, don't you think she's being a bit manipulative? It sound's like there's unclear communication between you two leaving you feeling hesitant and unsure of sounding too "bossy" for something that is really a reasonable and necessary request. If I were in your situation I would feel a bit bullied and inconsidered. You should not have to feel that way. YOU are leasing YOUR horse and YOUR facilities to her for dirt cheap which seems like more of a nice favor rather than a business agreement.

However I understand you want to approach her in the most comfortable way for both of you being clear and reasonable about your requests which she should respect.

You have three interests to consider here. Your friendship with her, your horse's well being, and your own self interest here (taking on work that's not yours, cleaning up after her, and generally being nice enough to let her ride your horse.) Approach her in the most non threatening way possible. Maybe suggest how well she's been riding with the extra time on your horse, saying you're glad to see her today etc. Then tell her before she rides that you would just like to talk for a minute to clear some things up.

Let her know that you feel that things have maybe been a little unclear and you would just like to clarify what you expect from her. It's important that you be as non threatening as possible here. She is your friend but you want to make sure she knows that you expect some respect in return and that it is not ok to walk all over you when she uses the services of your horse.

Give her a brief overview of all the responsibility it takes to care for your horse and let her know that his/her well being is very important to you and should be to her if she is seriously going to lease him. As YOU already know and understand, owning a horse comes with much more responsibility and just riding him and throwing him back in his stall till next time. He needs more care than that. His health and happiness are your top priority (this also makes you sound less bossy. You're just looking out for your horse after all)

Then let her know that you expect a little more from her as far as horsemanship and that you would like to see her hold up her end of the bargain. If she wants to lease him and ride when she wants, there are expectations to be met. Try not to sound like you're accusing her of anything but I would be sure to let her know that you don't appreciate having the work dumped on you and that she needs to take some accountability for how she's treating you as a friend. Let her know that you would like to see her take care your horse a little better. She needs to understand that

A: Leasing is a lot of responsibility, if she's not ready for it, she should not be leasing him.

B: you're her friend, not her personal groom. If she doesn't have time to groom him and muck his stall when she's done riding, she needs to come sooner to MAKE time.

C: Your horse deserves better from her and don't feel bad for making demands on his behalf.

I know you are really trying to be fair and that you really have your friendship with her and the best interest of your horse at heart. You and your horse really deserve better treatment though. Friendships have boundaries and communication is key. Don't be afraid to negotiate your position with how people treat you.  Whether she realizes it or not she IS taking advantage of you and you have every right to make her understand that you expect more from your friends.

As far as how much work you expect from her, she is only paying $10 a month so you can expect more from her. How about setting up a schedule with her. Designate which days she plans to be there to ride. On those days she should be responsible for his grooming, exercise and well being. Maybe not necessarily feeding as that might interfere with the feeding of your other horses but mucking his stall (or cleaning up the pasture.) Also when you schedule a vet or farrier visit she should be expected to be able to come and hold him. Also if you are going to do any ground work with him, ask if she would mind being there to learn about it and possible lunge him with you. This could maybe help her understand the concept that working with and caring for a horse extends beyond the saddle. He takes a lot of time and effort and there is more to owning a horse than riding him.

Be up front and reasonable but do not sell yourself short. There are expectations to be met and she needs to understand this. If she wants the responsibility of leasing a horse she needs to accept the demands that come with it. She may even find that she develops a closer bond to him when she spends more time getting to know him.

Answer 8

$10 a month, are you serious?? I would tell her that since she's hardly paying anything, she needs to help out a lot more, otherwise you're going to have to raise the price.

Answer 9

The best thing to do, would be try and teach her how to do every thing. Let her know that grooming and feeding the horse helps that horse bond with her. If she already knows how to groom, feed, and clean out the horse's stall, Let her know that because she is leasing the horse, it's  her responsibility, too.

There may not be a nice way to do that, but it's not fair to you. You shouldn't have to do all the hard work so that she can have all the fun. If it comes down to it, let her know that lot's of people would love to pay only $10 a month to lease a horse.(cause it's true) And that if she doesn't want to take responsibility, someone else will.

Oh and the fact that she's only paying $10 a month doesn't mean you should feel bad about asking her to do more. It means that she should realize how unbelievably cheap that is to lease a horse, and do the work that she's not even coming closing to paying you for.

Answer 10

well, If she's not holding up her end of the lease then it sounds like you shouldn't lease to her anymore. she should appreciate the fact that you are doing this to help her and for little to nothing! either explain to her that you can either raise her lease up to compensate for you having to do HER work or just tell her you have decided not lease the horse anymore. either way she should learn to respect YOU and the HORSE enough to take care of him. the biggest tthing you can do is explain to her how important it is. and if she doesn't want that kind of responsibility than you have the option of not renewing said lease. I have run into the same problem in the past with people and it sucks!

Answer 11

You need to remind her that the lease rate was dependent on her also doing chores around the barn related to the horse's care. If she cannot or will not perform those chores, then you will need to increase her lease rate as a result of the extra time you are putting in taking up the slack.

If she does no comply, then you need to increase her lease rate to full market value, which would be more on the order of $100 a month.

Answer 12

$10 a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding?????!!!!!!!!!

