How do i reach out to my soon to be step-son and not get taken advantage of when...

Question

his dad isn't around. Me and his son have an okay relationship; his mother was never involved in his life. It's not like this often, but when his father is around, he is in line and does what he is suppose to do. When his dad leaves for work or to run errands, his son just forgets what his dad has told him and kind of tests me...he's not a problem child,,it's just the stuff he does because "i'm not the parent".

I want to buy him some things, but it's weird, i'm not a parent and I don't know how to bounce back quickly when I feel like I have been taken advantage of....

suggestions?

Answer 1

How old is this kid? First of all, if I am being held responsible for you you will listen to me (as if I am your momma). Try explaining that to him. If he don't want to respect you, then he gets nothing from you. Depending on his age you provide him with supervision and basic needs. Let him get mad, stomp around, lock his self in his room, who cares, if he don't like it he will have to start respecting you. The only other choice is to tell his dad on you, and he don't want to do that because that will reveal his behavior that led you to act like that.Have you told the dad? Tell the dad how he acts and ask him what he suggests you do. Tell him you don't want to mess up your relationship with his son, but he must respect you. Another thing, one of my sons, who never had a father figure, used to try that with my husband, once my husband started treating him like one of his own (disciplining him) my son started to look at him as his father. It is amazing what kids will do to KNOW you care about them.

Answer 2

take time to talk to him and find out what he enjoys doing. if he likes music, buy him a cd. if he likes photography, get him a camera.

something simple but affectionate would do.

just get to know him. but remember that he is a teenage kid. treat him as your equal.