How do i punish my son?

Question

He is 6 almost 7. He has a smart *** mouth and thinks he runs the place sometimes. He smarts off to us. He calls my friends names like "saying they have a watermelon head" and he also called her kid a titty baby cause he got scared when he heard a siren in the neighborhood.

We have always used time out and positive reinforcement, taking things away, and the occassional spanking. but i am not into scaring them and i hate to see him cry. When me and his dad punish him we say we are sorry and sometimes get so tied up doing something else that he comes out of time out w/out us even realizing he came out .....sometimes we even forget why he was in trouble. that is what the problem is........so

now i need help fixing it.

at 7 years old, is it too late? How do i punish him now after he is already like this?

How can i make myself not feel bad when he is crying and i punish him?

Answer 1

Number one...You have to LIVE what you expect your child to LEARN.  Apparently;  you have been using smart *** language in front of your son, he had to have learned this somewhere, and I am sick and tired of people blaming it on the TV.  THE PARENTS ARE IN CHARGE OF THE CHILD!!!!

Number Two, no; it is not too late.

You must punish him and stick to your guns...

No one likes a smart alec person, no one.

Try time out if it works, but you do have to stick to it, try the other suggestion of taking something away for a day that  he really treasures.

Personally speaking; If my son spoke that way to ANY adult,  I would make him apologise then take him to the bathroom and spank his behind.  Not in an abusive way, I would spank him every time he uses his smart mouth to me, his peers, your friends or anyone else.  THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!

Answer 2

i'd say something to possibly do is just when he gets like that, put him in an empty room. and if he cries and screams, just keep him in there until he quits. also, possibly stop giving him attention when he does that stuff because maybe he just likes making you mad. idk. just some thoughts. it sounds like you've tried a lot already.

Answer 3

I know sometimes it hurts to have to get tough with the little ones you love so much. Just remember that teaching them good behavior is a vital part of the parents job and that if you and your husband don't do it, no one else will either. Don't feel alone in this, every other parent has to get tough sometimes too.

Explain to him what he has done wrong as soon as you see him do it. And during his time out, keep him close enough to you that you can remind him several times why he is having to sit out. Remember to keep time outs to a resonable time, excessivly long timeouts don't ussually work. I think the rule of thumb is ussually considered to be 1 minute per year of age. So a 6 year olds time out should be 6 minutes. It may not sound like alot, but it will feel like an eternity to a kiddo who wants to be playing! Also require an apology from him for what he has done wrong before he is allowed to get out of time out, this will also reinforce what he has done wrong.

Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Who's the parent here? YOU ARE.  Punishing sucks, no doubt about that, and I can't stand to hear my little one cry either but you're punishing him worse by NOT reinforcing discipline.  It's for his own good. He's got to learn to respect others now, otherwise he'll grow up unprepared to succeed in life.  As punishment for his smart mouth I'd make him write a letter of apology and would take away a treasured toy for a day each time he does it. Once he learns there are consequences for his actions he'll stop doing it. It's not too late, you just have to be very firm and FOLLOW THROUGH on every threat consistently until he realizes you're serious. It might take 2 weeks of tough love but it will be for his own good.

Answer 5

Its not too late!

You cant get 'tied up' with things when youre parenting.

you must make sure he stays the full amount of time you have givin (anywhere from 3-5 minutes is reasonable for him to learn.

That is why he does these things, because you dont follow through and he knows what he can get away with.

Just a few changes and you should have 'brand new' son! =)

When he calls people names just tell him that is not nice and we dont talk to friends that way...if he does it again... then he is punished (time out,etc).

Always, always follow through! You are the boss!

Plus, make sure youre spending time with him and doing things that he likes...  that can be your bonding time with him.

Try to keep an organized schedule and certain rules and always have some kind of punishment for the bad behavior.

Hope it works out for you! =)

GL

Answer 6

Spank him! :P Just kidding ^_^

u can spank me though :0

Answer 7

Spank him or make him stand in the corner.

Answer 8

Making him cry may feel bad to you but sometimes it is nessacry. Nothing else seems to work  so scaring him into something may. If he smarts off to you or your friends tell him if he does it again he won't like what happens he will wonder what happens and probably do then just act like you don't hear him Act like he is't even theer for that matter he will get furtatred and eventually probalem start screming just ignore him more when he finally  stops look at him and say now did you like it when i ignored you. he will say no I didn't and tell him well others feel the same way when you are mean to them. Sounds werid but it has worked for me. No child likes tobe ignored

Answer 9

beat his @$$ wit a extention cord or a hot bealt. or a wire hanga

Answer 10

Telling someone that they have a watermelon head sounds like something you would say. I wonder where he got it! It would be the same reason why my son slaps me is because I slap him on the hand when he does something wrong and now he thinks it's ok.