Wow, i answered your other question to and i am pretty sure that you are talking about the same girl. I think you should tell her that she can't ride unless she grooms. and chip in little things like o she/he looks dirty, maybe you should groom him/her. little hints and stuff.

When she says she is coming out to ride tell her to make sure she has time to groom and stuff otherwise she isnt riding.

Or tell her to find a different horse, she sounds kind of lazy (no offence)

Answer 13

Since you are charging her so little I guess that the whole lease thing was because you didn't feel that you had the time for this horse. In that case i would explain to her that was the idea and since you end up doing everything for it except riding then you are going to have to find someone else who will actually do all the work.

it's going to be tricky if you still want to stay friends with her but what she is doing is taking advantage of you - real friends don't do that.

Stand your ground - $10 a month, she wouldn't even get a lesson for that, she is seriously taking the rip and you need to stampp it out.

Answer 14

Put a price on it...what it's worth for you to do "her" work.  Politely let her know that the price you initially gave her was based on your thinking that she would do her own grooming and cleanup.  Then list for her every detail of the work you are doing on her behalf.  Make the amount you charge significant enough to discourage her from just saying okay and paying it.  If she balks, then you could discuss the reasons why somebody has to do it, and hopefully enlighten her to the needs of the horse. Good luck.

Answer 15

Oooo this is tough, but you really need to tell her gently that if she wants to continue leasing this horse she need to care for it. Type up a list of simple things she should do (brushing,cooling off, etc.) and let her read it. Tell her if she fails to do these things, she cant lease the horse anymore. If she has to leave all the time, she should learn to manage her time better. You have to be nice but firm about it. It really sucks picking up after someone else all the time.

Good luck! =]

Answer 16

MY question is

On this question you posted. [dont know if its the same person]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

You said you were going to have the person pay $30 for lease

How did it go from $30 to $10?

Are these the same people?

If they are different then thats kind of unfair if your having them pay different prices. Unless the lease is different

And if they are the same girl then you havent gave her enough time to get herself in gear.

But to answer your question.

You should really just tell her she needs to do the work . And like said somewhere above. Threaten to raise the price to $100 .

[ ;

Answer 17

I guess I'd offer to help her take care of it.  Show her what to do, like, "She/he likes to be brushed, especially here" or "she/he loves this, you try it".  Showing someone something almost always triggers something in their mind that makes them remember it.  

If she still doesn't get it, tell her someone else is interested in leasing the horse & wants to learn how to take care of a horse.  Even though it isn't technically true, it might spark something in your friend's brain to make her realize she has to stop taking advantage of you.

Answer 18

$10 a month?! Lucky girl.

Kudos to you for wanting to be nice, if it were me and I was treated that way, or rather, my HORSE was being treated that way, I'd blow a fuse.

If she says that she has to leave, ask her if she can stay and help. If she says no, tell her politely that it is her horse, and she needs to be more involved. If she doesn't want to be more involved, then I would suggest breaking the lease for someone that actually wants to take care of your horse.

Answer 19

She's leasing a horse. $10 is outrageously cheap. You need to tell her next time she comes, "Look, (name), your leasing my horse, but leasing means that you ride the horse AND take care of it. Your just coming, riding, and leaving. You also need to take care of him/her. So, basically, you can keep on just riding and not caring for my horse, but I'm going to raise the price to $100 every month. Or, you could take care of him/her for $10. I'm giving you one week to start taking care of (horse's name), and if after one week, you aren't taking care of him/her, I'm raising the price to $100. Got it?" You have to just tell her, and remember that whatever happens, like if she's paying the $10 after one week and still just riding, and when you send her the bill for $100 and she will only pay $10, you can always break the lease. Good luck, and don't be afraid to "get into her face" after one week.

Answer 20

Make a list of chores/ responsibilities that she is responsible for and hold her to them. Make it state that they are to be done EVERY time she rides, and have your friend sign it, or simply post it in the stable area!

Answer 21

Your friend may not know enough about horses to do what you expect her to do.  She may think you are also riding the horse, so she doesn't have to do as much.  Talk to her about your expectations.  Come to an agreement and make sure both of you knows what is expected.  

If she is interested in just riding and nothing else, tell her the price will have to go up because you will have to take the time to get the horse ready and you will have to take time to cool him down and turn him out and such.  Don't let your friend take advantage of you.

If she agrees to do what you think needs to be done with the horse, you may even want to draw up an agreement.

In the agreement, list all of her responsibilities and the amount of time she is to be riding the horse per day.  Spell everything out.  If you expect her to groom the horse thoroughly before and after riding, make sure the agreement says that.  If you expect her to ride at least 1 hour per day but no more than 3 hours per day, make sure the agreement says that.  If she is to cool the horse down beore turning him out, put that in the agreement.  You may want to make up a schedule to be included with the agreement.  

The amount she pays each month needs to be written in a dollar amount and also spelled out.  The monthly rent for (the horse's name) is $10.00 (ten dollars and no cents) which i s to be paid between the 1st and the 8th of each month.

Be sure your friend has time to read and review the agreement before anyone signs it.  Ask her if she has any questions before either one of you signs the agreement.  Make sure she gets a copy.

I hope this helps.