How do i put this tactfully....?

Question

obviously people are going to get some things off of our wedding registry for us, (my whole guest list is very close family- only 21 people, they are big into gift buying) but i dont want to have to put someone in charge of moving and putting the gifts somewhere, and i dont want to have to deal with it on my special day either. so how do i tactfully put we'd appreciate money (carrying around checks and gift cards is not a hassle), or if our gifts could be delivered after the wedding we would appreciate it more?

Answer 1

You can't - asking for money is rude. Surely your parents, his parents, or some of your attendants won't mind moving the gifts that are brought to the wedding. People deal with this when the guest lists are 200+, 21 people bringing gifts (most of whom will bring cash or ship it to your house anyways) isn't a big deal.

Answer 2

Being an 'early bird' myself, I can see your point - but it is actually more than a little early to print anything. Do the design and wording, but don't print - paper yellows, ink fades, corners turn, etc.

Now as to your question....this is where having plenty of time with work to your advantage. Please don't put on the actual invites any mention of gifts, but be a bit more practical about it and use 'the grapevine'. I don't care whose family or group of friends, there is always a grapevine where information is passed between them. This is how you get the point across of either having your gifts shipped early or after or having monetary gifts given.

Good Luck and happy planning!

Answer 3

Wedding gifts are to be delivered to the bride's house or the parents of the bride's house these days.  It's too much trouble to transport the gifts otherwise, and you run the risk of theft of gifts by having them on a table in a public place.  You'll have only a small number of gifts brought to the reception these days, and no one opens gifts at a wedding any longer so there's no reason for them to be there.  This early delivery allows you to get an early start on the thank you notes too - which is a bonus!

Answer 4

Instead of having write anything and taking a chance on people getting upset .  Just tell your mom or 1 person close to you to just take care of all the presents and put them some where that you'll deal with it later.   This way no one gets the wrong idea or upset.  I'm sure someone like your mom or dad would be glad to do it for you.

Answer 5

Most of our gifts were delivered straight to the house. We did have a few gifts that people brought with them to the reception - but most people gave gift cards or money.

I would simply put your maid of honor, mother, etc. in charge of taking the gifts home or loading them into your car. If each person from the bridal party carries a few gifts out to your car or your parents car then it won't be such a big deal.

Answer 6

Where are you registered?

If registered at Bed Bath & Beyond, they will mail the gifts directly to you.

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regHome....

Many local stores here will deliver the gifts to your home . . . or you and hubby can pick them up at your convenience.

I would suggest that you just be careful where you register.  Opt for the local places that deliver . . . or opt for an online store where the gifts will be mailed directly to you.

Answer 7

You could put in a note at the bottom of the registry "Monetary gifts appreciated" or as another site note "Please send gifts to: Your address" That way it doesn't sound pushy, but it gets the point across.

Answer 8

you do realise you are getting married in another TWO (2) well just under ,,, anways ,,, years right?!

and you are thinking about where your gifts will go? and how to ask people for money instead?

insane

EDIT - getting invites printed now is silly anyways and you asked opinions i gave mine, it's your choice to be tacky, it is my choice to be honest! just a thought ... use it, don't use it ...

Answer 9

You can't put it tactfully because it's rude to dictate the gift a guest is expected to give.  Gifts are chosen by the giver, not the recipient.  Get over it and ask one of your close, gift-giving family members to pack the gifts up at the end of the evening.  Otherwise, skip the invitations and just sell tickets to the wedding--it's more straightforward.

Answer 10

You cant. Im sorry but not wanting to deal with it on your special day doesnt excuse you from carrying your gifts home. We live in another country and had to ship gifts home at a premium price (some were quite heavy) but even we didnt complain about it.

It is the receivers responsibility to take care of the gifts. If you dont want any, just tell them you dont want any gifts at all.

Sheesh.

Answer 11

There is no way to put this tactfully. I won't lie...this new need for money only is my biggest petpeeve. I am sure your mother, father, MOH, or anyone else would be happy to move your gifts for you. Just say thank you and smile.

Answer 12

Ummmmmm, Isn't it your maid/matron of honor or one of your bridesmaids responsibilities  to handle this "gift transport".

And, since your wedding date is 2 yrs off, don't you think you or your bridesmaids will have an opportunity to share, if asked, that you'd prefer that gifts be mailed before or after the event; so that all involved don't have to mess with lugging anything around.  Anyway, people are going to do what they want to do, even if you put it in bold print, SOMEBODY will show up with a gift and you'll need to have some wedding party attendant deal with it.  by the way, most people send gifts before the date anyway.

I really don't think this is something you want to include with your wedding invitation (which won't go out until a couple of months before hand anyway).  I don't think you'd like to reminisce the fact that you put some lame commentary on your wedding invite; it would totally take away from the whole invite to begin with.

Answer 13

Most people actually send their gifts to the return address on the invitations before the event so I would not worry at all!

Answer 14

This question is asked all the time, and the answer is always the same - there is NO tactful way to ask for money. None at all. Asking for money is tacky.

If you only have 21 people coming, you shouldn't have to worry about too many boxes at the event. Several people will ship you something off your registry beforehand. Just ask someone to put any remaining gifts in the car after the reception - it's an easy job that won't take long, and everyone will be happy to help you on your wedding day.

Your only other classy option is put "no gifts necessary" on your invitation.

Answer 15

Not much of a tactful way. In wedding manners, the groom and bride shouldn't request such gift alterations.

However, new trends are coming out. So it is fairly reasonable to adjust the request into a tactful non-offending way.

I have been to weddings where they have a funding account that would give complimentry help in funding their honeymoon. So people had the option of buyina a gift or putting money into the account (It was a travel agency account).

I have been to weddings where the groom and bride put on their wedding invitations that their would be a welcoming the couple home party after the honeymoon where they would be delighted to open the gifts and share their photos from the event it.

I been to a wedding where the bride's mom coordinated the gift section. (Set a good size area aside) and offered to take the gifts back to the Bride'Groom's home while the bride and groom took off to Jamacia.

I have heard a lot of people are still feeling it is rude to ask specifically how the gift is (money/gift card).

So I don't know how your family feels. I honestly think it is okay to give gift cards (I got a few myself).

If you all are close, just discuss with your family of your wishes.