Answer 11

You've already stated your problem, so now you have to fix it.... You are the boss, the parent, you have to have control....when you stick him in a time out you have to remember that he is there for a reason...make him sit there until his time is up and then go and talk to him about why he was, you have to make sure he understand what he is doing is wrong, just because you put him in a time out doesn't mean he understands that his actions/words are wrong...Also you have to make sure he stays in the time out for the time you gave him ( I suggest 6min because he is 6y/o, I always add 2 min. if they do it again)..if you have to, write it all down (why he is in trouble, how long he has to stay in time out, things you want to talk to him about..ect) No worries though, 7 years isn't too late. You have to be firm about your actions too, when you say time out for 6 minutes you have to mean it...It might take a couple times before he starts acting right though...the problem won't fix itself in one day....

He probably is crying because he is trying to make you feel bad (wrapping you around a finger) and he knows it is going to work if you show it...

As for you feeling bad, you have to remember that he can't act like that, so you have to punish him, or better yet, instead of saying punish him, say you have to teach him, because in reality that is what you are doing by sticking him in the corner, you are teaching him that his action aren't acceptable! :) Good luck...remember hang it there, it'll work in the end! :)

Answer 12

As a parent it is your job to teach him self discipline.  It is taught through trial and error.  When he makes a mistake, he should have the opportunity to make it right.   If he continually makes a mistake, then you must apply discipline.  

You apply discipline with the goal of teaching him self discipline.

Children without self discipline grow up and kill other people.

It may hurt today to exact discipline upon your child, but if it is necessary, then it must be done so you do not have to be the mom who needs to explain why their child walked into a school lecture hall and shot 17 people.  

Teach him while you can.... 7 is NOT too old.

Answer 13

put him in a time out. In a corner.

Make him sit on the couch for some time to think about what he did.

Than get down to his level and be calm about it and talk to him about why he was there.

Answer 14

He's going to be a wild or wilder child that does what he wants when he wants because mommy and daddy do not follow through on the punishment. So he knows he is able to get by with whatever.

You HAVE to follow through with the punishment. You yourself said that you don't follow through, you forget why he is being punished and he comes out without you realizing it because you two are busy. I'm sorry but regardless if what you are doing make time to be unbusy for 6-7 minutes however long his timeout is to make sure he stays in time out. When timeout is over don't let him run free, you then get down on the floor with him or wherever and ask him if he realizes why he had the timeout & have him explain it & appolagize to you.. There is NO point in a timeout if you don't do this!! & you do not need to be the ones saying sorry to him. It's the other way around.. Being a parent means tough love sometimes..

Answer 15

there is this brilliant radio psy who can put you on the right path. i love her advice!

http://wor710.com/Dr--Joy-Browne/46353

Answer 16

He realized you won't punish him and he knows he can get away with it. That's what happens to kids that don't listen, because their parents didn't discipline them hard enough. You're just going to have to step up. My dad would get the "paddle" out and slap our butts when we did something. It works! And no, it's not abuse!

Answer 17

why are you apolgizing to him when it was he who did something wrong.  It sounds as though there is control issues in the house and your son is the one who is in control.

you are the parent if he is 7yrs old how difficult is it to watch him for the whole 7 minutes he is in timeout.

do you know what i made my son do at that age and he still does it, it my son says something RUDE i make him write the dictionary defination of rude 25 times, with no mistakes.

My son hated it at first but now he is 11 and he's a good kid and very seldomly has to write out defintions.

Answer 18

you need to show him who's the boss. you need to find some way to let him know that what you want him to do it what he's going to do, whether it be not calling names, staying in time-out, etc. it's never too late to start punishing your child, you need to set up a system of priveledges and consequences, and let him know that if he talks back to you or something that he won't be able to have dessert or whatever. you need to set it up one day when he's calm and have him think of appropriate punishments for himself, this will teach him responsibility and help him agree more with his punishments.

and i hate to say it, but when he cries you need to ignore him the best you can. you've just got to put on your best angry mommy face and let him know where you stand, and not change it. he only cries because he knows that you'll give in.

its gonna be hard for you, your husband and him, but it has to be done. and believe me, when he does start acting better you'll forget all about his crying.

hope it helps

christine

Answer 19

Take away TV , video games, early  bed time make sure you do it.

