How do i stop a 10 yr old from always leaving a mess ?

Question

i have a 10 yr old boy and i LOVE him so much,however everytime i tell him to clean up after himself once he actually gets around it, he does SUCH A POOR JOB at it, it doesnt even make a difference.he

walks all over the house wet from the pool and gets hardwood floors & carpets wet. he leaves wet swimshorts on the carpet. i ask him to go back and wipe the water off & he basically wipes off adrop,&

leaves the rest untouched. when "confronted" about it he sais " but i already did!" in his room he leaves everything out, and doesnt even care that his room looks like a "war zone" minutes after i just cleaned and organized.i ask him to pick up his mess and random things that are all over the place,to make his bed. it becomes a tantrum battle or sais "not now, later". if i MAKE HIM stop what he's doing so he can get on with the clean up,he picks up 2-3things & stops.i basically HAVE TO do it,because it either takes too long or not at all.i take things away &ground him, but it doesnt work.

Answer 1

HAHA! Hes 10 you need to relax thats nothing compared to what some boys do at that age. Your trying to make really silly things sound like they are really bad. Hes a boy and hes 10 thats how its going to be and it will probably remain that way tell hes old enough to reason with :D GL

Answer 2

I might be wrong but you or hubby or both set the example.

A reward system might work.

Start with his clothes, hanging up, putting away and so on.

The rewards should be small and should disappear after awhile.

Answer 3

He sounds like a normal ten year old to me, relax and enjoy him he will be grown up and left you soon enough.

Answer 4

I sympathise with you, it's not easy but YOU have to set the boundaries. Your son is using you and there is no excuse under the sun for his behaviour. It also has nothing to do with you being a single mom, I have a resident hubby & still my 10 year old son battles to keep his room tidy but knows not to drop stuff in the common areas. I think you did not start early in his life to teach him to pick up after himself or such things as keeping the swimming pool at the pool not inside your beautiful floors. Its not too late, but its not easy. You have to do it. Sit him down and lay certain rules for him, such as the floors and costume thing. His behaviour right now shows he has NO RESPECT for you or for his home.You need to make him understand this and inform him that since its your home& you are his mother, he needs to respect you. Not negotiable. We mistake respect as not talking in a certain way to others, but respect is not being incosiderate and thoughtless to those close to us. You need to set him clear boundaries, he will not hate you, he will grow to love you more. Children feel safe when there are boundaries set, even though they may outwardly resent them. I am sure you  don't want to raise a yob and so train him now, you will both be happier in the long run. I'd recommend you read Boundaries for Kids by Dr Henry Cloud and Raising Up Boys by Dr. Charles Dobson.

Answer 5

You may easily not want to hear this.... but, you DID ask !

But,

he's using you !!  As his personal maid service AND his personal assistant.... in a game that he knows how to play MUCH better than you !!  He does what he does... and how he does it... because it works for HIM !!  He is allowed to manipulate you with the manner in which he goes about his LEARNED methods of dealing with the problems that he is presented..... namely... the clean-up and straighten up thing !!

It may already be too late to install a new game plan.... but, the only way to correct this behavior is by way of a strong and steady set of rules .....

First off.... the best way to stop him "leaving a mess".... is... to not let him ...... LEAVE the mess !!... He should have to actually and literally STAY with the mess.... UNTIL it is cleaned up the way that it is expected to be cleaned up .... period !!  If it took two weeks.... he'd stay with the mess he created UNTIL it was cleaned up in THIS household.... and, after a few very serious battles over it all.... he would get the distinct understanding WHO was the boss ... AND the judge of when and how this all is done !!

Answer 6

well i think you should just stop because girls who are 10 will

after you tell them again and again will clean thier rooms but boys ,first of all they wont do it and if they do it the results will be so bad that its better that you do it yourself.

Answer 7

Give him an object lesson. Put a raw hamburger on his plate and when he asks you to give him dinner, say "I already did!" Wash his clothes, but don't dry them, fold them or put them away. When he says he has nothing to wear, say "I'll do it later." Let him sleep on dirty sheets and don't make his bed. It won't kill him. When he complains, tell him that you are just showing him that doing a halfway job is just as bad as not doing it at all. Don't worry about his room. He's the one that has to look at the mess. Buy paper plates and cups and relax a little.

Answer 8

My boys are much younger(4 and 5), but this really works for me:

I make them clean up after themselves ALL THE TIME. Get a toy out, put it away. If not, it's mine for a week. Eat lunch, then carry your dishes to the kitchen to be washed. Same with dinner. They know where everything goes, and help me with basic cleaning (pickup the trash/toys for their sister/whatever) every single day. If they refuse, which my four year old likes to do, then time-out till I'm finished.

  I very rarely have to tell my  oldest to clean up after himself now.

Answer 9

its kinda old school.

but a belt always worked

best for me.

Answer 10

you may have to stand over him and show him exactly where the water is. Tell him he isn't done until YOU say he is done. If he leaves stuff all over the house, pick it up and put it in a box. when he asks where it is, tell him "I don't know. Did you pick it up and put it away like I asked you to?". I think after a while of "losing" his stuff he may become a little more responsible. As for his room... pretty much leave it alone. tell him that you are not his maid, so new rules are that no clothes are washed unless they are in front of the washer when you do laundry