How do i stand by my pregnant teen?

Question

my Daughter is turning 18 soon! she is dating a college Guy! i dont know how to let go!! i know shes inlove with him!! they are so inlove they are always with each other! they argu sometimes but then make up five minutes later! he asked her to marry him! she said yes i remember her jumping up & down crying cause she was so happy! she told him how much she loved him! he took her to prom that night she lost her virginity to him! she told me everything! & Now shes Pregnant! i dont know why its just so hard cause i feel like im losing her!!!!! i dont even know what to say! what do i do?????

Answer 1

for one thing you should be at least grateful she confides in you and doesn't go off and get married on her ow

Answer 2

At some point you have to trust that you've taught her everything you can and she needs to experience life on her own. Be there for her, but try not to parent her anymore. It sounds like she's at a point where she's going to make the decisions herself anyway. Be happy that she told you and try to explain to her that you want to be involved in her life regardless of what that means to her. Good luck

Answer 3

Well first off don't think of it as losing her.  think f it as gaining another half of her lol.  And think about, you're her mom, she is going to turn to you more now cause her boyfriend can't share his mother/child relationship stories with her.  The bonding that occurs between a granparent and a grand child id like no other (or so i've been told).  My mom and I was VERY close, and when I got pregnant it made just closer, and now that I have my son, he is the light of her life.  Be happy that you have a grandchild to spoil and dote love upon... with out changing diapers and dealing with tantrums  lol.

Answer 4

I totally get why you would be freaking out!!! If she is happy with this man, then I would just leave it alone. Don't but in because then you may lose her for real! Keep in mind that she is a legal adult the second she turns 18, so you can't expect her to listen to everything you say!

Answer 5

that is really hard i think i would say "you are making a lot of huge decisions really quickly, maybe to rashly, and you are still a teen you should be experimenting and living your life not tying yourself down so quickly, i will support you with your choices but i only want the best for you and i don't know if you will agree with a lot of choices a little later on"

something along the lines of that

Answer 6

Slap her hard even if you find yourself separating from her because it is more important to make her better . At worst , marry her to the guy.

Answer 7

You will not lose her. I got pregnant at 16 had him at 17. When I told my mother she cried for a couple of days because she knew that I was young and she wished I was done with school and things. But now that he is born she is completely in love with him he is almost 2 and I am pregnant again (the babies have the same father just to clear that up) at 19 and she is very excited. Grandchildren are a blessing and you should support her and try to help her deal with pregnancy. I know if my mom would have disagreed with my pregnancy ,with my definite decision to have it, I would have just said well thats to bad and probably had alot of bad feelings towards her.

Everything will work out in the end and you will love this baby, my mom always says she can spoil him and give him back. lol.

Plus 18 is not that young these days to have a baby. At least she will be out of highschool.

Good luck!!

Answer 8

You have to face the fact that she's growing up. It may be tough, but atleast she is an adult now (I'm not saying she has been one for very long). Does she want to continue going to college? If so, something will need to be worked out. This man must stick by her no matter what, and so must you. You have to be supportive and helpful whenever you can.

Answer 9

Support her otherwise you could lose her. Obviously it's not the most convenient time to get pregnant...but at least he is going to be a permanent fixture instead of a dead beat dad and you are going to be a grandma. Congrats!

Answer 10

to answer your question:

With two feet planted firmly on the ground.

You just do it, legally she can make her own decisions, and while she may be on the young side, she is a woman, and quite capable of being a mom.  It sucks to think your baby is all grown up and you worry this may be the biggest mistake of her life, but think back to when you had her.  Is a baby a huge mistake??  No, a baby is a miracle and a blessing. It will be hard for her, especially if she is immature, but if she has a pretty good head on her shoulders and fantastic family support she may just be able to do it, and shock you by doing it well..  Just love her, and it will work out!!  Big hugs your way!!

Answer 11

Honestly your daughter sounds like an idiot. Getting married at 17, dating a college guy, getting pregnant.  She is still 17 tell her your not gonna accept this kind of behavior and she can't get married and to stop dating the college guy..  Once she does turn 18 and she won't listen and plans to get married I would tell her you aren't going to support the marriage or her, give her one last chance then kick her out of the house.  Its called tough love.

I agree with aswitha slap some sense into her.

Answer 12

As a mom, this is such a hard situation to deal with and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this.  You cannot control what she does or thinks at this point....she needs to deal with her life and make decisions and do the "adult" thing, even if it is wrong in your viewpoint.  What you can do is decide what limits you are going to set, what you will and won't tolerate or be able to deal with, and be there for her emotionally.  Let her know that you are there for emotional support, even if you disagree with choices that she is making.  Try to let go of any resentment or control that you may want to exert in her life.  This may not be her life forever.  Most people, though, learn life lessons through experience, not someone telling them what to do or not do.  Hopefully, something good can come out of all of this.  But, no matter what, you are still her mom and she is still your daughter and this doesn't have to break that bond.  I hope this is helpful.  Good luck, take care, and be well.

Answer 13

It sucks! Kids grow up so fast these days with no time to really enjoy being a kid. Just yesterday they are on training wheels, then training bras, now they are parents themselves. Just spend as much time as you can with her now, enjoy the time you have together. Be there for her for her pregnancy. Letting go is that hardest part about having kids, but it has to be done eventually.

Answer 14

At this stage of life, your role is to support and encourage their relationship. It's obviously better for everyone if it continues, so if you need to read relationship books to help you give good advice, do it! Now that she's pregnant, you do what all grandmas to be should do. You be happy, buy cute stuff for the baby, and ask her opinion on different pregnancy/childbirth and parenting issues to make sure she thinks about them and discusses them with her fella.

You've lost your little baby girl, but you've gained a woman, a son in law and soon a grandchild. Soon you'll be crying with happiness watching your grandchild grow up and saying "I remember when your mum used to do that!"