Answer 20

Well, first of all, (not to be mean) but you really need to get over being afraid of spanking your kid. If he doesn't get scared, he doesn't learn. That's how they learn what is wrong, if it hurts, DON"T DO IT. Simple toddler logic. I was wooped a LOT when I was little and now I'm pretty behaved... er.. pretty...

Mix positive reinforcement with whipping and time out. If he says something rude don't be afraid to threaten him. If he starts to cry, let him cry. He did something wrong and he needs to learn that it's wrong.

My father alway did the same thing when I got wooped when I was little. He said, "I love you when you're good, and I love you when you're bad. I just don't want to you be bad."

Don't be afriad to try to explain to him that he needs to learn right from wrong.

Yes, he's going to cry, but it's all part of learning. Part of being a parent is being able to control these kind of things.

Answer 21

spank him and you could use the time out thing but I think it is a little too late for that

Answer 22

Of course seven isn't too late! The problem here, is that you are treating him like he is seven, so he is acting like he is seven. He also does these things to get your attention, which he seems to be doing! Here's what you do; Sit down and have a lengthy talk with him about his behavior problems, then start MODELING how to behave properly. He isn't learning this from nowhere. Shut off the TV if you think thats the problem.  He still looks to you and his Dad to know what to do in situations so you always need to behave responsibly.

Answer 23

stop being a wimp,beat him beat him beat him and dont worry about him crying,its only to make u feel bad cuz he knows it gonna make u feel bad,u baby him too much,dont tell him ur sorry -_-,then he would know he would get away with stuff,i've been beaten whenever i said c**p to anyone by my dad and now i totally respect my elders and people,thats the positive,the negative....he might blame u when he gets older which is so d**n stupid and typical of american children,in other countries we thank our parents when we are older for the beating we got,made us better people

Answer 24

He thinks he runs the place sometimes...................... WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING HIM TO BEHAVE THIS WAY!!!!!

You are the parent - step up to the plate and do your job!

A big scare is just what he NEEDS!  It will not hurt any child to cry once in a while.

Do not look at this as feeling bad when you punish him - look at it as if you don't - he will continue this behavior and it will eventually get worse because by the time he's a teenager - he may resort to hitting or beating you. He needs to know he has limitations and punishment when he behaves badly.

I've seen too many people go through this same thing; you see examples of it on TV all of the time.  The teenagers end up disrespectful, cussing/swearing/hitting/beating their own parents because the parents REFUSED to step up to the plate and be a parent!

My daughter-in-law went through this with one of her daughers (even though she was only 2 at the time).  She was always frustrated and I finally had a good long talk with her.  She was afraid to do anything because she did not want her daughter to hate her.  I told her "continue doing nothing and she will hate you even more when she's older.  You are her mother - not her friend.  Do it now before it's too late!"

She did and that little girl is now 11 and them best behaved young lady you'd ever wish to be around plus she's in a 'talented and gifted' class at school and has a great head on her shoulders now.

Answer 25

You have to be consistant!!! Follow through don't be to busy to complete the punishment!! We always set the timer on the oven for time out. Everytime they got up we extendd the time.

They are forming there behavior now! It will only get worse as he get older.think about what it will be when he is 16! Parenting isn't easy. You just have to think about the adult you are forming and don't feel bad about expecting acceptable behavior. Take the computer away, shut the TV off, take his favorite toy away! Basically it is a test of wills and sence he is winning you have to show him the free ride is over! Set the rules and maintain them, Even if timeout is on a chair where you are working!!!! Good luck!!! My kids bit into many a bar of soap till they decided yuck!!!

Answer 26

yell PIMPSLAP NO-JUTSU!!!!! and then slap him and say " what up blood!?"

or just ground him and take his stuff away

U must be hardcore not him

Answer 27

You already know your problem. You need to fix it. Nobody is going to fix it for you. When you punish him. Make the punishment stick. Don't forget. Write it down. Enforce it.

It sounds like you are too lax on him.

Answer 28

It's not too late, but you and your husband have got to stick together and make you son's behavior a priority until you have things under control.

Answer 29

when you punish him, don't say your sorry, and don't feel bad when he's crying, don't attempt to comfort him at all until you ask him what he has done wrong. your the parent so do your job right.

Answer 30

well I know ya don't want my opinion....what little I been aound him  those things he is saying he is getting from you or both of you...you can't expect him to behave if the parents are acting his age  some times you have to think before you say...no parent is perfect  believe me I know....  we all make mistakes in raising our kids  ..sometimes we have to change in order for our kids to change...remember the male child follows the roll model of the same s*x as him

Answer 31

stop giving him your attention for bad behaviour, ignore him, i know its hard but do that and when he says somthing nice then give him lots of attention