How do i not be self conscious?

Question

I am 16 years old, 5'6 and 120 lbs. I am always self conscious about myself and it hurts me and others that I am. When i go swimming i tend to want to keep a shirt on now and my friends look at me like i'm crazy. My friends & fam say i'm beautiful and thin but i just don't like showing it i guess. Lately i've been wearing more baggy clothes and not tight clothing that i could actually pull off. I feel like i shouldn't be so self conscious about my body, but I don't know what to do to boost my confidence! Help :(

Answer 1

You have to realize that most people naturally only think about themselves 98% of the time and about other people and their looks 0.5% or less.  Getting out of high school and the cliques and fashion conscious pressure of high school helps a lot too.  Nothing's wrong with who you are, no matter what you look like.."God doesn't make no junk" someone said once.

Answer 2

Omg! I know what you mean!!! I feel the exact same way sorta. I am 5'1" and about 105 or 6 lbs (we have like the same bmi). which is supposed to be pretty thin right? Well I tend to get looser fitting clothes as well even though I could probably pull off tighter clothes but I feel SO self-concious, everything has to look just the way I want it too, not too tight, shoulders not too broad, etc, etc., until I just keep freaking out about things that don't really matter.

I am SLOWLY trying to overcome this and it's NOT easy at all. It starts in the mind because that's where the problem resides. Inside your mind. You need to tell yourself that when you are wearing more fitting clothes or going swimming if you act self concious people will only notice more and if you play it off cool people won't care.

I have a friend who is like 5ft. and about 120lbs. so she is a little chubby and she wears really tight clothes but she doesn't try to hide it or act as if she is in the wrong piece of clothing and so she works it and it's fine. If you can do that with your stuff that you already know in your mind you can pull off then you'll have no problem.

Just try it once, like start small, this really helped me. Wear something you wouldn't normally wear like a more form fitting shirt or something and then go out to a public place like the supermarket or something in an area that you probably wouldn't run into anyone you know at. Just act cool and composed and nobody will say anything because nothing will be normal. It's all in your brain.

So yeah, I hope this helped because I have been and definately STILL am going through what you are. If you want to talk about it some more feel free to email me okay?

Answer 3

"Lately i've been wearing more baggy clothes and not tight clothing that i could actually pull off"

You already have some confidence in your body! You know you look good and you know you can pull off wearing nice fitted clothing.

If people don't like how you look, just dont care! Who needs them anyway! If you're worried about guys... well you don't need those guys who don't think you're pretty. Especially those guys who only think about appearance. And the new boosted confidence that you'll soon find in yourself will just emphasize your beauty and character. Anyway, the people who really matter to you like your appearance and probably your personality too ;D

Self consciousness is okay, just dont let it control your happiness.

Get involved and active in your life and you'll find that you might be too busy enjoying the company of your friends and making new friends to be so occupied on thinking about the "flaws" of your body.

Answer 4

It's probably a passing phase. Many girls and guys are self-conscious in their teens. I was like that too. I still wore my blue jeans during the summer when I was in my teens! I never wore shorts until I was in my 20's. If you're uncomfortable about wearing less clothing, then don't. It's not immoral, unethical or illegal. So, who cares. It's your body.

Answer 5

HOW TO OVERCOME NERVOUSNESS

       Many  of  us suffer considerably because we are  nervous of meeting people. First, we are too concerned with what  impression we  make on people.  Secondly, we are not sufficiently  concerned with others and with contributing to their happiness.  The  third cause is lack of confidence in ourselves. Let us look more closely at the causes of our nervousness in meeting people.

#   We are too concerned with the impression we make on  people. This anxiety makes us self-conscious.  We have to focus  our  attention  on  things outside ourselves.  Our  interests  or hobbies  are  a great help in this way.  Joining  clubs  and  societies  connected  with  our  interests  brings  us  into  contact  with  others like ourselves.  We  can  more easily  forget our self-consciousness  with  people  with  similar  tastes.

     On the other hand, we have also to meet people with whom  we have  nothing in common.  The person whom we are talking  too might  feel nervous also.  We must try then, to put  him  at  his ease.  Listening and intelligent questioning will  often  provide  us  with  useful information. Most  people  enjoy giving information.

#     We  are  not  sufficiently  interested  in  others  and in contributing to  their happiness.  Interest in  others  can  start as we forget ourselves.        

     A  relative of mine mixes easily with all kinds of people. She  never thinks what impression she makes on others. She is too busy getting to know the other person. In this  lies  a  considerable  part of her success. A kind greeting or a smile is valuable if it cheers someone.  A genuine word  of  appreciation encourages every worker at whatever task.  At a  party  we  should  try  drawing some  timid  soul  into  the conversation.  We  shall forget our own nervousness in so doing.

#          We lack confidence in ourselves.  This is the most important cause of all.

     We must not allow ourselves to withdraw from others  because of  lack of confidence. We may lack confidence.  This  does not mean, we are in any way inferior .We must analyze in what ways we lack confidence.  As we take practical steps to help ourselves, we shall feel easier with people.

     Often  we  are unconsciously affected by handicaps  such  as short  sight.  Physical defects too are thought to be much more  noticeable than they are.  We must realize  that  our value as human beings is in no way affected by them. Our real personalities will reveal themselves  fully  only when  we forget our physical handicaps.  If we know that we look well groomed and tidy we feel more relaxed.

     The  way we speak is another important factor.  ALWAYS  LOOK DIRECTLY  AT  THE PERSON WHOM YOU ARE  ADDRESSING.   MAKE  A CONSCIOUS  EFFORT  TO RAISE THE VOICE, USING THE  MOUTH AND LIPS. When we feel nervous, slower speech will also make for greater clarity.  How we express our thoughts is also vital in  enabling  us to face people  confidently.   Avoid  using vague phrases such as `you know what I mean'. We must accept and like ourselves. Then we can like others.  We must work out a philosophy of life that gives us courage. Belief  in  the  oneness of  mankind under  an  over-ruling providence makes the courage easier to find.

Answer 6

Don't think about how you are doing something or how you look doing it If you do you will feel self conscious and will not do or be at your best because your mind is preoccupied with your doubts instead of  the task on hand.

There are things we can't change and things we can; wasting our time worrying about the things we can't change will not help us change the things about us that can be changed.

Thinking about the good things about you and the changes that you can make will make you less conscious about the things you can't change.

There are two types of changes, the ones that that you can make and the ones you can't, one will make you happy if you go for it and the other will make you unhappy because you just can't make a dead horse run.

So go ahead be who you are and don't worry about who your not because who your not is not who you are accept that and others will accept you for who you are....

Answer 7

well the good news is if it's your weight that's conscerning you then well you've just be taught all wrong. your a victim of society honestly in the world of super models and malibu barbies it can't help but make a woman insecure. but cheer up chick your just about right you have a b.m.i  (body mass index) of 19.4 which just barely falls into the normal range. your actually almost underweight. take a look for yourself http://www.consumer.gov/weightloss/bmi.h...

don't give a d**n about what other people think. you could actually put on a few pounds if you ask me.